Stay at home submissive partner

Stay at home submissive partner

GagFan​(sub male) • Dec 18, 2020

Hey everybody I am a bisexual male submissive and over time I have discovered more and more interest in being a stay at home partner who takes care of the house and day to day errands while my partner goes out and provides for us financially. And I submit to him in our relationship letting him make most of the decisions. Is this something I should try to find in a relationship or am I being unrealistic?

OraclePollon​(sub female){NotYours} • Dec 19, 2020

I don't think it is an unrealistic request. If you are willing to wait for something or build something in that direction go for it.

However, if you think you want to live a lavish lifestyle with someone who will make the income of 2 people, then you may be living in a cinderella land that just won't happen.

I know people with only one income that make it work. There is a give and take. I personally think that every relationship is a matter of what you provide in exchange. Rich men (I use men, which is my scenario) usually have higher 'standards' for what they want out of a partner (Hint: It is usually degrading, because they feel entitled because they make the "societal money") but in reality, it is hard to make a higher salary. So they have a point... there is just a threshold they go daft... imo. xD BUt the same can be said of someone who is making no money. Are you providing the offset to the balance?

This should be a conversation that needs to happen. YES Instagram models spend a fuck ton of time at the gym and on hair and makeup every day! This should not be devalued. Cooking, groceries, meal planning, take A LONG TIME to do and to do 7 days a week in most cases (not like a 5 day a week mid level job) these things all have value and you need to discuss what you are expected to give back to the dynamic in return for both.

I very much believe it can be one makes the money, one cares for the home... the details are how much money and how much home care? Not to mention Sub-style pampered and providing home care.

GagFan​(sub male) • Dec 19, 2020

I definitely don't expect to live a lavish lifestyle. I would be responsible for most if not all household chores, I would do all the cooking and cleaning, and any errands that need to be done. I would appreciate if he managed the finances as I've never been good with money. I would strive to make his life as easy as possible, his home life at least.

GagFan​(sub male) • Dec 20, 2020

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petiteluna​(sub female) • Dec 20, 2020

I don’t think this is unrealistic! I’ve had conversations with a partner before about what you’re describing! About how they work long hours, and they wanted me to be the one taking care of the home/errands. I think you just need to communicate to whoever you’re trying to create something with, what your love language is/their love language. For me, this partner viewed me doing those acts of service as significant to them.

Good luck!

GagFan​(sub male) • Dec 20, 2020

I think one of my issues is that being a stay home partner is usually something that women do and as a guy sometimes I feel like I shouldn't ask for this or even want it. I apologise if that sounds sexist it wasn't my intention.

petiteluna​(sub female) • Dec 20, 2020

For some reason it won’t let me quote you to reply! :/

Not sexist! It’s true, it’s horribly imbalanced when it comes to men staying home. Though I know of different people queer/straight who’ve made it work for them. I think if you’re able to explain to whomever why you’d like to be the “stay at home” partner in the relationship, honesty always goes a long way! for me, I like to be able to serve my partner in that way, and in past the Dom likes that I want to do this and they’re not making me.

Plus, I think there’s even a shift in vanilla hetero relationships, where women are the “dominate” one working and then man is stay at home (whatever their reasons are).

GagFan​(sub male) • Dec 27, 2020

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GagFan​(sub male) • Jan 9, 2021

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