if you feel you continue to die everytime he is with another ..that of course is a choice and you can choose to do that.
i realized that when the D is off with one of the others....i have ""free time"". it is then that i schedule to do projects or chores that are hard to do while He has me on my electronic leash. (meaning the phone- if i am making too much noise He gets angry) so when He shares His scheduling information...i pay attention and note it so that i can do things i need to do without being supervised.
again its your life...and you can choose how to manage it all. im much happy looking at his time with the others as being my vacation time from him...my personal me time.
accceptance is key. accept there will always also be someone else in His life. And accept you get regular intervals of me time away from Him. if you have a life where you HAVE to be dependent on someone ALL the time thats not healthy either.
only you can decide if you can accept things are the way they are and you can build yourself a life around it all.
it can be done.
because i have done it.
sure i get angry at times. and well im a libra so its natural for me to step back and away here and there and take personal health time for myself anyway. the world around me can sometimes be way too loud and it makes me anxious.
taking personal time helps keep everything in its place and i dont get in a snit over Sir being with one of the others. actually its a relief cause i know that i am not being expected to be available.
acceptance is key and it helps to stay on top of all the other stuff in your life.
If he had treated me badly it would be easier, even today when I really needed him he was still there for me as s friend
Not necessarily. Honestly, I think in your case you will be well off in the long run. Not right now, but in the future. You both are splitting on good terms and he actually told you that he has released you. This IS one of the best case scenarios.
It is going to suck and it is going to hurt. If you know you are not cut out for poly, then don't try to force yourself to be something you are not. It is awesome for those that are open to it but not everyone is cut out for it. If you aren't, then wait for the right person to come along, even if the waiting is lonely and torturous. However, I do think you will learn and benefit a lot from this and the take away will be mostly a lot of good. Consider yourself more lucky than you realize.
I had a similar question for the last two years. "How to detach from your Dom when he discarded you without ever truly releasing you?" There had been a lot of abuse and neglect in the relationship. I was gutted but eventually, with time, no contact with him, and a lot of support from my friends it has gotten me pretty far from back then.
I tend to use a crowbar, but in all seriousness it is a matter of you’ve spent so long with them that your body and mind are naturally used to and “comfortable” with him around and so it is a matter of forcing that to change in both ways. Now this can be done through seperation (complete) as this almost “re-wires” your brain to revert back to its natural state of not needing him to be around.
I know this wasn’t much of an answer however it is somethjng that has helped me from time to time.