Possessiveness

Taramafor​(sub male) • Mar 3, 2021

More instinct then desire. I don't think you're thinking about why you enjoy the things you do (or not) properly. There's more too it then what you're seeing.


Yet when you pull someones hair when having them bent over behind those closed doors, it's STILL actually happening. You might dress up and play make believe, but let's get one thing clear here. The "physical actions" which are enjoyed are still very real. The terms and conditions under which it happens is also real.

They can also be enjoyed outside of the door, provided you communicate with people and discuss things even if you're not "pretending". Either way, the actions still happen. And it's always real. The only thing that isn't real is whatever "characters" or "story" you're playing out. Of which can enhance (or kill) the mood. etc.

The "play" affects our other interactions even if you don't mean/intend it. Reverse logic also applies. If someone learns to handle more in one area, they carry it over to the other.

MisterAshmodai​(dom male) • Mar 3, 2021

Everything we do affects everything around us. That hardly means we cannot control that effect; its influence, or where it manifests most acutely.
I suppose it depends on the discipline we wield, the efforts we put into developing ourselves, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
It would hardly be fitting, downright irresponsible to engage in any form of play without devoting the proper thought to it; ensuring that you can provide safety for your sub.
Perhaps, not so much for grabbing someone’s hair and bending them over; but for something like suturing, or role play to revisit prior traumatic abuse, or removing and consuming a part of your sub; these are not practices you enter into without an intimate familiarity with yourself and your partners.
That is not to say that it does not happen, but to make a statement of certainty in this regard is unwarranted.

Taramafor​(sub male) • Mar 3, 2021

I put that behind everything I do. At all times. What's more I never shy away from any topic. Regardless of location/environment. I challenge everything. Because no matter what ones personal problems are, it always affects others. And no excuse or complaint excuses ignorance.

Awareness above all else. It creates honesty. And without honesty there is no trust.

Perhaps that elaborates on where I'm coming from. very stressful when someone is close minded (who will of course be in denial). But a loooot easier when someone is open minded. The former forces your hand and stressful communication. The later might not even need a talk at all because they have the awareness/observation skills already.

It's really nice when someone already homes in on your wants/needs just because you're always specific/clear and they are. Avoid generalised labels and be specific in all things without using labels and it goes a long long way. It avoids misinterpretations/assumptions. And ensures stability/certainty (which also ensures it keeps sanity intact). Some people are ready for it, some aren't.

MisterAshmodai​(dom male) • Mar 3, 2021

Agreed