Devotedsub(sub female){His}
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3 years ago •
Mar 11, 2021
The biggest thing is here is that the poster meant no harm at all or had any malicious intent, etc... When using the terminology. It is just what is what most use when referring to when the relationship isn't in person. What should be used ? Long distance relationship, Long distance dynamic vs in person relationship or dynamic? Honestly, I don't see it as being any different than saying in real life and online, it is only terminology and and as Virginie said, the intention behind what was meant when using the terminology is what should be significant here. Not really understanding the need to take offense to this. Someone else could easily not appreciate another term being used.
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Online now
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dollMaker(dom male)
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3 years ago •
Mar 11, 2021
I said I found it offensive, not that the opening poster had intended to offend, and whether you understand that offence or not is irrelevant.
By the inclusion of the word real, that by its use implies that anything not in the physical world is not real, is fake, has no value. Surely that isn't that hard to understand. |
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Devotedsub(sub female){His}
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3 years ago •
Mar 11, 2021
No Sir ,dollmaker, it isn't irrelevant. Everyone has a right to take things as they wish, but everyone has a different view on terminology. It is only terminology, and wasn't meant to offend, so that is the important part. And no where did the poster state that anything not in the physical world has no value. You are drawing conclusions and the definition that I posted says nothing about nothing in the physical world having no value either. It is the way you are perceiving the words. Again, it wasn't meant in an offending way, so not sure why it matters. I am all for online dynamics. I'm in one and very happy with my Master. I didn't take it that way, nor did anyone else. Again, we go back to perception of the reader and the meaning behind what was posted. You chose to put meaning behind words that aren't there.
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Virginie(sub female){lcpw}
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3 years ago •
Mar 11, 2021
Semantics. The idea that one thing is defined by the presentation of its perceived opposite is one of many ways one can choose to have a wild hair up their ass.. The implication that calling any thing- any noun- thereby idea one thing means that anything that is not the thing being discussed and defined is negative is just silly.
I’m not saying that what we label things is not important- it CAN be very important, but getting this bent seems like a person who just wants to get bent. When I used to try to force myself to say physical world it never felt right. I can’t even recall now- was this a post about semantics? |
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Evashine(dom female)
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3 years ago •
Mar 11, 2021
Good question to ask, nuli wrote: i never understood the online only relationship honestly (not judging because while not for me it what works for others). Online is great to meet people but i need real time. the peace one gets at kneeling at someone's feet. serving them making them happy. to me it seems strange to say online only, like how do you know they did what you requested and how do you punish ?
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sandrua(dom male)
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3 years ago •
Mar 12, 2021
As the world is in this state,
Online is the best way to subjugate certain cravings, I do believe that for now we have to limit ourself online.
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Taramafor(sub male)
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3 years ago •
Mar 12, 2021
Both
That said I'm very wary of anyone using online as a form of escapism. Focus on having a good time, yes, but we're still people behind the screens. There's nothing to lose in being honest. You risk everything with an inability to give straight answers. Logic is simple really. Awareness is what leads to safety and fun. Know the situation you're in, be prepared for what might come later. Pretend it's "just a game" when someone clearly has concerns then you're turning a blind eye to reality. Peoples mental well being is nothing to toy with. Well, there's fun honest and aware ways of doing that. But you know what I mean. Just be upfront and honest about things. Have fun with whatever you're doing, physical or online, but NEVER and I mean NEVER use it as an excuse to avoid responsibility for your own real actions. If you're bringing your trust issues online and pretend it doesn't exist while trying to play me for a fool, then that's the persons real issues still being brought online. Likewise, if someone is a confident person that makes things happen easily, they can be an easy going online roleplay that makes online interactions very easy. One of those people is more likely to be honest with you. The person on the left complaining about fun COULD be having it right now. If they were more considerate of other peoples thoughts/opinions and didn't make snap judgements. The person on the right doesn't keep secrets or acts like things are black or white, nor do they "escape". They enjoy the fun roleplay yet will talk to me like a person when I'm human. And the fun posts keep coming. The main issue is the "desperation". Though if someone has concerns and wants to talk about a topic it can seem like that. But it could as easily be the reverse. Which is where communication comes into play. Something a number of IC people fail to do enough of. I'll roleplay with someone that can talk to me and hold a conversation. But anyone that's not even happy with their real selves is a warning flag. At that point one of two things happen. Either it's addressed in the interest of long term safety, sanity and happiness. Or if they refuse to be upfront and honest with me, I'll just move on. Because fuck a repeat of past online mistakes when people were blind which got people hurt and even cost lives. And that is not a metaphor. Long story short even when online safety first. I'll only need to talk about it if someone shows the signs/flags of escapism. Or otherwise assumes. A good number of people online will communicate if needed (and even admit their flaws). But if someone bullshits me and doesn't get my side of the story and never asks, I'm done with them. I got more respect for people that talk down on me yet want to understand, which defuses drama and leads to good things quickly because understanding each other does that. You just can't do that with someone that doesn't try to be understanding. Oddly enough I worked things out with someone online recently. They were doing the deaf ears tings before (which will 100% of the time make things worse due to not understanding each other). They mentioned they're being less nice. And I say this is a GOOD thing and even approve. Because it means they can FACE situations now even if they have to be human and not perfect. Some concerns got addressed. And we're all together and shit. There was this concern about seeing others and such (yea, if you got concerns like that IRL, it's online too), but we talked things out. I got my own bad past experiences too. We all do. But it doesn't have to be the present or future. Basically, peoples pasts tend to hold them back. More so online probably. At the same time, with online roleplay being a controlled environment, it also helps to serve for exploring more. And thus a more open mind online can lead to a more open mind in real life as well. Then people enjoy more things in real life then enjoy more things online. More you keep exploring and doing more, more you find out how to make things more fun. On the other hand, if someone is sheltered and a shut in and hardly interacts with people and only hides in an online home/cave or something, then that will of course result in a lack of imagination overall. Do less, less to work with. Do more, more to work with. It's simple enough logic. I used to be an introvert online in the past. Then I basically went "Fuck judgement" and got out there and been happier ever since. If someone judges you online they will judge you in real in life. And it's BECAUSE they judge in real life that they'll judge online. Some people can be talked into being understanding. Some are closed minded and then some. Which is still possible, unless they block communication. Even then you might be able to find work arounds. All depends really. I sort things out because I follow a simple creed. Prevent assumptions. Get the full story. Make sure people are responsible for what they do. Honesty at any cost. The ends always justify the means. The biggest complication is when people don't give straight answers. If you ever been in a situation where being kept in the dark has caused mental instability, you'll know why that's important. I don't need to know every little detail. But I do need to know if I ask. Otherwise I wouldn't have asked. |
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Boetius(dom male)
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3 years ago •
Mar 12, 2021
dollMaker wrote: I said I found it offensive, not that the opening poster had intended to offend, and whether you understand that offence or not is irrelevant.
By the inclusion of the word real, that by its use implies that anything not in the physical world is not real, is fake, has no value. Surely that isn't that hard to understand. Perhaps you should come to an understanding of the terms ‘imply’ and ‘infer’. Your inference is not necessary the last word on what someone may or may not have intended to imply. So why highjack a thread with your misplaced sensitivities? |
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barefootVegas(sub male)
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3 years ago •
Mar 14, 2021
Curious about online
I am glad you posted this because as I read ads and blogs more and more I see Cyber Masters and Sub via Skype. My only experience was in person years ago and wanting to jump back in because I miss it immensely.
My curiosity is wondering how effective online can be and I suppose the only way is to try it. I could see it as a way to initially get to know a Master (and be a potential sub) sort of a test drive, which could carry some benefits for a better IRL down the road. But, I’m curious, what methods do experienced Dons utilize to make a sub be owned? |
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shahh
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3 years ago •
Mar 14, 2021
dollMaker wrote: I find the use of IRL offensive. In 'Real' Life. Online is REAL, it is just as valid, as the physical world. I know I am Canute standing in the waves here, but using 'physical world' to me is better and does not devalue or disrespect those who stay, or are mainly online.
I am experienced in both mediums, I value both equally, they are both enjoyable, fulfilling but different. I understand and respect that many need hands on physical stimulus, and nothing via online will work for them, but it gets very tiring and annoying when so many wade into these types of threads and piss all over those who have happy, healthy, balanced online dynamics. Its common to read that online is fantasy, role playing and dungeons and dragons BS. That D/s or M/s, kink in general can't be done online. These gatekeepers telling everyone this loudly, closing doors to possible interesting and fun encounters for others. This is 2021 and the online medium allows a lot, sure there are numerous things that can only be done in person, but there is so much that can also be done via the online medium. Stating your preference is fine in my book, but telling everyone that your view is the only valid way, well that's rude and disrespectful, no mater where that comes from. This April it will be three years since SAvida and I went from friends to more, and we have never done physical world. In my experience, what we have transcends anything I have had in the physical world so far, and I have a lot of physical world experience. The meeting of our minds, souls has been and still is wonderful. Did I miss something? I read nowhere in the previous responses to yours anyone "piss all over" an online dynamic. The responses had all been respectful and conversation up until yours. You labelled them "gatekeepers"...but that's exactly what you are doing in this response. You're free to label your dynamics whatever you wish and value them in whatever way you choose. For many, online is fantasy and roleplaying so please stop devaluing that need that many people have. You stated..." telling everyone that your view is the only valid way, well that's rude and disrespectful, no mater where that comes from. " I would encourage you to reflect upon your words sir. |
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