Why does it hurts?

Why does it hurts?

lizh​(sub female) • Mar 16, 2021

The man who said he owned me, and was my dominate, he didn't treat me any good.

The background for me, is hardly any. But I gave in to this, he, showing up and he left me always . It could be in the middle of it. Just like that- gone. To the next time he came and ordered me. It was what this was all about for him, tough he said that "I only care for your pleasure."

I was fascinated over all things he said to me from day 1. What does he get that from? I wondered. Who did he think he are? Some one that can read my mind?

He said what I wanted. He said that I wanted to be raped. That I liked that. That was what i needed, he said.

The last time we had contacted I told him about my bad memory and he said things like "Did you like that?" something shit like that.

The point is, even if he treatment me badly it still hurts when he disappeared. Even if that possible couldn't been my fault he was like this. Even if I don't want to talk to him anymore. Never. It's still so strange that it's so painful . The pain that saying why and what.

FloraDragon​(dom male){Roaming Wi} • Mar 16, 2021

Ouch, I feel for you - there are people out there who have no respect for the individual. Some of these people leave bitter tastes and bad memories tarnishing the lifestyle for others - and making any lasting future connection for the victim difficult to develop. The pain and memories will remain it is how you use them to move forward as you.

The path is never direct or easy, we will have obstacles on the way, we will carry our precious vulnerabilities with us, we will trip, misplace our footing and fall. At that point it is what makes us as individuals; we can let the river of life sweep us away as we grasp and struggle for breaths or we can cling to stone the and climb back up and take the next footstep.

I was repressed for many many years by my partner - do I have feelings for her yes, I have good and bad memories. I am now living with my new partner and submissive. I carry around the past and sometimes think of those years, then think to the exciting future, I make the life experiences work for me rather than control me.

But if life was easy where would the adventures be?

lizh​(sub female) • Mar 16, 2021

I'm happy for you that find your new partner and submissive.

I'm thinking after reading what you said, that there is hope to focusing about what is now.

The pain that life doesn't let us came away with, my experience is that the pain makes us to concentrate.

I read about a women who had lost one of her nearest, been to the funeral- and when she comes home her flower in the kitchen was flourished, in a beautiful red color. She described that like she had a blood transfusion. She needed it.

Life always have hard things around us, and that makes us see things we wouldn't if it always was easy.

Martin Scorsese, the famous movie director, says "There is no such thing as simple. Simple is hard."

But there is hope! Thank you for your answer.

Re: Why does it hurts?

Boetius​(dom male) • Mar 16, 2021

It appears that he purposely applied certain manipulative techniques to get your emotional state moving up and down in order to bond you very closely to him. I have done this myself with a particular woman, and as I was doing it I would say, " H****, I am playing with your emotions now." Invariably her response with be, "I know, but it feels so good." To your question - he let you emotionally crash by leaving you.

Zedland​(dom male) • Mar 16, 2021

The problem is we are not rational beings. You know he played with you, made you care, and then discarded you when he got bored. None of that knowledge helps because you were invested on some level. And now those feelings have been ripped away.

So it is okay to hurt. Because after it passes you will have learned and grown. You will be better. He will still be...something.

lizh​(sub female) • Mar 16, 2021

Yes, he did made me feel good. He said he tough that I needed a leash. Maybe is he still out there. Because he always came back. But now I've blocked him on FB, where he did always find me. He was disconnected on kik, I sow he is connected there again, but haven't been contacted me. He had me under his control, totally. But I don't think you can be controlled if you don't let him. And I don't want to do this anymore . I know I said that before also, but .. I don't want it.

He did the same thing all the time lately months. Maybe he didn't knew more than that. I don't know , I'm not sure he knew himself . He was kind of crazy.

If the bond is about being constantly abandoned he might get someone else. Maybe he was easily bored person. Maybe he just don't care about other than himself. An idiot simple as that!

Zedland​(dom male) • Mar 16, 2021

Yes he is. Good for you.

No one can control you if you don't let them you're right. He only had the power you gave him and now you have it back so it is as if he doesn't exist. You can move on. And remember the greatest revenge is living well.

lizh​(sub female) • Mar 16, 2021

I couldn't message you because I don't have this premium thing.

adjudicator • Mar 16, 2021

Where abouts do u live ? Adjudicator

lizh​(sub female) • Mar 16, 2021

I'm a Swede.