Is adultery a kink for many people ?

PERITUS ARCUS​(dom male) • Dec 17, 2020

A religious statement is often more a statement of the obvious. Just because its in the bible or other such work of fiction, doesnt mean an aeithiest doesnt see a merit in a statement or a concept. Its a comment on the goodness of a person or the badness. It has nothing to do with a god or a devil.
Many people are hypocritical hence making judgements of others when in there own way, they are visibly as bad or worse in one way or another.

Adultary believes a union between two is a perfection not to be sullied.

The dilemma is eased if both parties consent to live outside this supposedly god blessed condition. So is one party offended. Do families and friends go batshit because their moral code is broken even though the two important people choose to do so.

The answer is that its their life and they should choose to do pretty much whatever they choose providing it doesnt stray into what their society deems as criminal. For me that would be such things as child abuse and many other things as well.

Where it becomes sticky is where one of the two decides to stray and the other does not know.

For me, it isnt a problem. I have never been jealous. A partner has my full support if they wish to do so. Furthermore, they are free to tell me or not. I have no issue.

I am ok with someone playing away as the phrase goes. I generally ask if the partner knows or not.... but its thier adult decision and I choose to accept it or not as much as they choose to tell or not.

Anyone that does follow this route also lnows the ramifications. Again, up to them to decide.

Those ramifications may affect only the rmtwo of them but it can also be a lot wider. However, it is still the individuals choice. They choose to make the decision. They also choose to accept and deal with outcomes however limited or wide they may be.

A belief in god/s to me just shows mans inability to float through space ion a cold lump of rock or a beautiful lump of rock. Half full half empty outlook.

Religious belief is just a species comforter to fill the gaps we dont understand . There are souls out there who still believe the earth is flat or dinos didnt really exist.... its smoke and mirrors and stupidity.

Adultery....faithfullness.... just tools to bind a herd animal. Why dies one have to have a wife. Why dies one have to forsake all others.... why is it so heinous if you fuck someone else.

Its stupidity really.

I guess I just dont believe in these celestial entities supposedly watching our backs.
I agree certain rules are sensible and we articulate them in much more complex ways than any other species but at the end of the day, our unfounded belief in gods and devils just makes us one of the stupid species on the planet too.

TalentedOptimist​(dom male){open} • Dec 18, 2020

Without condoning or condemning. I'm saying that the answer is yes. But.... technically no.
Kink, by definition, is a sexual interest and/or practice that falls outside of the norm. Right?
At this point, casual sex, extramarital affairs, and adultery, in general, are played out in movies, shows, dating apps, and social practices.

Forbidden fruit will always tempt people no matter what the dynamic. From that perspective, I've only seen adultery as an act of betrayal or escape. Instead of a set type of kink.

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • Dec 18, 2020

no

BertThunderhorse • Jan 14, 2021

From a male standpoint, yes but, within reason .... such as watching scripted clips/movies.... unless you like prison.

BertThunderhorse • Jan 14, 2021

From a male standpoint, yes but, within reason .... such as watching scripted clips/movies.... unless you like prison.

PERITUS ARCUS​(dom male) • Mar 25, 2021

No reason. I am aethiest but hedging my bets. I might be wrong. I also like the english language and a lot of phrases trace to religios based language. Therecare many trees of different fruit. Just some limit what they pick

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Mar 25, 2021

PERITUS ARCUS​(dom male)

"Adultery believes a union between two is a perfection not to be sullied."
(Not exactly. More so, it is that a marriage is a serious commitment. Entering into that commitment two people make certain promises. Cheating is breaking the promise. Plenty of people, I suspect even a few atheists, cheat on their partners, steal from their bosses, lie about any number of things. Calling it adultery is a nice way to separate it from what it really is. Acting without integrity. Acting without honor. Breaking your commitment to someone and not caring about the impact that violation will have on them.)

"The dilemma is eased if both parties consent to live outside this supposed God blessed condition. So is one party offended? Do families and friends go batshit because their moral code is broken even though the two important people choose to do so. The answer is that it's their life and they should choose to do pretty much whatever they choose providing it doesn't stray into what their society deems as criminal. For me, that would be such things as child abuse and many other things as well."

(You're working so hard here to make this about God. But it isn't. It's about choice and those who a- choose to make a commitment or a vow and b)- break it often and want to call it something innocent like kink. Because if we call it kink then gosh darn it he couldn't help himself. Sure right.)

"Where it becomes sticky is where one of the two decides to stray and the other does not know."
( Which most of the responses have already said.)

"A belief in God to me just shows man's inability to float through space ion a cold lump of rock or a beautiful lump of rock. Religious belief is just a species comforter to fill the gaps we don't understand. There are souls out there who still believe the earth is flat or dinos didn't really exist.... its smoke and mirrors and stupidity."

(You know I am good with atheists who know what they're talking about. You, on the other hand, seem desperate to defend yourself to a group of people who didn't ask and really don't care. So why bother beating that dead horse? For someone who doesn't believe in kink shamming, you are certainly ok with faith shamming. )

"Adultery....faithfulness.... just tools to bind a herd animal. Why does one have to have a wife? Why does one have to forsake all others.... why is it so heinous if you fuck someone else. It's stupidity really."

(No. It is a choice. And we are all allowed to believe what we choose to believe and invest in what we choose to invest in. Yet you are the only one calling everyone else names. People who choose to be monogamous have their reasons. And you pissing all over that is really what is stupid. I suspect that your profound negativity is all about you failing in the past. As you said, You did the marriage thing and I'm guessing badly and won't do it again. So don't. But you don't get to shame and disrespect people who value that relationship and value fidelity and honesty.)

(I'm always amazed at people who post on kink sites.
You have the "everything has to be a kink because don't no one tell me I'm screwed up" people.
And the "don't you dare shame my kink BUT I'll judge you and trash talk your vanilla sensibilities all I want." )

(If you are so happy and comfy with your atheism why beat us over the head with it post after post?)
( If you're so open and at peace with your don't care who fucks who in your little crowd perspective why step on people who don't do it that way?)

(Perhaps Christians or monogamous folks are just stupid in your eyes PERITUS but I'm sure you'd have to be a whole lot smarter about any of this at all for us to care.)

God Bless
H*

Kelpi • Mar 25, 2021

Yes I have seen it where the guys I know get off not just one the women they are with but with the idea of cheating on the wife. One guy I worked with decades ago was married to a goddess she was as close to perfect as you could get but he cheated on her at every time he could. It was not like she was not giving as much as he could handle but the fact that it was just his thing. To this day I still cant see what he got out of it but that is just a kink I don't go for.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Mar 27, 2021

Kelpi
1 day ago • 03/25/2021 7:04 pm " Yes I have seen it where the guys I know get off not just one the women they are with but with the idea of cheating on the wife. One guy I worked with decades ago was married to a goddess she was as close to perfect as you could get but he cheated on her at every time he could. It was not like she was not giving as much as he could handle but the fact that it was just his thing. To this day I still cant see what he got out of it but that is just a kink I don't go for."
.............

Kelpi there is a lot of research into this type of thing that shows that these are men (but I'm sure some women do it as well) that suffer from low self-esteem they cheat for the validation. (not the thrill) Every day they need to be desired by others to make them feel worthy and it is not unusual for them to have amazing partners/spouses. The other aspect is impulse control issues which are often seen as a part of the cheating in these same people.

........

A utilities guy walked into my office for directions one day. He had on his gear and hard hat and I joked, "Now look at you all ready to do the job." 10 minutes later he is trying as hard as he can to get me to meet him for dinner. He had a girlfriend or wife I don't remember, and had some weak excuse about why it would be ok for us to date. I said no several times before he left. He was cute enough but his trying to convince me was almost pleading. I was sure it had nothing to do with me and then I came across the research and thought. "Ohhhhhhhh. OK."

Even the most compelling excuses are still excuses. And you will never know at the time what is really going on with that person.

Kiyattle​(switch male) • Mar 29, 2021

Not personally, for me its a massive turn off actually, I'm a serial monogamist, and fidelity is one of the most appealing thing about sexual relationships for me.

But i can see why people would be into it, it just aint my thing.