What was the triggering moment that you realized BDSM was for you? What led to that event?

What was the triggering moment that you realized BDSM was fo

dominantcoffeecake • Mar 29, 2021

For me, it was when we got a dog for the family. I found that I would do behavior training with the dog in times of frustration, especially if it was about my wife. When I was teaching him to jump and stay commands for food, a thought came to mind; I wondered if I could do this with my wife. I instantly aroused and could not stop fantasizing about controlling her, telling her what to do, punishing her if she did not obey. Memories of my ex came back, the relationship where she liked to be controlled and dominated. That was one of the most satisfying relationships I had across the board. It was not until after reading definitions, personal stories, and explanations did I realize she was a submissive. I realized at that moment the type of relationship we had and why it was successful until I ended it out of pressure from a not accepting community. She was my sub, and I did not realize what I had.

It has now been almost a month, and that fantasy has not escaped me, and I am fully convinced this life is for me.

Kiyattle​(switch male) • Mar 29, 2021

Hmm, I don't know if it was a single defining moment, but it mostly started when I was a teenager and got my first lap top. Being the hormonal shitstorm that most teenagers are, I used it more for porn then for word processing like my parents intended. I really liked the outfits of cosplay and Dom women, I just thought they were really aesthetic, like a visual representation of power and sexual confidence that I lacked as an inexperienced teenager.

That was part of it, but It also turned me on to FemDom, (pun very much intended) something about assertive women just really did it for me, and not just sexually, it just seemed like, I don't know, safe? Like it seemed like if I were the guy I wouldn't ever be in a position where I would be made uncomfortable, like emotionally.

From there I've just grown to love basically everything kinky. Kinky people are basically just sexual nerds, and I've always been a big fucking nerd.

L a r s​(dom male) • Mar 29, 2021

You may be part of the minority, that can pinpoint a specific instance where it snapped on.

As even a very young child, scenes with folks tied up where always much more exciting to me. Before any sexual awakening, let alone kink development, I enjoyed wrestling and tying up buddies. Dominance itself was really satisfying.

As I grew, I turned more and more towards dominance and bondage in intimate relationships. Hoping to find a special gal who enjoys me taking charge in the relationship, and particular in the bedroom.

Laylamini​(dom female) • Mar 29, 2021

I remember when I was in grade school, there was this boy in my class who would just follow me around like a lost puppy. I was always very shy and found it very hard to make friends, so I was amused by his odd blind devotion to me. I would throw my crayons around the schoolyard and make him fetch them for me. He always did. Fast forward a few years later, I'm in bed with my first real boyfriend and I just grabbed his hair and let out a "good boy" when he kissed my neck. It really weirded him out lmao.

BikerDan​(other male) • Mar 29, 2021

My turning point was a specific meeting with a big dominant skinhead who showed me what I was missing.
I was only 19 and I already had my fetishes of leather jackets, and shiny scally gear, but sex and kink was still pretty new to me.
I have always been a bit of a 'switch' and this skinhead peaked my interest and I decided to submit to him.
When he opened his door, I was literally dragged in, carried to the bedroom and thrown on the bed.
He had restraints, hoods, cuffs, rope and more.... he didn't undress me, just tied me up, moved things out the way to gain 'access' and shoved a lubed finger up my ass.
Without going into detail, he was bareback, aggressive and brutal, but I just 'melted' in his arms and loved every second of his onslaught (after the initial pain subsided) I even got sexually aggressive myself and that just turned him on more. I was tied up and fucked while he spat in my face and growled insults at me. My dick was so hard it was amazing.
When he'd finished (several hours later), he was gentle and caring and thanked me for letting him satisfy his inner beast. I was bruised, sore and exhausted and in total shock that I loved it so much I could hardly speak.
I have switched since then and been disappointed at the tops lack of brutality. I am mostly top now and always fondly remember my skinhead 'initiation' into BDSM.
My sadistic streak was added later by a masochistic sub I saw a few times over the years.
I'm not naturally dominant in civil life, but in the bedroom, I'm now a sadistic monster and love all areas of BDSM.