Separating Finance from play

yourbootsownme​(sub male) • Mar 31, 2021

@subtlehush, you said "There are many subs? How many do you know in real-time and personally?"

How many subs do I know personally and real-time (which I am assuming you mean face-to-face)? About forty, 80+% male because of where I meet them. All it takes is being active in your community, attending munches, etc. and making friends, some of which I kept when I moved across the country. Provided you live in an area where such a thing exists; I imagine there are many places where there is no easy-to-find, active community.

Mind you, I have friends I've known for about thirty years who I have NEVER met (that I first encountered through other hobbies, not kink-related, although a couple of those eventually turned out to be into the scene too and opened up to me about it). Maybe to you, the only way to know someone is to spend time with them face to face. I would wager I know more about a dozen of these friends than people who have known them for ten years and consider them close.

If your question related to how many subs do I know face-to-face who enjoy SOME aspect of finance in their submissive experience? That depends on how you want to define it. Are you ONLY talking cash? Are you ONLY taking about, say, over $500 at a time? I only know one who goes to that level (or says he does) on a regular basis. I have a feeling he exaggerates, for reasons I haven't bothered to uncover. If he wants to play the part, I'm happy enough to let him.

Probably a quarter of the subs I know face-to-face mix some level of finance into their play if you include gifts and small cash amounts. But it varies widely into how that is part of their scene. Some are just into spoiling their dominant with gifts because they get off on their happiness. Some like having their dominant buy themselves things on, say, their store credit card because it allows them to feel a lack of control, while at the same time they have built a level of trust where they know their dominant will never cross certain spoken or unspoken lines. (Building a level of trust is imperative, of course. I'd never suggest anyone do such things with people they don't know well). Or the things being bought will be used in their scene (clothes, toys, lingerie). And I know one in particular who enjoys tease and denial to the point that he will give (or promise to give, and follow through) to his Domme, just on the promise of being given permission to cum. And half the time he's hoping she'll deny him anyway once he's given what she wants. That's part of what he enjoys. He has said half of it is to feel powerless (and to carry that feeling of unsatisfied horniness with himself for hours or days), and half is because his Domme gets so aroused at the power and he craves seeing her in that state. The other half of his brain truly wants an orgasm and hopes the ruling goes that way.

Now, if you're talking about giving up financial control entirely? I don't know any, ,not in person and not online. There are probably a couple out there, but I haven't found any (not that I'm looking). I've been approached by Dommes (whether they were authentic or not, I don't know) who allude to that kind of thing, which I have zero interest in and the whole idea seems foolhardy and stupid to me. The kind of thing someone reads about in a short piece of erotica and it turns them on. But in practice? Uh, no....if I had to guess I'd say nearly anyone who has ever tried that has been taken for everything they have by a scam artist, or simply lived to regret it terribly.

As for the subs (or those who put themselves out there as subs) that I know online only? There are about twenty that I have known for a LONG time and feel confident that what I am told is honest and accurate, which I would put on the same level as those I know in person. The percentage of them is a little lower I'd say, 15% that mix finance into their scenes.

How many have I encountered who claim to **want** to use finance in their play? Countless. And some of those will sadly be taken advantage of despite the warnings I offer; and some of THOSE only want to include finance because they have been convinced through social media that it is necessary, some kind of rule, etc. And others already know their fantasy is one thing, but to put it into reality is something they don't want too do. They're the ones who approach supposed Dommes with offers to send money or be a "pig" and will never send a dime. Many would argue in that respect they aren't truly subs at all, they just want to play at being submissive. I don't judge people so that's up to them.

Oh, and as for "Female subs do not pay for attention."

From my experience, a FAR smaller percentage of them see that as something they want mixed in with kink, in any way, and if they do it seems to be on a smaller scale. But I can categorically say, from my own personal discussions, your blanket statement is inaccurate.

Re: Separating Finance from play

sissyboidoinny • Mar 31, 2021

You are not prudish at all. I love to give myself fully to another person and have paid when necessary. My dream would be to be owned totally by a live in Dom. I am Bi and like M, F, T, Q, etc. As a single divorced white man I also enjoy black and yellow too. Just being a sex slave is all that matters. I live in Dallas, TX.

LeashCalledLove​(sub male){__________} • Mar 31, 2021

Just beautiful.

I wish I had come across a post like MrFulmen's in my early forays into kink. Thankfully, I never got the hook in me, but I've chased wild geese.

FullCanadian​(switch male){MissB} • Mar 31, 2021

Followed closely by cis het white women and the Land Of Kink Dispensing Doms. Looking forward to the expose there, but I fear you'd piss off too many with hard truth there.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Apr 7, 2021

yourbootsownme​(sub male) yeah your last response went way off the rails. I didn't read past the first paragraph. I stand by my response.

It really is simple yourboots.
Don't make bad choices and you won't be offended by those who recognize it.

SageFlame​(sub female) • Apr 8, 2021

Like water and a suntan?