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A step too far - permanent chastity - celibacy

outsideleft​(other male)
5 years ago • May 24, 2018
outsideleft​(other male) • May 24, 2018
Hello Byrdie,

Thanks for the interest.

I have learnt, to be more patient - I was very new then and fell into the first potential D/s - threw myself in actually - this was all my responsibility.

I have learnt that I am more complex than just submissive - am now exploring switching - I have a sense of my own needs fulfilment, that may be too difficult to achieve as sub only.

I have too deeply ingrained sense of equality to consider myself as anything but - and will not spend time with others who consider me otherwise.

I have learnt to prioritise getting to know and be known, before offering any more than social connection.


I do love obeying another, but want to feel cared for...in ways I interpret as care - I will not neglect myself again, as I did last time.

I am focusing now, on connecting socially as a priority - letting go of hopes, dreams, fantasies of the outcomes of social connection on the understanding that social connection will lead to other things, but in focusing on social connections, what comes can be whatever it is...and so, come as a surprise every time.

I learnt, during the final month of the previous relationship, that if I act, forcing myself if necessary - graciously, that I come out of difficult things feeling good about myself for acting so - eg: allowing others to have the last word, not trying to force what I think should happen, not judging the other but focusing upon my own actions and using the outcome of that focus to guide my present and future actions.

I find it difficult, in difficult situations to judge while keeping my heart open, to name call and keep my heart open, to resent and keep my heart open and I like keeping my heart open...So I learnt to focus on acting graciously and was able to keep my heart open by not doing those things, while the relationship crumbled and by its end, because my heart was kept open, all the hopes and dreams i had for that person drained out of my heart without breaking it...by draining out those things, my when we walked away from each other, my heart had become lighter.

My heart was broken open - allowing the old to leave and being available for new things to come.

I leant many things in the pain I experienced - the pain, as stated by Rumi, helped to '...break my heart open...' Open for others to enter it...

o
Silver​(sub female){not intere}
5 years ago • May 24, 2018
oh wow im sorry and yes i get to be very vocal at times....but let me just state this..
the basis of having a relationship with a Dominant of any kind is that there is a sexual tone to it. There is a myriad of stuff that turn all of us on sexually but it seems that absolutely NO sexual release makes the relationship no worth it.
SportySpice​(switch male)
5 years ago • Jun 14, 2018
SportySpice​(switch male) • Jun 14, 2018
Real permanent chastity I'm sure would be a very hard pill to swallow so to speak. Many may fantasize about that arrangement, but do not fully grasp the gravity of its meaning. Then there is the symbolism of what that means. You're giving yourself up for servitude and I think it's just a beautiful idea.

I don't think that arrangement is for everyone, but it can be done successfully.