Thoughts on Fetlife

testosteroneandtacos • Jun 22, 2021

I just got on over there. It has meetups, which is what I am looking for, so that's good. However it is a little "pay me bitches and go my onlyfans" heavy. A lot of showing off, pics, vids, and promotion of the hottest profiles to keep the beast engaged. Feels more splashy, ego, commercial.

knicks33 • Jun 22, 2021

find the groups you are interested in. . . and then contact those who have profiles you find interesting. . . estimate that for every 10 you contact about one will reply. . . because they are receiving at least ten times as many contacts.

HEAVEN'S STARCHILD​(switch female) • Jun 22, 2021

I was referred to fetlife by another kinkster on fb. I have met interesting people and then there are those who think that theyre doms and no where near to giving me what i need. Alot are 20 somethings who feel they know about domination when tall they want is to put another rung on their ladder. Which doesn't help my trust issues with men. I did meet my sub on fetlife and not only are we d/s, we are pretty good friends which is a plus. I do see him becoming a dom if he wishes to do so. One thing for sure, he has helped me on certain aspects (especially with trust) and he doesn't even know it. im blessed to be able to be part of his life as well as have his trust in me.

Cort​(other female) • Jun 22, 2021

I've had more luck as far as meeting contacts (munches, workshops, etc) on Fetlife, but I have never viewed it as anything more than a resource. I typically ignore K&P as it's become less kink and more porn. I do find there are not many people from my area here on The Cage. I haven't been very active in the forums here, but I'm thinking I should change that. I'm inspired to be here more!

Bunnie • Jun 23, 2021

I like FetLife for finding local events and groups. The majority of the people I interact with on there are people I’ve met in-person. TheCage, I see as a beautiful community of support, on a global scale, and a great gentle stepping-stone for newbies to learn at a pace that feels more like the shallow end, rather than feeling like being thrown in the deep end of the shark tank.

I agree that FetLife can seem like it’s only focused on wannabe porn-sex, however, this place can seem like it’s only focused on fifty-shades dating. Both places have their pros and cons. I love them both, because I have come to utilise them both in a way that suits me well. In-person social, and on-line social. Win-win

AstonNC • Jun 23, 2021

Fetlife is to the BDSM community what aff is to the swinging community.....it's a *hit show. It's a place where wanna be kinksters (and some real ones) go to express their narcissism, and promote their onlyfans professional content. 90% of the site is masturbatory material.....call it the Facebook of the kink community where people go to get "likes" and social validation.
Utter waste of time if you asked me.

CSI • Jun 23, 2021

Similar to what has been said already, great for finding events and people in your area, not so great for finding actual BDSM practitioners (or those that say they do, but tend to define it differently). I appreciate the fact that you can now block people you don't know from sending you messages, which has reduced the amount of copied and pasted messages and the insta-dom "surrender to me now" instances in my inbox.

DangerouslySafe​(sadist male) • Jun 24, 2021

I would agree and I also like this site's format as well as the general quality of the people more than at Fetlife. However, I have noticed events, munches and such that I have found interesting and when time and my situation will allow then I will get involved with some of those...but outside of that I don't have much use for Fetlife so far...

Miki​(masochist female) • Jun 24, 2021

While Fetlife appears to be a bit rougher around the edges for those not seeking that which it seems to specialize in, (I have been on there but didn't really stay long at all) and this site seems much easier to participate in aside from looking for events, meet-ups, and as someone wrote on the first page of this thread "one-handed typing" --

Yeah, YOU, @DrWakko!!!

[JK-- I "liked" the post but for general knowledge for all-- i type with 2 fingers.]

--Anyway bear in mind, one will find creeps, pervs, and other, assorted 2 legged reptiles here, there, or even on "mainstream" social media.

Likeavirgin​(sub female) • Jun 24, 2021

Had a perspective dom sign me up for fetlife, to keep an eye on local events. Besides being easier to meet people....I don't see a plus side one bit, and I really want to delete it.