| Kitzer(sub female) |
3 years ago •
Aug 1, 2021
There's always going to be people looking to take advantage. Male or female, it doesn't matter.
The important thing is that you find yourself in a situation that you enjoy. So if a domme is demanding something of you that you don't like and she's not giving you anything in return then don't deliver. Being a chore slave isn't necessary. |
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Online now
Sasa(dom female)
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3 years ago •
Aug 1, 2021
We are all unique in what we want and need. I don’t have to understand other people, no matter what gender or on what side of the slash they think they are. When it comes to dominants, well … for me some look like a caricature to be painted out of a silly comic book, but this is what I think and it tells something about me, not them.
Why do they act like that? Who cares, it is their way, maybe they are inspired by porn, they are inexperienced and read a „how-to-be book” too much. It bores me to death and they are not my people, that’s all. I met a bunch of men who had the idea a domme doesn’t fall in love, would never kiss, should be cruel and always in control, always be self-confident, or I am not a real dominant. What is that for an idea? Life is not a play, that's what some learned from a dominatrix. We are women too. We like flowers, we get lost, we cry. We don't wear latex or leather the whole day, some not at all. Some like jeans and aren’t interested in high heels and don't dominate 24/7 or want to micromanage a man. For me, the point is, when I can’t be me and only me and the boy is disappointed because I am vulnerable and strip as much as I expect it from him… what can I say, then it is not my one. Roleplay is not life but works brilliantly for hookups. Casual can be fun but at the end, it is a scam and endless boring after a while. It leaves us feeling empty when we crave intimacy. To be touched. Looked at. Admired. Smiled at. Laugh with someone. Feel safe, yes all the little things count also for dominant people. Feel like someone's really got you. And still, seems dominant people, it is true for men and woman, don't do that openly. That's what I learned from newbies and maybe that is the reason why some change into a caricature. I know more than one domme who prefers to be single cause they think they lose control. Well, we all want different things in our life, and that is ok too. |
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| acupcake(sub female) |
3 years ago •
Aug 3, 2021
I don't know if this is relevant or not, but I actually like doing chore stuff and pleasing. I don't want to be a taker and I actually loving cooking. I may be wrong but I doubt anyone dominant will be thrilled with a partner who just sits around waiting for attention....
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| Closetedfreak |
3 years ago •
Aug 15, 2021
Re: Discussing Dominant Women personals LittleBB wrote: Hello!
I have only been checking this website now and then and I usually am not an engaging person but I decided to just try to figure out this doubt I had. So I've seen alot of personals asking for "chore slaves" , specially on "Dominant Women - Submissive Men" and I have a hard time understand why so common and what does the sub get out of this, I mean, is it a kink to just take care of a house? As I always feel the need to say, this is just speaking for myself. I have genuine submissive desires. This means I am aroused by a female taking control and giving demands. My experience is limited but I've tried to introduce this into my vanilla relationships at times. A woman who doesn't really understand (which I totally get why) often demands I do things they think I want them to demand for example "go down on me". Okay that's all good but you really haven't demonstrated control if you command me to do something I want to do. It's like demanding I eat ice cream. In a vanilla relationship I've never gone and cleaned a girl's kitchen. If a woman commands me to do something like this, and understands how to make me obey her commands, that's true control. That turns me on. I don't get aroused by cleaning. I do get aroused by being controlled. I hope that makes sense, because it doesn't to me and I'm the one stuck with these desires. |
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| Closetedfreak |
3 years ago •
Aug 15, 2021
Sasa wrote: We are all unique in what we want and need. I don’t have to understand other people, no matter what gender or on what side of the slash they think they are. When it comes to dominants, well … for me some look like a caricature to be painted out of a silly comic book, but this is what I think and it tells something about me, not them.
Why do they act like that? Who cares, it is their way, maybe they are inspired by porn, they are inexperienced and read a „how-to-be book” too much. It bores me to death and they are not my people, that’s all. I met a bunch of men who had the idea a domme doesn’t fall in love, would never kiss, should be cruel and always in control, always be self-confident, or I am not a real dominant. What is that for an idea? Life is not a play, that's what some learned from a dominatrix. We are women too. We like flowers, we get lost, we cry. We don't wear latex or leather the whole day, some not at all. Some like jeans and aren’t interested in high heels and don't dominate 24/7 or want to micromanage a man. For me, the point is, when I can’t be me and only me and the boy is disappointed because I am vulnerable and strip as much as I expect it from him… what can I say, then it is not my one. Roleplay is not life but works brilliantly for hookups. Casual can be fun but at the end, it is a scam and endless boring after a while. It leaves us feeling empty when we crave intimacy. To be touched. Looked at. Admired. Smiled at. Laugh with someone. Feel safe, yes all the little things count also for dominant people. Feel like someone's really got you. And still, seems dominant people, it is true for men and woman, don't do that openly. That's what I learned from newbies and maybe that is the reason why some change into a caricature. I know more than one domme who prefers to be single cause they think they lose control. Well, we all want different things in our life, and that is ok too. I often think the mistake people in the BDSM world make is not thinking some of the same rules apply as in the vanilla world. If a relationship is going to work there must be romance, communication, and both parties have to get what they want out of it, to a large extent. Men often think a Domme is supposed to cart wheel in the room and put on a show like in the porn they've seen. Dominant females think ignoring the man's desires is synonymous to being dominant. Both are wrong and headed for disappointment. The secret is, if you're lucky enough you can find someone whose desires match well enough you are both getting what you want out of it at the same time. |
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| LittleBB |
3 years ago •
Aug 15, 2021
Yes I can see the control part being an arousing thing, but I think that there is also a seductive way that a dominant woman can use to demand that control, chores included. And most personals don't give me the feeling of this seduction, of the arousal for both parties that happens when you control someone. It's a colder way of talking, more direct.
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I_am_the_Sea(sub male){One Day}
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3 years ago •
Aug 16, 2021
Well...you have to remember text is FRIGHTFULLY hard to imply context or convey body language. As such all you have are the words standing on their own merits.
I am sure the person writing thier message does not mean to come off cold or without feeling... But you just never can tell.... ~I_am_the_Sea |
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Sasa(dom female)
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3 years ago •
Aug 16, 2021
LittleBB wrote: Yes I can see the control part being an arousing thing, but I think that there is also a seductive way that a dominant woman can use to demand that control, chores included. And most personals don't give me the feeling of this seduction, of the arousal for both parties that happens when you control someone. It's a colder way of talking, more direct.
Why don't you ask dommes to answer your questions in a polite and not judgemental way? You have no experience at all and it is quite a way to go for you. That is fine and nothing bad about it. Why not following some dominant woman and read what they post here. How they answer others. And read a few adds of doms. Maybe you see what you didn't like and understand also there. |
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Sasa(dom female)
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3 years ago •
Aug 16, 2021
Closetedfreak wrote: Men often think a Domme is supposed to cart wheel in the room and put on a show like in the porn they've seen. Dominant females think ignoring the man's desires is synonymous to being dominant. Both are wrong and headed for disappointment. The secret is, if you're lucky enough you can find someone whose desires match well enough you are both getting what you want out of it at the same time. I don't know dommes like you describe them, but sure there are some and it is not something I haven't seen in doms. The point for me is let others do what it is right for them. There is not "the way of the dommes" as there is not one way in BDSM at all ... There are only individuals. If I want to understand why people are doing something I ask them directly to get an answer. Talking about them and assume whatever isn't the easiest way to understand. Your secret though... That's true yes. 
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| Closetedfreak |
3 years ago •
Aug 16, 2021
Didn't mean to overgeneralize, it just seems like a common mistake.
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