mrpokerman
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4 years ago •
Aug 31, 2020
I’d like to send a comment, Chatte, your so damn.....amazing! I would love to meet you!
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Online now
KinkySilverfox(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Sep 1, 2020
I think we all accept that dominant , alpha, male personalities like to assert themselves, let others know of their presence and can be perceived as predatory. But I would like to think that we are also all gentleman.
When contacting those we are interested in we should consider the 4 Ps Profile - Always read the profile and the title. If they are collared, use your head, If you are looking for a partner they are not going to be interested. Polite - Make your introduction polite. Sending them anything else just will not work. Patience - be patient, unless you are a clairvoyant , you have no idea when they will get around to reading your message. Philosophical (don't be a Prat) - if you do not get a response then accept the fact they are not interested. Don't hassle, berate or be obnoxious. It is not going to change anything. We are all looking for different things, If the submissive does not think they are a match, you are not going to change their minds. If you think you can, then I would question how much you know about the dynamic. |
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DeathRyder(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Sep 3, 2020
I run my life from the schools and academies I attended and graduated with honors in the military and also the coursework for my BS degree. Take care of the wants and needs of your troops and people that are in your charge . In return they will take care of you to the best of their abilities and do it happily
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simplylaura(sub female){djinni}
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4 years ago •
Sep 3, 2020
I frequently get messages from men who couldn't bother reading my profile that A. I'm owned and 2. a big ol' lesbian. It is amusing sometimes but mostly it's annoying. Sometimes I reply with snark and sometimes I try to give legitimate advice. But mostly I ignore.
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MrFulmen
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4 years ago •
Sep 3, 2020
Re: Too much noise? DjDom wrote: Y’all have the power and the upper hand when it comes to finding a Dom.
This suggests that you're badly misunderstanding women's experience in dating, and that misunderstanding is probably contributing both to your feelings of frustration and your difficulty in making a connection. It's cis men like us who have an outsized portion of power, and that imbalance is what makes dating dynamics such a mess. We face vastly lower risks of being harassed, stalked or assaulted. We don't get slut shamed in the same way if we're outed. That's why you see loads more cis dudes joining kinky dating sites and posting and responding to ads--it's because we have basically nothing to fear, and folks of all other genders have real, serious risks to contend with. Why do so many women not respond to you? Because they've already had some guy they said "no" to turn into a raging stalker. (Also because they don't owe you their attention, but that's a different tangent.) You say "You should talk to me because I'm a good guy!" but the raging stalker dude said exactly the same thing before he went ballistic. You can't just say it; you have to *show* that you're a good guy in the way you interact. And so long as you're talking as thought the mild inconveniences that cis men face in dating are a bigger deal to you than the much greater difficulties faced by everyone else... you don't come across looking like you're actually someone who gets it and is safe to open up to. |
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| J Low(sub female) |
4 years ago •
Sep 8, 2020
Thank you all for the post and replies. I am new here. I answer all messages even if it takes me a while most out of politeness. If someone is pushy, I back them off and if they can't take a hint, I've had to block a couple so far. I read their profile first. I am learning as I go along.
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Island girl(sub female){Yes owned.}
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4 years ago •
Sep 12, 2020
Collared, taken, in a relationship, none of these things seem to matter to a lot of people. Of all the places I've looked and been, The Cage has been the most respectful. Thank you for that! I get more trolls on F******k than anywhere else and that's just creepy. Guys with no profile, just a pic and a location, and I don't know how they found me.
I can say that if you just message me with a "hi there" isn't much of a conversation starter. Something like I read your blog post on "x" and wanted to know what you thought about "y" would get a lot more traction with me. INTJ here and small talk is not my forte or even interest. Engage my brain and then we'll talk! |
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| RTeacher(dom male) |
3 years ago •
Sep 15, 2021
I heard a man once say that you get to chose when you get to be when you wake up in the morning. Sorry to hear that there are men out there who have not found out that it is what I do that defines me as a person.
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I'mME
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3 years ago •
Sep 17, 2021
Rae Oldschool wrote: I am pretty new to the scene. I am still unsure about a lot of things and I am not afraid to admit to it. I do not have a photo up and I am not sure if I will put one up. BUt this blog is about too much noise and that is what I feel I am getting right now. I have to say that this is a very intimidating site for the new person. But sometimes you just have to dive right in. I am an intelligent woman and I am confident in myself and when I respond to a man who I tell, after I read his profile, that I am not the right fit and he gets upset it worries me about this site. He tells me that I do not understand trust and obedience and numerous other words. I feel that I can still be a submissive and still have my values. I do not have to give my trust freely to a person right off the back. Trust is earned in my eyes right now. Maybe I am naive, but I do not believe so. I want to experience and express life in this way, but I want to do it safely for me. I am guarded because I am ignorant to things. Aren't most intelligent people guarded when moving into a new lifestyle? Why is everything such a pressure game right off the back. I feel sad that I may never be happy. I am disheartened right now.
BUt this blog is about too much noise and that is what I feel I am getting right now. I have to say that this is a very intimidating site for the new person. Have you never gone out to a club with just friends? Or out by yourself? Did anyone strike up conversation ? Ask you to dance, make a pass (yeah if I catch their hand, they usually regretted that one, but I hope you get the idea. There is no difference in the aspect that people will pursue people, now everyone does not pursue for the same reasons. I did not read your profile, just giving my thoughts to your post. I'm a blunt person and here goes, you are right to be guarded, would you te the stranger in the club everything about yourself ? No you would not. Don't feel like you have to answer every message. As far as my thoughts on the OP's post. I used to answer every message I got, and I was not on this blog nor Fet. But I learned that some just folks just want you to spark up, some are full of shit, some are most likely sociopaths, pchsyo paths, narcs),some from the start are not going to be a fit. That's okay, but I always flip to a profile and read it, matter of fact I absorb it meaning I look at groups, writings, that is who I AM. Everyone is different. I'm not sure what you were expecting, a magical world where everyone is respectful, kind, fill in whatever word you suits your thoughts. Also many good books and online classes for new people into kink, D/s, and I will say there are some folka here that seem to have a good head on their shoulders, but there are also your garden variety A-holes (of all genders) |
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