Gaiawolf(sub female){RogueWolf}
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3 years ago •
Sep 20, 2021
How do you?
This is gonna seem like a silly question and a seriously at the same time but those who know me know I've been kinda in a "wow never realized that" mode for a while now. Learning myself, learning the ins and outs of being who I am meant to be.
So the question is, how do you incorporate all these different needs and desires into one working unit? I know everyone has their own ways, and no one can tell me step by step how to actually do it. More of how do you placate the child when she wants attention but your Dom is being amorous? How do you silence the slut when He pats his lap and tells His little girl to come snuggle? How do you remind the nurturing part of yourself to not poke and pick to annoying levels when He says it's not something He wants to talk about right now? Again I know the answer is to be open and honest about everything, but is that the only trick? Are there ways you can calm your own brain without such a struggle between your needs? Just, How? |
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Big Bad Wolfy(dom male)
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3 years ago •
Sep 20, 2021
That's a complicated question, as it really depends on the kind of dynamic that you've already established with your Dom. Have you already talked with him and determined together that this kind of behavior isn't acceptable, or are these feelings that you yourself have decided to purposefully repress because you think that by doing so it'll make your Dom happy? It seems that in this case it's the latter, so I'll format my answer with that in mind.
A big benefit of participating in any healthy relationship is not only being able to express yourself honestly, but also having someone that's able to understand and work with those feelings. It's a safe zone, and one that you should feel completely comfortable in. I don't think it's a good thing to constantly feel the need to silence these different urges of yours, as it's part of your Dom's responsibility to accept these feelings and work with them to the best of his ability. If you want to calm yourself, perhaps the best thing to do in this situation is to be just honest with your Dom. I know you mentioned in your post that it's the obvious solution, but that doesn't make it wrong. Communication is often the quickest path to a proper resolution, and if your Dom's a good one then he'll be to address your concerns in a satisfactory manner. |
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House Talion(dom male)
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3 years ago •
Sep 21, 2021
Ppl can be complicated, but the more varieties within a single personality increases the probable outcome of a solid combination of a working unit. Patience and practice.
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MissBonnie(dom female){oz}
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3 years ago •
Sep 21, 2021
Re: How do you? Gaiawolf wrote: snip.... More of how do you placate the child when she wants attention but your Dom is being amorous? How do you silence the slut when He pats his lap and tells His little girl to come snuggle? How do you remind the nurturing part of yourself to not poke and pick to annoying levels when He says it's not something He wants to talk about right now?
..snip Just, How? for me that easy but I don't mean to be dismissive in that reply. I think you might be over complicating the situation of being submissive. You be you, you do what you do and your owner, will tell you if s/he, needs you to be other wise. He or she picks you because of WHO and WHAT you are, why be other wise? the rough edges he or she will remove in the way they see fit. then its your job to see to those requests to the best of your ability or discuss why you feel, you really cant. Doing BDSM doesn't change the person you are ..it enhances it! \ BDSM is a add on your personality, not a re write of your DNA, emotions or physicality. Be YOU till told otherwise. |
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Sir'smisty(sub female)
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3 years ago •
Sep 21, 2021
I don't mean this to be a full answer. It is just one aspect of what helped me.
First, I need to know that He knows and understand whatever is niggling my mind and preventing me from submitting. Either He is aware and we will discuss it later, 0r He is fully informed and still requires obedience. That said: I had to learn to self-soothe. To do things to keep my hands or mind busy, whatever is needed. I had to learn to manage my inner dialogue. First through training thought patterns through repetition. Affirmations, sentences of positive reinforcement. I learned this with help and guidance from my then Dom. I learned to calm the storm and relax into my submission. I feel it's an inportant skill to have as a submissive, and a vital skill for the D-type to be able to train their submissives in. |
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