Advice needed

Advice needed

Not sure{No} • Oct 4, 2021

I met a bloke on a general dating website, we were chatting and we really got on. We met at the weekend for a drink and it was brilliant, although to me he was over demonstrative and sexual for a first date. Though tbh I let him to a certain extent. I suddenly find myself following rules, being given challenges, punishments...while I’m not against exploring this, I feel as if I’ve gone too far too quickly. I don’t know what to do? Any help would be fantastic x

BTYLVR​(dom male) • Oct 4, 2021

Just my two cents.....as a soft dom...or a daddy dom you are nothing if your observations do not tell you exactly what is needed....

In the beginning a good dom tailors his position according to the needs of the sub...and they are all different....anyone claiming to be a dom...who incorporates any kind of imposition... is not really a true dom...unless that is exactly your thing....

This guy needs to figure out all of your needs first...it is his job to satisfy them...when he does you will naturally surrender every inch of your body and every cell of your mind.....all without him removing his trousers.......and then...his pleasure will become your pleasure...

The sub always opens the gate.....make him prove his worthiness....ask yourself how safe you feel...listen to the internal compass....if he pushes the gate open without your desire then he is insecure and I would move on....

Just my two cents....

Slvls​(sub female) • Oct 4, 2021

If not collared , be honest , tell the Dom he is moving too fast . Trust me , i have a hard time saying no as well . But you are better off with honesty than letting it go .

Going too fast , you will not be satisfied .

If you have accepted His Dominance ( invisible collar ) your options narrow . Still be honest .

Not sure{No} • Oct 4, 2021

Thanks, but I just don’t know what’s happening, I don’t know how it got like this from banter and chatting

House Talion​(dom male) • Oct 4, 2021

Red flags

Not sure{No} • Oct 4, 2021

I’m not 100% sure what you mean

SubLoveCle​(sub female) • Oct 4, 2021

I've had things move too fast before too. I'd suggest you insist on taking a break from him for a few days or a week. It sounds like already, you aren't really in your own self. Is he making decisions for you? If so, stop that. He can't know you well enough to do so. I know it can be hard to put on the breaks, but if you don't you'll end up doing things that aren't so healthy for you. If he is genuine, he will understand and give you the space you need. So you don't loose yourself. Hope the best for you!

No Body​(dom male) • Oct 4, 2021

Follow your feelings on what you need and is going on they have been working for thousands of years and are the reasons I am still here. Sp many times I have not done something and been around to tell people I am alive because I did not do something. Listen yo your feelings!

As for me this is to soon and way to fast. If he can't so slow and find out what you like and need (one date does not tell me anything other than your name and you like to eat) then it is all about him and not you.

Not sure{No} • Oct 5, 2021

That makes a lot of sense. I do feel I’m having to suppress my personality . To be fair he has talked a lot through, but hasn't said what he is in any way

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Oct 5, 2021

By questioning, your already letting your inner voice scream at you..THIS IS TO FAST. Listen to your gut.
You also stated he has talked a lot but has he actually listened to you?
Is him listening to you an important factor to you? (are you prepared to maybe not be listened to, for the rest of your life?..this is YOUR life)
I ask because if he isn't listening now, I doubt he will later (and I feel this is when he SHOULD be not only listening to you but hearing you. This seems more about him than you BOTH creating a symbiotic partnership that meets each-other needs)
This is as "good" as a relationship gets!
You are in what they called the "honeymoon phase"
if you having doubts in this early stage, there is every chance you need to either run or ask him to slow down, till you can process what is happening and make an informed and knowledgeable decision.
I also question that he hasn't said (to quote you) "what he is in any way" and also worthy of note you met him on a vanilla dating site! I'd be asking myself do I have a Dom or a Narcissist that just likes to control his partners. Dom/mes in my experience tend to "self label and identify" and are often VERY clear in personal wants and, more importantly (future) INTENT. if hes moving to fast, the intent is for HIM, not for your welfare or mutual benefit.

but...saying all the above, stepping back, allowing your head to clear might be the best thing for you both. If his intentions are "honorable" (to use an out dated term) this will show, either way his true colors and INTENTION will be clear.