When is a Dom not allowed to discipline or correct a submissive?

When is a Dom not allowed to discipline or correct a submiss

Dom Pinnacle​(dom male) • Nov 18, 2021

As many of you know, I've been in a back and forth with several members here about my place as a dominant. There are different types of subs and doms, obviously. I am dominant at all times. I don't switch and I don't judge those who do. I am happily single (for those of you who asked). Peace of mind will always rain supreme in my life. I don't do drama. What I've tolerated here would never be tolerated in my personal life. I would simply leave. My question is to the women that are submissive to their Dom AT ALL TIMES. Not just sexually or for purpose of role playing. When is a Dom not allowed to discipline or correct his submissive?

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) • Nov 18, 2021

i cannot find the clarity i would need in the introduction to your question, but i will answer as best i can. if you have a specific scenario you want to discuss, please reply with specifics, as it may help.

“When is a Dom not allowed to discipline or correct his submissive?”

this would depend entirely on the type of relationship and how it has been framed, agreements and what has been previously negotiated, limits, healthy and safe respect for the partner and relationship.

i cannot really get more specific without specifics. i could say, “the Dom ALWAYS has the right and authority to correct / discipline”, but this response carries a lot of assumptions and we all know these black and white generalizations and absolutes are more for wanking and fantasies than framing healthy dynamics. i know how i feel about this in my own personal, building, dynamic, but my opinion includes all the details omitted from this question. what we do is much more complex and deserves more attention that this surface or shallow level response i left in quotes above.

Dom Pinnacle​(dom male) • Nov 18, 2021

Every woman has limits. I'm simply asking what is off limits to you. Whatever that may be, regarding discipline or correction. What do you feel a Dom shouldn't do or say? No generalizing. Just your feeling on the question.

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) • Nov 18, 2021

what matters to me is whether the correction or discipline is for the betterment of the relationship, does it build Us up or tear Us or One of Us down? someone i trust makes those decisions, but i am able to interject if there are mitigating circumstances He may need to know when making His choice. this is actually required that i share. He chooses if that changes His stance. i have limits but they are between my Dom and myself. it is all based on the nature and structure of the dynamic.

do black and white “rules” supersede or override the desired goal of the rules? would an unfortunate (bad) outcome based on other influences be considered collateral damage/ rules are rules? that should never be the case.

this is why we have initial and the constantly adjusting and developing discussions / negotiations. we are people so there are always many different factors to consider, but that is all determined with communication.

if you would like, i suggest maybe checking out the URL/ link on my profile under the section titled: BDSM and Me that discusses ‘Healthy CNC relationship dynamics’ as this can explain how even in this kind of power exchange dynamic, the “black and white” is always defined as what is best for the participants and the dynamic.

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) • Nov 18, 2021

rather than edit to add more i will throw in this afterthought.

i apologize for how general my several responses have been, but aside from identifying a specific scenario which would still fail to answer this question, i felt you were asking something that required a broader explanation and understanding of how strong foundations of respect and trust are built and maintained.

generally, and in the most basic explanation, discipline as verb, is basically training to maintain or work toward a specific outcome or result

a correction would be used to help redirect or refocus on the negotiated rules and boundaries outlined in the relationship. this doesn’t necessarily mean it should always be seen specifically as something punitive.

if correcting for the sake of correcting to flex and prove dominance, that is problematic and is indicative of deeper problems in the connection and the parties may consider going back to basics.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Nov 18, 2021

When a submissive withdraws consent. Its as basic, and fundamental as that.

I agree with SSR rules must be pre-agreed, ideally be used to address some beneficial purpose, specific to the person, carefully thought out and explained. Proportional punishments created to reflect the infraction. These must then be agreed to and enthusiastically. Rules can and should be revisited and adjusted, if they are found to not be working. Cookie cutter one size fits all, it worked before attitudes don't belong here.

A submissive can, and should be able to call a halt, withdraw consent at any time, for their valid reasons. Whether the dom agrees, or understands is irrelevant. This is sacred. There should be no penalties for withdrawing consent, or safe wording. To create a space in which someone is afraid to, is an abusive space.

Withdrawing consent, or safe wording is also not and should not be seen as play acting, role playing or not belonging in a 24/7 dynamic. In my view, again creating a space in which it is suggested that safe wording or withdrawing consebt means one is not a genuine submissive is also creating an abusive space.

So, 'When is a Dom not allowed to discipline or correct a submissive?' when said submissive says no, and withdraws consent, which could be at any time.

bigandsmall​(sub female) • Nov 18, 2021

I agree with SweetSirRendering, however I might add on a personal level, speaking from my own views and experience, is that correction should not ever be forbidden through conversation. I would tell a child to something this way teaching them how its done but not beat his ass for it unless he refuses intentionally. Now punishment should be punishment, more severe, dreaded because of the severity of it, if it is to be discipline and learning.

I don't want a Dom to use stupid reasons or infractions and use it as an excuse because he feels like hitting something. It defeats the purpose and begins to have no definition from discipline and play.

The very dynamic suggests that he should be able in bend his sub over at will, enjoy her bare ass then go back to eating his cheerios. Just for the joy of it. without feeling like he has to screw her to do it. Just like, if I want to be smacked on my ass without going into a big drawn out scene or intercourse, I should feel able to offer him a paddle or my ass. It doesn't have to mean "let's have sex", BDSM is more than about sex'

Don't ask me to lose 5lbs in a week, knowing it is an irrationally, unhealthy request then punish me when I fail, instead make me log everything I eat in a week instead and make corrections. Don't ask me to pick up your dry cleaning, and punish me because the store was closed. dumb shit like that as an excuse. Otherwise fulfillment becomes associated with punishment, and the sub might begin to intentionally look for ways to be disobedient simply because she is craving attention. (acknowledging that it is also a form of relationship and dynamic, and not referring to that)

If you as a Dom give an assignment that will impact the well being or livelihood of both of you, or something that was really important to you and your sub sat her lazy ass in front of the tv, and didn't do it..well.... need I say more

dollMaker​(dom male) • Nov 18, 2021

Well said @bigandsmall

bigandsmall​(sub female) • Nov 18, 2021

Thank you dollMaker. I appreciate it

Dom Pinnacle​(dom male) • Nov 18, 2021

SweetSirRendering​(sub female){Taken}

"what matters to me is whether the correction or discipline is for the betterment of the relationship."

Thank you and I agree with you. No need for apologies for your response. I understand that you don't care to get into specifics. And I can't argue with anything you said. Much appreciated.