Personal ads in the wild

Personal ads in the wild

CSI • Feb 11, 2022

Do you mention anything or allude to kink when writing your profile for regular dating sites? Or do you get to know someone and then talk about it? Or do you just let whatever happens happen?

Knightsundere​(sub male) • Feb 11, 2022

I blatantly put it out there, mostly because I consider it a large part of my personality to be interested in sex as a freetime activity moreso than a romantic special occasion. I have to imagine it's potentially turned some people away that I'm blunt about it, but.. I really don't like to waste people's time, especially considering how taboo it is way out in the Christian country. Maybe a little bit of a selfish desire not to bother with people who abhor it too, lol.

I will say, I really wish there wasn't so much overlap between BDSM and Poly people. It's not my thing but goddd every kinky person on Tinder or Hinge seems to be. Don't any of you just want me ? aaaa

MisterAshmodai​(dom male) • Feb 11, 2022

This assuredly depends on who you ask and how the awareness of kink must be regulated to preserve their preferred lifestyle.

Personally, I am lucky enough to be in a place where there is little to no consequence to anyone learning of my kinky predilections. As such, I include proper reference to my nature in any bio I write.

I'm sure it also depends on the extent to which you consider the expression of your kink a necessity.
Currently, I do not see myself ever finding fulfillment in a connection that does not have an element of kink to it, so I make sure to put that expectation front and center.

Miki​(masochist female) • Feb 11, 2022

I guess you could look at it from both angles. If one only wants a kinky, D/s relationship then put it out there off the bat. No sense meeting and connecting with someone who isn't into this.

On the other hand if one wants a relationship where there some some kinky aspects might be nice, but not required, don't not plaster it out there off the bat. If this isn't the be-all and end-all of a relationship one is seeking, putting kink, D/s, etc straight on the profile might run off someone who they would otherwise click very nicely.

Oh and a third aspect... Like anywhere else online, there are jerks, creeps and downright fucked-up people out there, and advertising oneself on a profile as into BDSM -- could attract them like flies. You don't need that.

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In general what I would do is wait. Have the topic come up in a later conversation should you find someone to your liking.

That's the best I can do, considering I have no accounts on any dating sites and as I put in my profile, I'm not in here to make such connections, either.

Re: Personal ads in the wild

Fyglia Wicked​(dom female) • Feb 11, 2022

1. Only if want to attract kinktards and spend your time sorting through endless people to find someone worth your time.

Morley​(sub female){Max Sterne} • Feb 12, 2022

Way back when I was on dating sites/apps, I would put in my profile something that a Vanilla wouldn't really know, but a kinkster would.

Examples:
I love most flavours of icecream, but vanilla really isn't my thing.
I am completely into SSC.
I'm a dog person, but do love Cat o Nine Tails

You can get very creative. Those who have to ask, then you know they're not into your kink.

Bunnie • Feb 14, 2022

“Do you mention anything or allude to kink when writing your profile for regular dating sites? Or do you get to know someone and then talk about it? Or do you just let whatever happens happen?”

Considering the values I carry as a part of how I choose to live, when I did set up a profile on a *dating site* (thecage is not a place I personally consider to be a dating site), I was as straight forward as was possible at that time, stating that I was indeed exploring myself as a submissive. This lead to genuine curiosity from some, and interesting conversation with others. It also lead to me realising that a vanilla dating site was not the place for me at that time.

As far as I see it, what we put “out there” is the first step in finding what we’re seeking, even in how we word things and present those words.
How someone chooses to share themselves in these situations tells us a lot about them, whether we like to realise that or not. However, isn’t that the whole point? I don’t tend to get involved in the common mindset of playing the games of keeping our cards close to our chest. For me this is about vulnerability. If I want to attract someone who values that as much as me, I have to be willing to be vulnerable. If I want to attract someone who values bravery, I have to be brave. If I want to attract someone who values communication, I have to be open in my communication. If I want to attract someone who values the ability to be honest despite being uncomfortable, I have to be honest despite being uncomfortable.
That’s how I tend to see it anyway

bondageguyy​(switch male) • Feb 14, 2022

I allude to it in my regular online dating profiles, but I keep it light hearted and fun.

For example, I like the pros and cons lists.

Under pros, I might say 'has a sharp and kinky mind 😉'

Keep it fun and not too detailed is my advice.