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Negotiation 101

Bunnie
2 years ago • Apr 19, 2022

Negotiation 101

Bunnie • Apr 19, 2022
Here is a link to a great set of writings in regards to negotiation:

https://fetlife.com/users/11772/posts/7630464

If anyone else has any resources they’d like to share, please do icon_smile.gif
Bunnie
2 years ago • Apr 19, 2022
Bunnie • Apr 19, 2022
Here is a scene negotiation checklist:

https://occs.cs.oberlin.edu/~dockhorn/jay.pdf
    The most loved post in topic
Brooklyn Not Looking
2 years ago • Apr 19, 2022
Brooklyn Not Looking • Apr 19, 2022
Bunnie THANK YOU FOR THIS!
I was not able to open the Fetlife because no account but the second link it was like a wet dream for my OCD organizational mind! You are the MVP
Zelia
2 years ago • Apr 21, 2022
Zelia • Apr 21, 2022
I just looked at the scene negotiation checklist. To me it reads like a list of things that may be useful to cover during the negotiation period prior to a dynamic; consideration period. There are elements that don’t seem relevant to a scene. I also found it very rigid in terms of how a submissive may respond to the Dominant during the scene. The section related to STDs is interesting too… ‘might have’ isn’t good enough when it comes to knowing if you have an STD or not. Either know or test prior to scene, unless disease is your kink.
This wouldn’t work for me. If I know someone well enough to consider a session with them I would have spent time discussing the important parts, such as limits during the period prior to play. Some parts are of course important but much of it isn’t to me and some is limiting in a way that just wouldn’t work.
I guess contracts and negotiating to this degree isn’t for everyone though and if it suits you then it’s a valuable resource.
Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
2 years ago • Apr 21, 2022
Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Apr 21, 2022
JustAlice wrote:
I just looked at the scene negotiation checklist. To me it reads like a list of things that may be useful to cover during the negotiation period prior to a dynamic; consideration period. There are elements that don’t seem relevant to a scene. I guess contracts and negotiating to this degree isn’t for everyone though.
Eighteen pages of negotiations for a one off scene is most definitely not in *my* wheelhouse. In fact, just trying to skim through it was tiresome. 😉
Brooklyn Not Looking
2 years ago • Apr 21, 2022
Brooklyn Not Looking • Apr 21, 2022
The checklist provides structure and an idea of what to be discussed, and seeing it on paper can be the comfort many seek. However, it depends on the dynamic or individual and what aspects of the resource they want to utilize.
IronWorld​(sadist male)
2 years ago • Apr 21, 2022
IronWorld​(sadist male) • Apr 21, 2022
Bunnie wrote:
Here is a scene negotiation checklist:

https://occs.cs.oberlin.edu/~dockhorn/jay.pdf

Under pain, I would change the answers to: No 1 2 3 4 5 (1 being low impact, 5 being hit me with your best shot)

The favorite hobbies thing under the dom and sub thing is unnecessary. IMO, that kind of thing is best left to personal conversations. Instead of this perhaps a mood setting section: what music is being played during a scene? Lighting? Scented candles? Pentagrams? Livestock?

What does "In case of crisis Yes No" mean?

An Aftercare section would probably be helpful as well.
Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
2 years ago • Apr 21, 2022
Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Apr 21, 2022
IronWorld wrote:
The favorite hobbies thing under the dom and sub thing is unnecessary. IMO, that kind of thing is best left to personal conversations. Perhaps a mood setting section: what music is being played during a scene? Lighting? Livestock?
🤨
IronWorld​(sadist male)
2 years ago • Apr 21, 2022
IronWorld​(sadist male) • Apr 21, 2022
Spellbound Wytch wrote:
IronWorld wrote:
The favorite hobbies thing under the dom and sub thing is unnecessary. IMO, that kind of thing is best left to personal conversations. Perhaps a mood setting section: what music is being played during a scene? Lighting? Livestock?
🤨


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