| Defender(dom male) |
2 years ago •
Apr 29, 2022
Re: Lack of fetish representation Stevevo wrote: There are a lot of kinks out there and many that I don’t see represented in the forums; either as a separate forum or even when searching.
Is it because there is a lack of interest? Going back to the original question ^, there is another kink I have come across recently, that I am sure is a minoriy - especially on here. The "asexual" kinkster. The person I've chatted to on another site, is really not keen on a sexual relationship - but does like service and submission (1950's household style). Being asexual, I don't think she is finding it easy- especially finding an asexual Dom! If she came on here and put up her profile, would she get many responses? Or put another way, are there many "aces" in kink? |
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Stevevo(dom male)
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2 years ago •
Apr 29, 2022
Re: Lack of fetish representation Defender wrote: Stevevo wrote: There are a lot of kinks out there and many that I don’t see represented in the forums; either as a separate forum or even when searching.
Is it because there is a lack of interest? Going back to the original question ^, there is another kink I have come across recently, that I am sure is a minoriy - especially on here. The "asexual" kinkster. The person I've chatted to on another site, is really not keen on a sexual relationship - but does like service and submission (1950's household style). Being asexual, I don't think she is finding it easy- especially finding an asexual Dom! If she came on here and put up her profile, would she get many responses? Or put another way, are there many "aces" in kink? Interesting. For me, I would need the sexual aspects filled. It would need to be some sort of poly relationship where she would be fine with me having another sub for the sex side of the relationship. |
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Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
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2 years ago •
Apr 29, 2022
Re: Lack of fetish representation Defender wrote: Going back to the original question ^, there is another kink I have come across recently, that I am sure is a minoriy - especially on here. The "asexual" kinkster. The person I've chatted to on another site, is really not keen on a sexual relationship - but does like service and submission (1950's household style). Being asexual, I don't think she is finding it easy- especially finding an asexual Dom! Being asexual isn't a kink. Unless you also consider being gay or lesbian a kink. I think you'd be surprised at how many people engage in BDSM with absolutely no sexual component attached. I've been in the lifestyle for 27 years and have only been sexually active with the three men I've developed a D/s relationship with. The rest were play partners and no sex was involved.
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I'mME
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2 years ago •
May 10, 2022
Sineater sineater wrote: The reason you might not see them is probably just sample size bias. this is a smaller site with a small population. On the bigger kink sites, these have several groups/discussions/tags for them each.
Also, misogyny is more of a toxic personality trait, wouldn't degradation be a better descriptor of a kink? I'm not positive but it read as if you were comparing degradation to misogyny. Degradation would not have to involve misogyny. Do you think of them as going hand in hand? |
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I'mME
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2 years ago •
May 10, 2022
Stevevo Stevevo wrote: MisterAshmodai wrote: There is an interesting topic of discussion, certain to bring about, in equal measure, deep thoughts and aggressive responses (both warranted and not so much).
The distinction between a misogyny fetish and being an actual misogynist. I'm sure there are some who would claim that a misogyny fetish is in keeping with being a misogynist, but to me, that brings up the consideration that, if this stance is true and our fetishes are that inseparable from our deep internal being, wouldn't a misogyny fetish be one of the less concerning fetishes? A perplexing and unique thought on the topic. I would think based on your thoughts that; it would be proportional to the amount of people that are into misogyny and equally concerning to them. As the world sees most kinks, it would be considered taboo or less concerning than traditional relationships or accepted practices. I wouldn’t be able to rank one kink over another in relation to bdsm as more or less concerning. It might be more able to be ranked as more or less popular. If you relate misogyny to inner beings and one’s self; I would say most people might be able to say it was less concerning to them. I do see other sites where women have this fetish and are attracted to men that are misogynist or can play the part. It would be interesting to learn and hear from women who are into misogyny, and why they feel it turns them on. *are attracted to men that are misogynist or can play the part.* There are many descriptive terms that a Dom might use to describe themselves, however misogynist should not be one. It has no place in D/s |
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I'mME
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2 years ago •
May 10, 2022
Stevevo Stevevo wrote: MisterAshmodai wrote: There is an interesting topic of discussion, certain to bring about, in equal measure, deep thoughts and aggressive responses (both warranted and not so much).
The distinction between a misogyny fetish and being an actual misogynist. I'm sure there are some who would claim that a misogyny fetish is in keeping with being a misogynist, but to me, that brings up the consideration that, if this stance is true and our fetishes are that inseparable from our deep internal being, wouldn't a misogyny fetish be one of the less concerning fetishes? A perplexing and unique thought on the topic. I would think based on your thoughts that; it would be proportional to the amount of people that are into misogyny and equally concerning to them. As the world sees most kinks, it would be considered taboo or less concerning than traditional relationships or accepted practices. I wouldn’t be able to rank one kink over another in relation to bdsm as more or less concerning. It might be more able to be ranked as more or less popular. If you relate misogyny to inner beings and one’s self; I would say most people might be able to say it was less concerning to them. I do see other sites where women have this fetish and are attracted to men that are misogynist or can play the part. It would be interesting to learn and hear from women who are into misogyny, and why they feel it turns them on. *are attracted to men that are misogynist or can play the part.* There are many descriptive terms that a Dom might use to describe themselves, however misogynist should not be one. It has no place in D/s. If a sub wants the real 4hony, then said person should seek some therapy.. |
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I'mME
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2 years ago •
May 10, 2022
Bunny Bunnie wrote: I agree with your Cuck example… especially as a female who enjoys being cucked, there isn’t a lot of representation I agree. But when we begin to shift from mainstream tastes, regardless of what those are, the “representation” becomes less. But does that matter? I don’t need people to represent me, I represent myself. So I guess I’ve never really worried too much about it. You do at times come up against ignorance, but I usually expend about as much energy towards that as is warranted. If someone genuinely wants to learn about something they don’t know about, I’ll share resources. If not, I leave them to it.
As for your example of PE/TPE and Misogyny, I find it interesting that you consider those fetishes. I’ve never looked at it from that perspective before… usually more as lifestyle choices. Again, agreed there isn’t much representation for those either. As with anything, majority rules. The majority here is pretty mainstream. If you push the boundaries too much there’s backlash. Like anything with groups of people coming together, the majority mindset polices. I don’t mind, I just colour within the lines. Guess you could say in a way that in and of itself feeds my fetish lol. *edited for typos. Bunny, I always enjoy the clear , on point, clarity of your responses. Always a pleasure to read . |
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Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
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2 years ago •
May 10, 2022
Re: Stevevo I'mME wrote: There are many descriptive terms that a Dom might use to describe themselves, however misogynist should not be one. It has no place in D/s. This is how otherwise undesirable personality traits get indulged and excused. People bring things like misogyny to the table claiming it's just another kink and then hot headedly admonish others to not "kink shame" them for it.
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I'mME
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2 years ago •
May 11, 2022
Re: Lack of fetish representation Defender wrote: Stevevo wrote: There are a lot of kinks out there and many that I don’t see represented in the forums; either as a separate forum or even when searching.
Is it because there is a lack of interest? Going back to the original question ^, there is another kink I have come across recently, that I am sure is a minoriy - especially on here. The "asexual" kinkster. The person I've chatted to on another site, is really not keen on a sexual relationship - but does like service and submission (1950's household style). Being asexual, I don't think she is finding it easy- especially finding an asexual Dom! If she came on here and put up her profile, would she get many responses? Or put another way, are there many "aces" in kink? Asexual is an orientation. Demisexual is considered to be under the umbrella of asexual. A person can be considered asexual but desire a emotional connection, platonic, romantic, etc with another person. A Dom's role is to help a sub grow as a person and/or help a sub, see their needs met, then it's a matter of finding a Dom who would be happy to have someone service their household or if sub has skills in certain areas such as accounting, or seeing to the details of a traveling, the list could be endless then perhaps a search should start in that direction. A 1950's household is not the only type of a service sub. So when you state asexual, then service sub throwing in 1950's household gives me impression that you like to have people in boxes with labels on the outside very neatly. Why would a Dom have to be asexual in order to have a sub who is asexual? I do enjoy questions that give my brain a jolt. I used to be a great writer but some days I wonder if I have skills left. I will continue to practice. |
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MisterAshmodai(dom male)
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2 years ago •
May 11, 2022
While there is little support for any argument against the observation that the kink community is rife with legitimate abuse, oft times buried beneath double speak and inexperience, it is important to make the distinction between actuality and role play.
If someone has a misogyny kink, but has the forethought to keep it within the realm of role play instead of seeking out a legitimate misogynist, there would be nothing objectively wrong with that. Sure, you could make the argument that to desire misogyny indicates some deeper potential issues (though not necessarily), but there are a broad range of kinks and fetishes that fall into this same category (a number of which I would argue land in worse territory than misogyny), and as long as there is no harm, there is nothing wrong with this. |
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