How does one find a female dom?

How does one find a female dom?

thexephoes​(sub male) • Apr 26, 2022

As a male with not a lot of experience in the BDSM community, I've always be shy about talking about my kinks. I've always wanted a female/mommy dom. Not just in the sexual form but just as a general connection but I don't really know how to talk about it or find someone looking for the same thing. I never want to pressure a woman in engaging in activity she's not into herself. So, how is a good way to find women looking for a male sub with a friendship involved in the relationship?

AshenFenrir​(dom male) • Apr 26, 2022

Take the kink aspect out of it. Just focus on meeting and learning about people, building connections and relationships. In time, the rest will come, and you'll gain more comfort and confidence in talking while doing so. My two cents, anyways.

Blue Kat • Apr 26, 2022

A Friend of mine , told me , practice Talking to People on the Internet , I'm Shy to. I get All Tongue tied. I Can't even say Hi to pritty Woman.

Solace​(dom male) • Apr 26, 2022

My compliments to AshenFenrir, he expresses an excellent ideal of how to go about this. I however contrast his view and will recommend the opposite.

This is a kink website. For some its a forum but for many of us its a sexy dating website. To take the kink out of it would be a mistake as it would remove the common ground members have. Common ground that can be used for an excellent first exchange, potentially the first of many.

Your profile isn't to describe you in a bottle, its a giant conversation starter. Exploit that common ground by stating your kinky interests briefly. It can be a list, it can a wordplay sentence. Not every one wants to talk kink off the bat, include more about your self outside of kink for them to ask about or compliment. Pictures go a long way in this. Even if you're concerned about sharing you identity there are still many ways to post and intriguing picture.

The name of the game is Icebreaker. People viewing you need to have something they want to say. People messaging you need to have something they can start with that will lead to more. People you message need to be able to review you and believe your worth asking further about.

I have had moderate success on this site. My profile is modeled off of my own advice. If I have been unclear or you wish for an example feel free to reference my own profile. In past three years I have 260 profile likes and maybe 100 messages independent of likes.

But please know thexephoes, you are playing a different game than I. As a dominant male, I pursue this differently than you and I have a wider range of potentials. Do not be discouraged, it takes time and its worth it.

Welcome to the community, we are happy to have you.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Apr 26, 2022

You got some great advice above from Solice and Id tell you the same. Everyone will tell you a form of what he has.

One of the questions we Dommes are most asked is how do I attract the attentions of a Dominant Female for either online activities or real time adventures. I'm new to the Femdom Internet scene, how does it all work? You find some great threads here on the boards discussing this topic.
We all face problems in our search for a BDSM partner. If this thread doesn't give you the answers you want....read, read and read some more. Just being available and submissive isn't enough.

If your stating online and looking online, start with your profile as Solice said. Learn how to stand out for the right reasons. How you present yourself in your profiles and contacting a mistress is perhaps the most crucial part of establishing yourself for a Femdom relationship, attracting a potential partner, and being seen as ~ a worthy submissive for a Domme to own, is a process. Still not sure? find a mentor that can maybe help you

also take your search REAL time. Join local to you munches, attend events, attend skill shares. (not sure how to find these? just ask)

Network.

Use every tool at advantage. The FIRST being your profile.
How would you find a partner otherwise? (as in vanilla) The process isn't that different when your looking for a relationship (as you state) it is just the enjoinment is a little different, the people aren't!

Best of luck in your search. Hope to see you more on the boards

LuckyFouYou​(sub male) • Jun 6, 2022

I’m looking for a femdom

Notely • Jun 7, 2022

Just saying I wouldn't just go hoping in their Dm's saying your in to them that your looking for a relationship because a relationship is the last thing I know many are looking but you need to get to know someone first establish conversation not really being up the BDSM or say your sub looking for a Domme this can be kind of a turn off its just like Doms messaging a women cause its sounds to in a rush it kind of kills the interest. I am not a Domme but I have female Domme friend she does not like to be rushed or that to be the first topic gets old after a while. Never bring up a relationship at first just say don't say how hot they look just find something like you really have a nice glow keep to the that really don't bring up sex or limits at first just say you can read my profile. Be their peace see where it goes. Cause Lass really wan'ts growth in guy not someone acting like a little boy so not trying to tell you what to do but they don't also like guys acting like they submitting right away also its just dead conversation after that. But some pictures can even turn off a women keep the clothes on don't look like your kneeling naked in a picture I mean come on now save it for the person later for private some people might be in to that tho.

Keep looking not for a person but for your passion, Your Love, Your Courage, Your goals, your Dreams., your happiness, yourself. keep looking. Explore your worth before you explore another. know your worth. Know yourself only then will you know what you need over what you want. You need yourself to become your own.

Notely • Jun 7, 2022

You also might want to fill out your profile a bit and nice picture something of art or something and quote don't have to show all til its time exchange in trust.

Knightsundere​(sub male) • Jun 7, 2022

Pray

pacificwonder • Jan 21, 2023

Fellow male sub here seeking female dom.. apply in my dms