Punishment Ideas?

Re: Punishment Ideas?

Morley​(sub female){Max Sterne} • Jul 29, 2022

Off the top... I have to say that I am masochist, so pain is pleasure to me!

Secondly, I find these Forum posts on THIS specific topic sooooo intriguing! Why? Because I cannot fathom a dynamic (or person) "looking" for PUNISHMENT ideas! AGAIN, I am a masochist so pain is my pleasure. That is why I am in a dynamic with my wicked Sadist. My pain is His pleasure! ❤️😈 However, we're also in a D/s dynamic! He's not only my Sadistic Master, He is also my Daddy, loving and nurturing!

So, I get confused when posts like this come up. I tend to (personal opinion) wonder WHY anyone (D or s) would want to ask for suggestions on punishments if they are not a declared brat or brat Owner? I mean, again, personal opinion, I ask WHY would you want to know this?

Personally, as my Master's slave, Dom's sub, and my Daddy's girl, I strive EVERYDAY to please, serve and surrender to Him! If, and that's the operative word (if) or when (an even bigger word) I disappoint, let down, not follow rules / protocol? Then I am NOT serving Him well. THAT in itself KILLS me!!! There is NO punishment He could give me that would be greater than I feel letting Him down (or breaking a rule etc.)

With THAT said, NONE of us is perfect! We WILL falter (again if NOT a brat and doing it purposely), and our D type will know this and the "PUNISHMENT" you ask about, can ONLY be determined by your D! It's called ATONEMENT! in all reality, a true punishment should only be a ONE time thing! The reason for our D's to punish us should only be to alleviate us of our guilt, and "misdoing" so to not be done again or repeated!!

So my opinion on Punishments is:

They should be specific to the infraction, to alleviate the S's guilt, free them of their wrong doing, to ensure it does not happen again! Punishments should NEVER be an ONGOING thing, if you're in a healthy dynamic, and it's not what you consented to. Again, my opinion!

moll​(other female){owned slav} • Jul 29, 2022

Being self aware is a good thing...well, most of the time. I'm thinking it's a more pleasurable situation for the both of you. Exploring ways to bring/experience pleasure, in my opinion, is much better than seeking new punishments.....wow that sounded cheesy.

Oh and the losing track of time thing: set alarms to remind you that you have places to go and stuff to do. It's a time management thing I learned years ago.

Re: Punishment Ideas?

LongerJohnny​(dom male){B&C} • Jul 29, 2022

My opinion too! I agree 100% with this. Absolutely.

Re: Punishment Ideas?

moll​(other female){owned slav} • Jul 29, 2022

I think that the answer to why people come to forums like this to find punishment ideas is for several reasons, in my opinion. One being they are looking for someone to take responsibility for their actions. "If I get someone else to come up with a punishment, I don't have to feel guilty for punishing because it wasn't my idea." Another is that their Dom/Master/Daddy has actually ordered them to do so in order to cause humiliation and that could be the punishment in itself. There are also people, like the OP, who don't want to admit that they are really going out of their way to disobey their dominant in order to gain pain for pleasure and subconsciously need another (an objective perspective) to point it out. And then there are just attention seekers.

I disagree with the "alleviate the sub/slave's guilt" part. If a person feels bad about disobeying, wrong doing, infractions...whatever you want to call it...they tend not to do it again. Even if that is not disappointing the dominant again.

Re: Punishment Ideas?

LilMinx​(sub female){Not Lookin} • Jul 29, 2022

Yes, I can totally see how the others are thinking. In some dynamics subs love to do what their dom says and make sure they're not disappointing them. But again, there are brats(like me) who like to push buttons and do seek punishments for pleasure.

And yes, my Daddy did actually ask me to come on here and ask for punishments...if I didn't get ideas then I would have gotten an even worse punishment, so I guess I FINALLY did something he asked of me 😜

Thank you all for coming on here and helping me and also voicing your opinions on things. I love seeing everyone's thoughts and ideas as I am still learning things through this lifestyle.

Re: Punishment Ideas?

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Jul 29, 2022

SO much to think about here. Response to the OP: Depends upon what you are actually asking. Are you seeking punishment options to correct a behavior or incident, or are you looking for fun (or funishmnet)? Is it the kinky fun you desire? Nothing wrong with either, but I concur with Morley that punishments should be aimed to correct a behavior or an incident and has multi-fold purpose. Establish boundaries of behavior, correct a behavior or incident and give the submissive peace of mind and alleviate guilt for failing their Dominant (if that is part of your dynamic). Very much like confession alleviates the mind and soul so you can walk around without the guilt.

So, what are you and your Dominant using punishment for? It almost feels like fun and not really to correct a behavior.

I can understand why individuals use the Forums to ask questions and for suggestions. Especially new members. Entering into a new dynamic, asking what are acceptable methods for punishing behavior is not a bad idea if you don't understand or only know "spanking". But punishments should fit the crime so to speak. What was the crime and what would help correct the behavior while also alleviating the submissive of any feelings of failure or guilt? Maybe writing 100 times "I will not do xxx" by hand. It is very specific to the behavior and the dynamic. And let's be specific, spanking a masochist is NOT punishment. It's play.

@Moll, I don't understand the idea of looking for someone else to take responsibility. That sounds immature at base. If a Dominant enacts punishment in their dynamic, it's their responsibility. Looking to shift the blame means they are not the dominant. Regardless of where they derive the idea of the punishment, it's "theirs".

As indicated above, one of the byproducts of punishment is the alleviation of guilt or failings that the submissive may have. It doesn't necessarily apply to all individuals or dynamics. But it is a solid byproduct. Atonement.

When a brat acts out, there are different, outside reasons they are doing that. Some of it is for funishment as I indicated above. It's not to correct a behavior as it's part of the play of their relationship.

Re: Punishment Ideas?

moll​(other female){owned slav} • Jul 29, 2022

Your comment about a dominant who shifts blame is not a dominant is obvious. But my statement wasn't about whether the person is a true dominant or not, just that these types of forum questions are used to avoid responsibility.

Seriously....alleviating guilt? So if someone commits a crime in society, the justice system should alleviate their guilt? Because in a D/s or M/s dynamic, the Dom/Master is the justice system. Or should it be, "oh don't feel bad for disrespecting me.....I'm only your Dom/Master.....the promise you made not to disrespect me...oh it meant nothing." NO! If a sub/slave disrespects his/her dominant they should feel remorse and guilt, otherwise that poor behavior continues. When I have disrespected my Master, I feel bad about it and use those bad feeling to avoid doing it again.

Re: Punishment Ideas?

moll​(other female){owned slav} • Jul 29, 2022

Well....since you completed your task....then kudos.

Seriously, I don't understand the concept of the "brat." I mean, when I was a teenager, I did the normal pushing of boundaries with my parents....and I'm not stating that I've never pushed things too far with my Master, because I have....but his pushback is not something enjoyable and going out of one's way....yeah, I don't get it. But we all have our own versions of this lifestyle.

Re: Punishment Ideas?

LilMinx​(sub female){Not Lookin} • Jul 29, 2022

Honestly, I completely understand. I'm 95% brat and then 5% good girl. I love teasing my dom and fighting with him because I get the adrenaline rush of the chase, the battle against him even though I know I'm going to lose. It's the fun, adrenaline of it. I guess that's the best I can explain of it at the moment.

But then there are times when I just want to do everything he asks of me and be his good little princess because I love the rewards. But I've noticed that those times are when I'm struggling mentally and I can't handle being a brat in the moment and just need my dom to be there for me and I need to he good for him because it helps me feel better.

I didn't know that I could be both a brat and a good girl until I chatted with someone on here and they let me know that it's okay to be whatever you feel like in the moment. They told me that it's okay to be into one kink one day and have it be a limit the next because that's how our bodies and minds are and we need to be in control of it along side our doms.

I really appreciated reading everyone's thoughts! It's definitely a learning opportunity to get everyone's point of view and advice.

corruptedgirl​(sub female) • Jul 29, 2022

I don't know if it's been said yet because these responses are pretty in depth but cold showers.

I'm not big on pain and also give a big NO to humiliation or degradation of any kind (even punishments can't cross hard limits unless negotiated)

I played with a Dom a few times who had the punishment of cold showers which was kinda genius. It wasn't painful in the classic sense but BOY DID IT SUCK. I did NOT enjoy it. Which was the whole point hahaha.

It's also a good punishment for beginners as it doesn't require a practiced Dom who knows how to wield a cane or flogger or even their own hand and it's a good 'Baby's First Punishment' experience for a sub who isn't sure where they sit on the pain threshold or humiliation.