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Where to go from here

shortylotus
3 months ago • Sep 6, 2022

Where to go from here

shortylotus • Sep 6, 2022
What does a sub do after being so broken by Dom that the thought of being submissive leaves her feeling angry, resentful and fearful. Where does her journey go next? Is it even possible?
Moonlighter​(dom male){ThyFoxy}
3 months ago • Sep 6, 2022
Well .... first of, I'm sorry that's happened to you.

Secondly, and this is advice for any relationship kink or otherwise, if you feel badly hurt and angry and resentful then psychologically speaking you are still processing the event ... and that's fine, you should.

It is entirely valid to feel negative things about negative experiences so the first step is to not feel bad for feeling bad if that makes sense.

Secondly, take time to heal. could be a month or a year or 5 years, it doesn't matter. Take time for yourself to recover yourself, don't cut yourself off from friends you've made, but take time to understand why you feel the way you do.

Then, when you're ready, and only when you're ready, move forward.

It's all any of us can do.
    The most loved post in topic
CSI​(sub female)
3 months ago • Sep 6, 2022
CSI​(sub female) • Sep 6, 2022
^^^ ditto.

You cry, you breathe, you mourn what was and what could have been. And then one day you start to realize you will be ok. And figuring out how to do that and what it looks like. You set boundaries for yourself and may be more cautious interacting in the future, but even little steps are steps in the right direction. I am sorry it happened, but can say from experience that it does get better, it just takes time.
RefinedLace​(other female)
3 months ago • Sep 6, 2022
Sorry you had to go through but it time to put your needs first and your happiness.
Power of Woman
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F37Sr98uA7I
how to deal with anger
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCM7E0HZMgI&t=3s
Rise
https://www.instagram.com/p/CgmPxSqlfi-/

Letting go Coping Mechanisms  


Before I get more into detail : This only guidance with enlightenment healing is inner work as this only support helps lead the way rest is up to you in your joinery .  Go what you feel works for you.

But first no offence you will need to cut ties with seeking any  new relationship this time only  focus on in relationship with being your with yourself before anything. Not trying to get on you
 but  getting off the horse of looking for a relationship after getting burned will just mix things up and lead to hurting more. You come first, that right relationship comes later.
   Just saying you might already have lose  any communication with the ex. Cut ties with your ex, delete the number  and the name, delete them everywhere, give things away to the goodwill and burn things if you need to.   Best not to talk to them or look for them or go to their house. That will only make it worse to cut all ties.     



Right now you need to start setting boundaries , Start doing things for yourself, putting yourself and needs first , Being the Badass Women never take crap, never settle for anything less. The sweet effect has to be shown with blue prints. Sweet words do not work.

This is a new beginning, a new start. Never too late you're allowed to start again and begin again.

One thing you need to know : Your Women you are Goddess Beautiful Divine being time to step up in a new horizon.
When a Woman finds balance between her feminine and masculine she steps into the Goddess she was born to become.


https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch-FV7qpp9x/

Health and Wellness Retreat Mechanisms :
• Focusing on yourself  with Health  Wellness -  Healing with self care and self love putting your health and wellness first with recharging your  batteries everyday. Your the Divine Being time to be sexy you for only dress up for you start pampering yourself.  Anyone wants to be part you they better be glad that even get to be but this will come later For now on know one is allowed to change you or try to control you that can't love who you are how you come tell them to fuck off have a nice day you gotta put your foot down in everything .  Start romancing your life enchanting what is around you, making this beautiful life for yourself only you.    You have to learn to say no , You're not a toy , You're not an object ,  You're a Divine women  Goddess as a temple comes with respect only those that respect you get in that temple. Not everyone is allowed, not everyone is for you.  Fine to be sassy and strong. You can be nice but you can not be nice  when respect is not the same.  No answer is an answer you do not have to reply to anyone that does not serve you with respect.   This the time to put yourself off the market you don't owe anyone anything, only you being better for yourself.   

Wellness
https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch--RACAUBR/
You are the gate keeper
https://www.instagram.com/p/Chp-U3DjTs3/
I don't chase , I attract. Everything that is meant for me will find me.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CiF6aXgLM4u/
Things that are good for you
https://www.instagram.com/p/CiGKZb7JaaX/
Be your own happily ever after
https://www.instagram.com/p/CiFrBrVL_d0/
The art of seduction
https://www.instagram.com/p/CiAteIItdpH/
Be true to your self
https://www.instagram.com/p/ChH8evjlmoa/
Being kinder to yourself
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cg18nnslpYi/
To heal
https://www.instagram.com/p/ChSLLBBFuYF/
Super process
https://www.instagram.com/p/ChM6U9AFtRt/
Be prepared https://www.instagram.com/p/ChAKuINlFUU/
experiences
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cg4baz8Fc4A/
Don't let anybody take you back to the level you have already leveled up from.
https://www.instagram.com/p/ChmIy6JFQaz/
Love yourself first https://www.instagram.com/p/Chr_5gpFS8U/
Two days
https://www.instagram.com/p/CgpB7iql62t/
Guided Meditation for Self Love 💗
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-8ALcF8AGE&t=207s

Guided Meditation for Positive Energy, Relaxation, Peace
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86m4RC_ADEY&t=551s
Guided Sleep Meditation & Deep Relaxation
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvaqPPjtxng&t=114s



• Find Inner Peace Through Detachment- Letting go forgive let go of the past and cut cords , Asking to releasing everything that is bothering you.
Do the things you love to do , Make a list make a bucket list.
Positive Affirmations for Self Love, Self Esteem, Confidence
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo1pJ_D-H3M&t=29s

A Meditation: Cleansing Relationships & Cutting Cords
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umi21Iffugs

Letting go : https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch2HoqxDXi_/
seven affirmation
https://www.instagram.com/p/CiEpzEkjZo2/

Blocking , Deleting , Un Following , Muting , Are all forms of self care
https://www.instagram.com/p/CiE553RI-pY/

The right vibe in choosing
https://www.instagram.com/p/CiDwQoIvh_P/

Choice in bettering your life
https://www.instagram.com/p/CiEyjrhjv1_/
How To Express Your Emotion
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0wAs-u4A2E&t=135s
How To Move On, Let Go & Leave Your Past in The Past
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIKFEkO3Qss&t=65s


• Make a Routine - Making a routine to balance out your life as in starting with your day starting with you making beautiful life for life for yourself , Manifesting words to yourself , having a nice shower , Eating a healthy breakfast , making cup of tea and sitting on the porch getting fresh air.

Level up your routine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqgh-rJMKSc&t=89s

10 daily healthy habits for a better you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqgh-rJMKSc&t=62s

making time with one self
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/IVBDp1AhYHw

Making
time for yourself

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kR6PjvwjDKI&t=4s

High Vibe Morning Routine ✨
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evfYcKu3r0s&t=2s

Cleaning make room for things in your life
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/i9ggQcTlMoo

The Art of Seduction ft. Dita Von Teese
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8on8i2M3dA8

Calm routine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTniB-wsgI0
slowly resetting my life 🌱 being gentler on myself
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8LEZHbk__Y&t=3s


•Setting Boundaries: Respect is only allowed people that support and encourage you. Life is about balance it takes team work so the friends in your life and family they need to be their support you. When their know support or love or people only coming around when they want you this not allowed respect comes with trust. Energy is earned not given it has to be exchange with energy over time
Setting boundaries
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNEaAfQwbDE
Self-Awareness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXzlxlDBYy0&t=237s
to do list
https://www.instagram.com/p/CiDKMVGrA2g/
Journal With Me: Guided Journaling for Beginners
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V14--j2qjvM&t=252s
Journal Prompts for Self Discovery, Healing, Growth ✨
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aPEJBRA8AA&t=99s


: Your inner Goddess
Affirmations For Women Claim Your Power
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2d1ssj1Ix8
Dita Von Teese: 'You can't dictate to a woman what should make her feel sexy'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5NCi0Q4vBM&t=22s
Take action
https://www.instagram.com/p/CiIf1NjM3bo/
What you deserve
https://www.instagram.com/p/CiFuzx6Np0Q/
That your process and journey is everything
https://www.instagram.com/p/ChxD9n4ts3T/
Women is equal
https://www.instagram.com/p/ChmnK_aj57d/
Dita Von Teese on Luxury & Self-Seduction
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYesAzd5Xjo
Erotica
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9U3odfIymDw&t=84s
dollMaker​(dom male)
2 months ago • Sep 8, 2022
dollMaker​(dom male) • Sep 8, 2022
A lot of self care, being kind to yourself, patient and in time, educate yourself. Learn all there is to learn about what you actually need from bdsm, your value as a human being and your value in a bdsm context.

Keep any thirst at bay, and don’t jump into something new to fill any longings. Take things very slowly and be very cautious re any new situations, make sure every aspect suits you, and will be of benefit to you.

I don’t know the context here, was this a case of the liftestyle and a flavour, way it was being too challenging, and ethical, considered, care based bdsm can no matter how well its been done, can take people places they could never imagine going, or was this an abusive poorly done thing. I don’t know which, and I am not asking, but regardless by educating yourself, taking any return slowly, it should I hope be possible for you to find a healthy flavour, and person, persons, that can give you a better more suitable fulfilling, uplifting experience.

I hope you find your way back, and wish you the best with your healing.
Miki​(masochist female)
2 months ago • Sep 8, 2022
Miki​(masochist female) • Sep 8, 2022
Same as the above, but shorter. Take a break from this shit... Maybe relationships in general, the amount of time off depends on your individual needs.

But avoid the rebound scene or silver-tongue doms (or not) .. Unfortunately, though not the majority, anyone doing this should expect and be wary they'll run into another tool like that one.

But don't be discouraged. if this is what you enjoy, it'll be fun again. And if you decide this kinky twisted shit isn't all some crack it up to be, feel free to go where your heart/desires lead you.