Is it Ghosting when ....

Miki • May 14, 2022

If they don't answer you, it's ghosting.

Fuck 'em and move on

Dom Pinnacle​(dom male) • Oct 12, 2022

Op ghosted me. No harm, no foul. Women need to take ghosting the way a (secure) man does. If you text him a question and he doesn't answer...at all. You have just been ghosted.

For me, ghosting is a helpful hint that the person you attempted to get to know is not for you.

NEVER take being ghosted personally. After all, if you've just met, they don't even know you.

So you can Casper the friendly ghost me and I still got love for ya...from a very long distance. The way it should be:)

fluffypoppet​(sub female){Protected} • Oct 12, 2022

Flip the question.

Am I ghosting someone if they don’t provide the information I need when vetting?
At what point is someone entitled to a response from me?

Being a sub can be overwhelming. Sometimes the inbox gets more active than I can really process or manage.

No ill intent is ever intended, but I’ve left a few folks on read because I couldn’t keep up. I’m kind when I can be and clear as I can be.

I’ve also experienced what the OP has- folks being rude when you have clearly expressed it is time to part ways.

For me… a random person that has exchanged a few messages with me on a website is not entitled to an explanation if I discontinue communication for any reason.

Things are a little less clear when the vetting process has moved further along. If I trusted you enough to give you access to me outside of the site, then I will give you the courtesy of expressly stating I don’t want anymore.

I don’t really know the answer to my own question… or to yours. I can totally back you on being the recipient of unwarranted hostility from the rejected party.

Dom Pinnacle​(dom male) • Oct 13, 2022

Yes you are. They are entitled if YOU feel they've been respectful. And if you just don't care to give a response, life goes on. If a Dom gets emotional when you ghost him, that's a BIG red flag. He ain't ready to lead you.



Absolutely correct. I asked OP a question and never heard back. If I took offense to that, I'm the fool. And my mama didn't raise no fool.

Zelia • Oct 13, 2022

If you message someone and they don’t reply that isn’t ghosting. You have to know someone for them to become a ghost.

I’ve had messages lately that are tiresome since I changed my name and profile. My messages are closed so it’s only people that have messaged me before that can message again. It’s amusing to see people not realise they have messaged before and send the same crap they send everyone. I don’t reply to them. Simply not interested. That is not ghosting lmao. That is prioritising your time.

Dom Pinnacle​(dom male) • Oct 13, 2022

You are correct. But to clarify in my case there was a back and forth before the ghosting. But yes, had I opened with a question that went unanswered, that's not ghosting. I just understand the game too well to be bothered by being ghosted. There's no telling what people are going through in their lives. So I'll never take it personal.

Miki • Oct 13, 2022

I just call it what it is. Ghosting is when the other party simply disappears without saying goodbye, in a nutsack.

Giving vague, circuitous, or otherwise useless answers is a horse with a different ass. They project non-interest and hope you (RHET) go away.

They're too lazy to even give you the brush-off and probably think they're being noble by not ghosting you.


In both instances, just say "bye" to the person-of-meaningless-words, and simply forget about fucking Casper.

Neither are worth a mouse's weight in yellow snow.

chattel​(sub female) • Oct 13, 2022

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I would say answering an initial curt question that is clearly in my profile only to be asked another question that is also answered in my profile without an introduction on the others part does not qualify as a "back and forth" at all.

Dom Pinnacle​(dom male) • Oct 13, 2022

Fair enough. I may have missed a detail in the profile. But you answered initially. I asked something else that I obviously missed in your profile and you just never answered.

To ghost is to give conversation, then take it away without actually saying why. But I never messaged again. Because It comes with the territory of the online dynamic. I don't hold it against you. So I'd hope you don't hold it against a guy that misses a detail in your profile.

Defender​(dom male) • Oct 14, 2022

If only Doms could also "prioritise their time" by knowing in advance who is worth sending a message to - and who isn't.

Because if there is not a specific exclusion in a profile - such as age, distance, seeking online only etc, then Doms either sit back and do nothing or they message - and message, and message....

And get ghosted - and ghosted, and ghosted.

So Doms often end up keeping their messages uber simple .
And maybe keep them short.

Then subs complain about the boring, samey, uninteresting messages they get.

That may be because it has become wearing and disheartening for a Dom, to endlessly "type Shakespeare into a vacuum".

On our side of the slash, we are often asked to understand the experiences that subs can have on here, and to sympathise.

I can, and I do.

However, if submissives feel that it should work both ways, then think twice, and maybe not be so dismissive about ghosting - unless someone is rude, or takes no notice of your "Thanks but no thanks".

Assuming, of course, that you have bothered to take the few seconds it takes to type "Thanks but no thanks,"