Estaria(sub female)
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2 years ago •
Oct 29, 2022
Dom Pinnacle wrote: Estaria wrote: The unhappy times are where I grow respect and love for my partner the most. I just want someone who can sit down and have a calm conversation without being defensive. I am emotional, definitely, but my partner needs to know how to bring me down from a 6 to a 1 and help me.
I'm loyal to a fault and I always told my ex....I would never judge him for any problem or issue he had, I would always help and understand...but the day he refuses to even try to fix his problems, that's the day I'm out. I just want effort, that's all. I know ppl aren't perfect, I don't expect them to be. It's a sad day when you realize the person who was supposed to be your person cares so little about the relationship they refuse to get help. Your replies give me the warm fuzzies. But I got my eye on you. Do you stay if he gets weak and slides into some foreign kitty kat? He's on point with everything else but slips up that one time. Go... Hahaha...then you're smart. It's gonna happen...one day you're gonna slip up and take your eye off me and then BAM...my opening! I can be very patient... 😈 🤣 Ppffttttt....that's a tough one. That depends on so many factors about the relationship. My last last relationship my partner cheated on my and I stayed, ultimately we split...but I stayed and wanted to make things work. The problem with that is that now you've lost my trust and I would be all up in your business until I felt I could trust you. Counceling can work miracles though, so I wouldn't say 100% I would be outta there so fast your head would spin...but I would have to consider my own boundaries and feelings. If we could learn to trust again then I could see myself staying, if I think I can't ever trust you again then I would leave. Mostly depends on the relationship thus far...how healthy is everything else? If everything is just amazing then I could see myself at least trying to fix things. Like I said, everyone makes mistakes. If I made a major mistake I would hope for a second chance. How can I expect that if I can't give it? |
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Online now
Dom Pinnacle(dom male)
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2 years ago •
Oct 29, 2022
Blondie, if you can, please break down what growing looks like to you, in your partner. Because we all have our own ideas of growth.
I'm a simple man. A submissive woman taking care of me like only she can is a beautiful thought. We will always work as a couple and individuals. But our growth as a sub/Dom pair is most important to me. She may be college educated...or not. Common sense has an edge over college sense...to me. I know some college educated idiots!!! LoL I'm just sayin'. |
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B L O N D I E(sub female)
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2 years ago •
Oct 29, 2022
Growth means working toward some goal. This works best when it's chosen by the individual in question -- pushing oneself to be better physically, intellectually, professionally -- whatever they think they need to work on. Not working to improve something means giving up on life.
Both partners in a couple are constantly changing. You can't stop this so it's just a question of how you're going to change -- either for the better or for the worse. The only way to stay together is to grow together and grow in the same areas together. Getting healthier together, building the relationship connection together, improving your sexual chops together, growing together professionally such as starting a business together, challenging each other intellectually together......That's what it looks like to me. I'm going to be doing these things regardless of what my partner is doing, so if I see my partner going slack and doing none of these things -- or, even worse, not even caring to stay with me as I grow -- then it isn't going to work. |
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Dom Pinnacle(dom male)
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2 years ago •
Oct 29, 2022
B L O N D I E wrote: Growth means working toward some goal. This works best when it's chosen by the individual in question -- pushing oneself to be better physically, intellectually, professionally -- whatever they think they need to work on. Not working to improve something means giving up on life.
Both partners in a couple are constantly changing. You can't stop this so it's just a question of how you're going to change -- either for the better or for the worse. The only way to stay together is to grow together and grow in the same areas together. Getting healthier together, building the relationship connection together, improving your sexual chops together, growing together professionally such as starting a business together, challenging each other intellectually together......That's what it looks like to me. I'm going to be doing these things regardless of what my partner is doing, so if I see my partner going slack and doing none of these things -- or, even worse, not even caring to stay with me as I grow -- then it isn't going to work. Understood. I feel like I just worked out. I'm hype, baby!!! I'm getting Wonder Woman energy from you. But submissive. Very interesting... |
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B L O N D I E(sub female)
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2 years ago •
Oct 29, 2022
That's me.
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Bunnie
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2 years ago •
Oct 29, 2022
To be honest, as I’ve spent more time in this way of life, and addressed my own stuff, my reasons to leave have become far fewer. I’ve really come to see that most things can simply be hurdles that can be overcome if there is a desire to keep choosing each other, and a willingness to communicate very honestly. No one makes the rules except those involved in the relationship, so the rules can be changed as much as is needed to make it work.
So, reasons I would leave: Harm to either myself or others. He no longer wants me. |
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Dom Pinnacle(dom male)
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2 years ago •
Oct 29, 2022
Bunnie wrote: To be honest, as I’ve spent more time in this way of life, and addressed my own stuff, my reasons to leave have become far fewer. I’ve really come to see that most things can simply be hurdles that can be overcome if there is a desire to keep choosing each other, and a willingness to communicate very honestly. No one makes the rules except those involved in the relationship, so the rules can be changed as much as is needed to make it work for those involved.
So, reasons I would leave: Harm to either myself or others. He no longer wants me. Ok...you are soooooo...Understanding. That's wisdom. You have touched me yet again, Bunnie. Keep it up and you're gonna get locked up. LoL! "Most things can simply be hurdles that can be overcome if there is a desire to keep choosing each other." Beautifully said. And I totally agree. We walk away too easily in these modern times. If we do the work, we all win. |
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Bunnie
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2 years ago •
Oct 29, 2022
Haha, @Dom Pinnacle, you give me too much credit! I’m just curious and go down a lot of rabbit holes, leading to way too much thinking
The gist of it is that we can alllllll be difficult to love. I think when we can truly learn to accept that about ourselves, it makes it so much easier to be forgiving that others are difficult also. From there we can see and respect each other with honesty instead of being caught up in the fear that we are unloveable. Being difficult to love does not mean unloveable… it simply means that it’s necessary to build a bridge of understanding between you (us) both. Of course as always, these things are much easier said than done lol 
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Dom Pinnacle(dom male)
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2 years ago •
Oct 29, 2022
So, the reason I posted this is due to the finalized divorce of Tom Brady and Gisele. Two people that seem to have it all. And their reason for the breakup (actually Gisele's reason)...they have grown apart. Tom came out of retirement to play one more year of football and she threw in the towel.
It just seemed to me that a divorce was overkill. People hit a snag in the relationship and turn into Jesse Owens heading for the hills. Lucky for him, she has more money, so it was amicable. I love the thought of marriage. But I hate the political aspect of it. Therefore I'll never allow the state into my romantic relationship. Yeah, that's right. I'll be married by the deep thinking weed man up the street. Haha |
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| MandatorySub |
2 years ago •
Oct 31, 2022
The internet is just way too tempting/accessible for some as well.
Even here, there are lots of Doms and subs in marriages they are neglecting to be on this site. Not working it out because some troubled person is easier to start from scratch with than dealing with reality. They are not in open relationships, they are complaining online to someone who clearly can't keep their own relationship together either. Sharing with strangers what they should be sharing with their real life spouse, partner, etc. Its very tempting. Its very easy. It happens everwhere (every site known to man), but I've met some folks who think being kinky makes it okay to avoid real life and be kinder to online friends than real life partners. But of course, there are 1,000 other reasons haha |
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