Platonic bdsm relationship with friend?

Platonic bdsm relationship with friend?

achallenge​(switch female) • Nov 15, 2022

Hello,

So I have been speaking to a friend who is interested in bdsm. The circumstances of it are a bit complicated for them for personal reasons. I wouldn’t mind providing what they need if that was something they were comfortable with because we are fairly close and we trust each other.

The question I have is if anyone else has made this choice? How did it effect your friendship? Did it end up ruining it in the long run?

Any advice would be most welcomed because I obviously don’t want to make any rash decisions. Nothing is happening yet. I thought I’d defer to people who might have more experience or understanding in the matter.

Miki • Nov 16, 2022

Friends with Kinky Benefits.. Very often.

In fact I exclusively went for those no-commitment hook-ups when I was active because I don't do long-term relationships.

Of course know where you're headed before taking that step. Be sure this "friend" is OK with it and doing this won't make their "complicated situation" worse.

If so, proceed slowly. Even friends can misrepresent their situations or be thinking through hormones rather than rational thought.

My hookups were "locals only" to me, known to me for some time and mostly single and unattached-- like-minded in that they don't do relationships either (no chance of surprise expectations or obligations)--- and well, a smattering of married dudes whose wives either didn't give a shit or had long since stopped acknowledging and taking care of their needs.

Anyway be careful, watch your step because in things like this instead of land mines you risk stepping into mounds of smelly, steaming dog crap. Enough to smoosh around your shoes and get into them.

An usavory scenario because this sort of "dogshit" doesn't come off, or at least not easily.

RuleMaker​(dom male) • Nov 16, 2022

I'm confused. In what sense would it be platonic? Platonic to me means friendship only.

Chalybe​(dom male) • Nov 19, 2022

Check out "Service Top", which is what I think is being described here. No feels, just one person scratching another's itch.

RestrainedJane • Nov 19, 2022

Isn’t this also known as a “play partner?”

I'mME • Nov 20, 2022

Op,I see you describe yourself as a Switch. My question is what role would you play with this person?
Your friend?

If they are brand new, then will y'all attend classes together to pick up skills?

Will your play include sex? What type?

Just the sex part could have the potential to make things complicated.

So you two are friends, that does not mean y'all will automatically make good play partners. How do you know if their kinks will align with your kinks?



These are just the things I thought of off the top or my head.


I understand and appreciate the fact that you 'trust' them so that (in your mind) may equate to a 'good play partner.'

But the questions/thoughts I wrote above are things that popped into my mind.



Humans are complicated animals.

Chalybe​(dom male) • Nov 20, 2022

[/quote]
Isn’t this also known as a “play partner?”[/quote]

After thinking about it, and reading the reply above, no, I don't think "Service Top" and "Play Partner" are the same thing. The reply above (I'mME) sounds like "play partner" - kinks aligning, developing a better play together, etc.
Service Top could even be a submissive that is ordered to do certain things to the Dom(me) a certain way.

I've done "Service Top". Sub wants you to do X, Y, and Z. Y and Z really don't do anything for me, but I agree to do those things for the sub's gratification. It's not about my fun, it is about helping someone else.