Live-In Slaves

I'mME • Mar 11, 2023

Machpa,

I'm going to disagree with your analysis of f Doms. I know that there are as many different types of f Doms as there are m Doms. All the advice that is given regarding f subs can be applied to m subs. All this posturing that goes on when someone makes a post, then different groups get upset bc they feel the language is excluding them needs to stop. I read a lot, I mean here, Fet, and any other places I may land, about different topics regarding the lifestyle.
My answer is coming from when people (males, females, trans, gay) are seeking advice. People answer based on what their experiences are, not in an exclusionary fashion.
Do you understand what I mean?
Ex.
You say m Doms are always trying to pressure you to move in. People would advise a f sub that anyone pressuring them to do anything could be a red flag, correct?

Why can't you look at the same way?

I would like your thoughts on what I wrote, when you have time!


Nonya

machpa​(sub male) • Mar 11, 2023

I suppose everyone's reasoning, current situation,and what they are seeking can be a little different. I would say for alot of people in general that is excellent advice, but I wouldn't say it's always true for everyone. I am a very flexible person and I find it very easy to just adjust with new situations and people, It is a something that has always came naturally to me. When I was 17 years old I traveled to Naples Florida,over 1000 miles away, lived a year with a completely random woman I met the day I got there. I have always been attracted to the unknown,I thrive on it at times. I'm not advising anyone what to do, but If women were as forward as most of the men I have met online, I would have leaped a long time ago and been involved and very happy with someone. I would get into my experiences thus far but it would take far too long and And not really accomplish anything. Opportunity after opportunity have been all but thrown at my feet time and time again by men,and I never even sent them a message.But I have experienced almost the complete opposite from dominant females, message after message,thousands of words,profiles,etc so much time invested, It's a completely different ball game. If women contacted me like the men did i would have found it to Enticing to say the least and not a red flag. Regardless It's nothing to argue about. What attracts someone and what they seek Is different for everyone. If I had The Choice of a endless chase, or being optimistic and taking a leap, I would definitely go for the unknown, these sort of opportunities rarely come, The last thing I would do is just pass one up Because it made me nervous

slaveTPECNC • Mar 12, 2023

It is more mental than physical. Some slaves like me, in the start of an agreed live in dynamic where it is TPE I have been put thru an initiation weeks like boot camp where I am caned, whipped or beaten for any reason ,any time, to disconnect my ideas of what it should look like and learn to follow the lead of the owner.. awoken in middle of a deep sleep gagged and caned hard to sobbing and then back to sleep.... sleep deprivation and the mind fuck to learn who owns who. Most I have been owned by I slept with them in collar, between legs with my face.. always living for the owner fully.

It is agreed on and a contract written

machpa​(sub male) • Mar 12, 2023

That is ideally what sort of situation I would like to find!!

machpa​(sub male) • Mar 12, 2023

I grew up in a very similar fashion And I thrive In that sort of relationship, Very few people understand

psychotherapist​(dom female) • Mar 12, 2023

not at all. a huge part of those “maledoms” turns to be just an abusive, disrespectful fake-dom type of men.

I'mME • Mar 12, 2023

Machpa,

What arguing ? What exactly in my comment said I was arguing. You will need to be specific. I gave you what I know to be true and experienced from the aisle.
I also never, ever, wrote that women and men are the same. What I wrote is that the same advice that is given out to f subs can be used by male subs (take female subs out of your head) out in what we you want.

I QUIT. I reread what I wrote, it seems pretty clear what I'm saying.
How I read comment and I was second guessing myself, however I stopped.

I'm not sure what comment you read , but my words are clear.

What is also clear is that you want to complain how hard it is and how unique you are.

I QUIT I RESIGN.

Six Foot Four • Mar 12, 2023

As multiple respondents have stated, whatever you decide is whatever you decide. The TPE component means that all authority passes from the submissive to their dominant. He has total authority; the right, but not the obligation, to decide anything for you within whatever realms y'all have negotiated for. The 24/7 bit means there's no such thing as an on/off switch. Some folks want TPE only in the bedroom or in the house or not-at-work and some want it always. The live-in bit just means you live together and might be the best way to really immerse yourself in your roles, but realize that often work and family and life situations will arise and need to be dealt with together.

It’s been my experience that most TPE couples from the outside just look like normal couples, though one might defer to the other all the time and some folks might find it odd or abusive. Ordering for someone in a restaurant could be viewed as old-fashioned or controlling or it could be viewed as the Master informing the slave of their desires depending on your lens.

Shall we engage in Real Talk for a moment? A one bedroom apartment in LA is going to cost you slightly less than 30K/year. If you are making $100K on the coasts in or near major metropolitan areas, you are barely getting by. Most people don’t make 100K, so most likely both of you will have to work. Are you prepared to move to a cheaper location to make the live-in component work? Others have raised good points; there is a lot to talk about and each dynamic is different because the people in them are different.

As a submissive, what you need to realize is that y’all can be a lot of work. Some subs like to talk about their submission as a gift. Gifts don’t come with strings; they are freely given from the giver to the receiver. What you are actually offering is a full-time unpaid job that requires being on-call. And if you want micromanagement? Hoo-boy! Take that second job and add a third unpaid, full-time on-call job to it. Micromanagement is like taking a normal BDSM relationship, raising it by an order of magnitude and then turning it up to eleven. That’s how much work micromanagement can be.

Micromanagement is naturally required in some situations when folks are new to their roles, be it in life itself or in a relationship or in the workplace. New persons don’t know what’s good and what’s bad and what’s safe and what’s not-safe. You teach them and if you as a leader do a good job, and they as a subordinate do a good job, over time they’ll need less and less oversight and can be trusted to do things the way you want them done. Micromanagement can be funsies occasionally, but for me, as an all-the-time lifestyle choice, hard limit. I expect my property to have a brain and use it.

Some people write out ninety-eight page contracts replete with every little thing, but unless both participants have an eidetic memory, that creates a situation ripe for failure. I’m unlikely to remember every detail in a long document, and I’m guessing you’re unlikely to either. I prefer to assess where both parties are in their lives, where they want to go, how they’ll get there together, and then create a plan.

I’m not actually opposed to the way sTC described it, but I have never formed a dynamic with someone who was already in the BDSM world; both of my LTRs have been with girls met in the vanilla world. I didn’t want to overwhelm a new partner, so I started small with a few guidelines and as those changes took hold and transitioned from ‘new thing’ to ‘normal,’ I added in further guidelines that established boundaries for her to operate within.

I had…or have, I suppose… what we called 24/7 TPE. Didn’t start there; came as a bit of a surprise. There came a time when I was negotiating at work all day and I didn’t want to negotiate at home anymore. She was a control freak, and wanted to be able to let go completely; responsible, but not in charge. 24/7 TPE was where we ended up and it worked well for her and I for a long time. I have her blanket consent for anything and everything indefinitely. The way I describe it is 'I do whatever I want, and she does whatever I want.' Now, did I ever expect that I’d use her consent to curtail our M/s activities and eventually stop them completely? Nope. But that’s what you’re asking in a TPE; you’re asking your Master to assume total control of and for your well-being.

I don’t know if DXX’s study is right, but I have had several subs ask me out of the blue if I would be willing to have them move in with me. I….huh? What? That it’s happened more than once is just... *shrugs*

I'mME • Apr 4, 2023

Great advice about the munches and getting out to meet people in real life.

GigglesthrupainO​(sub trans woman)​{Free submi} • Apr 13, 2023

I can tell you after being in a Femdom relationship that was 24/7 365 for 6 years. There were no chains or cages. There was mowing the yard, cleaning the house and serving ex-Mistress her drinks and food as a maid. For me I would compare it to a marriage just with one partner being in control of everything. Depending on what is negotiated.