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Drawing the line for Taboos

Bunnie
1 year ago • Nov 24, 2022
Bunnie • Nov 24, 2022
“Prohibited or restricted by social custom.”

Technically, as far as mainstream vanilla is concerned, our whole way of life is taboo. Drawing the line for taboos is a very individual, personal thing based on the story and experiences of your life, beliefs, values and morals. And perhaps there’s a possibility they may even shift over time when you find yourself in a safe, committed relationship dynamic. It really is simply a set of limits.
missusK​(sub female)
1 year ago • Nov 25, 2022
missusK​(sub female) • Nov 25, 2022
This is exactly why I'm always so hesitant of people who have no limits written in their profiles, or simply state, "my limits are my subs", or "I do what I'm told."
You're waiting for a long line of heartache, confusion, and sometimes embarrassment if you don't do your research and set limits accordingly.

Also, I believe that we teach others how we want to be treated. If we don't know our limits, there are others who certainly won't respect them.

Be firm with what you want, and what you don't. If you don't know, then say that too, but never ever pretend or go along with something that makes you uncomfortable becasue you're a sub, or any other reason.

Here's a great site with plenty of info on limits and where to research kinks you're unsure of.

https://submissiveguide.com/dsrelationships,%20safety,%20personalgrowth,%20fundamentals/series/series-limits

Good luck.
MasterBear​(other butch)
1 year ago • Nov 25, 2022
MasterBear​(other butch) • Nov 25, 2022
My boundaries have changed as I have gotten older.
Basically now- I dont do anything where the other parties cannot give explicit consent.

Everything else is open.
I'mME
1 year ago • Mar 18, 2023

Re: Drawing the line for Taboos

I'mME • Mar 18, 2023
Little Vixie wrote:
Just because I'm naturally curious, where do yall draw the line at for taboos.

I never thought I'd have to be specific with my hard limits until a single conversation of being asked if I am okay with incest. They asked if I was into age gaps and incest. I feel like age gaps are okay unless it's a minor, but incest had me asking what they meant. After listening to why they want to mess around with their family, I realized that I need to specify how hard of a limit that is for me. How does one politely recommend help.




I'm not clear on what you are relaying here
You are not family to the person with whom you were having the conversation. Do you mean they wanted to role play that y'all were family? Incest role play?

I'm not sure why you would Want to tell them they need help?
Miki​(masochist female)
1 year ago • Mar 18, 2023
Miki​(masochist female) • Mar 18, 2023
Taboos, Hard Limits. ---- Nothing illegal, be it incest or where one's age is even remotely questionable... but along with that, (for me anyway) :

Absolutelty no severe bruising, broken bones, and NO hard blows to the head -- No Serious physical harm, period.

No Placing me in fear of my life even by only capitalizing on a disability of mine that makes me vulnerable (deaf/mute)----as mere suggestions of a sadist I used to know in here would put me in (He did not mean to, but made me wonder and think long and hard)

All Taboo for me too. Everyone has their limits and the above are personal examples along with the Legal taboos.

Don't hang too much on the word or concept of "Taboo" in its legal sense.

Just be firm-- "Taboo is anything that's not only a non-starter, but a reason to tell the other to go shit in their hat".
I'mME
1 year ago • Mar 18, 2023
I'mME • Mar 18, 2023
@Miki,

Is this addressed to me ? I'm not sure but I will share my views further.
Taboo mena s different things to different people no matter what the Webster dictionary writes.

My comment asked a pointed question , bc OP stated that the potential (idk play date partner, hook-up, ??????) was discussing incest with them.
Incest is determined by two people who engage in sex that are related by blood, they are kin folk, they can share some genetic code.(but don't have to under some state law, discretion left to judge)

So I ce again my question to the Op is the person wanted the OP to role play w/an incest theme in mind? They 2antee her to watch them and his mother have sex , or their sister, or ?????

I'm someone who will ask questions directly if the person if I don't understand, it's the best way to understanding the person who is trying to explain.

I could go and ask that person over there or over here but I like to get my information straight from the horses mouth (not that OP is a horse) . I have always been like this. If people think and say it, then I figure if I have a question , they are my best resource.
If they choose not to answer, then I will be left with what is written and what I can intelligently deduce.

The statement on people's profile
If nothing illegal always makes me shake my head.
Miki​(masochist female)
1 year ago • Mar 20, 2023
Miki​(masochist female) • Mar 20, 2023
@ I'mMe:

Sorry it looked that way. Not directed at you at all. Truth be told I wandered out to left field with that post, and worse, I did not make it clear enough that the "other member" I mentioned did not harm me in the least. Quite the opposite. We messaged back and forth a bit, then the topic got to BDSM and he wrote what he likes do do in "sadist mode"-- At first it got me interested but I re-read and considered it and decided it was not somewhere I should go. I was going to meet the guy, as of all people in here he's the closest, about an hour travel. But because I realized I was not as into being a heavy masochist any more I nixed that idea. That and I am a problematic "date" communication hurdles and all that. Anyway we messaged a few more times and he moved on. Can't blame him but he never wrote anything angry or sarcastic or negative at all. He's a great guy and that's how people who meet either Online or in person should do this. Put stuff on the table and be honest about it. Thgat member is overall a very nice guy, but "sadist mode" wasn't something I'd be into any more. He's still in here but doesn't post to forums, not that I know f, has a gret job he enjoys-- most of the time and keeps this stuff separate and private.
I just wanted to clear that in case anyone thought I was hurt at all by anyne in here. Nope. As I said, the opposite. Would that all doms or sadists were like that.


I'mME wrote:
@Miki,

Is this addressed to me ? I'm not sure but I will share my views further.
Taboo mena s different things to different people no matter what the Webster dictionary writes.

My comment asked a pointed question , bc OP stated that the potential (idk play date partner, hook-up, ??????) was discussing incest with them.
Incest is determined by two people who engage in sex that are related by blood, they are kin folk, they can share some genetic code.(but don't have to under some state law, discretion left to judge)

So I ce again my question to the Op is the person wanted the OP to role play w/an incest theme in mind? They 2antee her to watch them and his mother have sex , or their sister, or ?????

I'm someone who will ask questions directly if the person if I don't understand, it's the best way to understanding the person who is trying to explain.

I could go and ask that person over there or over here but I like to get my information straight from the horses mouth (not that OP is a horse) . I have always been like this. If people think and say it, then I figure if I have a question , they are my best resource.
If they choose not to answer, then I will be left with what is written and what I can intelligently deduce.

The statement on people's profile
If nothing illegal always makes me shake my head.
Fyglia Wicked​(dom female)
1 year ago • Mar 20, 2023

Found the groomer

Fyglia Wicked​(dom female) • Mar 20, 2023
Chalybe wrote:
Agree with TSG,
Some people I have run into think it is pretty sick to tie someone up and take a flogger to them. Tieing someone up and taking a flogger to them is considered assault and battery in most places, even between consenting adults, New York State being an exception.

And reading the linked thread, some sub females seem to enjoy the activity discussed here. Actual incest is illegal in most of the US I believe, if not all. If it is a fantasy between two consenting (unrelated) adults, who is harmed? They are more likely to stay out of jail than me with my flogger.

TSG, I'd like to direct your attention to exhibit B, Genesis 19:14 where Lot's daughters get him drunk and have sex with him, the verse then calmly gives the names of the resulting children, no big deal.

I think we need to be careful when we start to kink shame. Tell the guy it squicks you, fine. Telling them they need help? I don't think that is appropriate.

As the old saying goes, people who live in glass houses....
Miss Anima​(dom female)
1 year ago • Mar 20, 2023
Miss Anima​(dom female) • Mar 20, 2023
If it's not consensual its abuse...
Nothing to be polite about when dealing with people who sexually abuse
Minors or animals..
Only help those people need is not to keep wasting air..
autisticbarbie
1 year ago • Mar 20, 2023
autisticbarbie • Mar 20, 2023
I am not polite; I just tell those people to go away. There are a lot of stupid people on this site who will try you as a submissive female. If I took the time to counsel every jerk who sent me a message here I wouldn't have time to work or sleep. I do appreciate that you want to communicate this politely; I'd probably mention something about my BDSM checklist or something. Don't feel bad about strictly communicating your boundaries and limits. It's an important aspect of remaining safe online and avoiding being manipulated by predators.