marsha xo wrote:
Same old same old group stands together no matter what on that other post instead of using listening skills, understanding and guidance.
I could see why you feel that way. I'd like to think that I'm a part of that group BECAUSE I've demonstrated listening skills, understanding and guidance. If you feel I didn't show that, I apologise.
That thread was a mess. It's worth noting that one of the participants got banned for the exact same sort of behavior he demonstrated in that thread.
You are correct in saying the other one took my criticism well, but he then went back and tried to make more generalizations about subs and the discussion under the guise of 'political correctness', which you endorsed and encouraged with more generalizations.
Let me be clear; the rules and code of conduct on this site are well laid out. If you disagree, perhaps this isn't the right place for you, but I hope you stay. Just please avoid generalizations. This is a highly diverse group that defies those sort of general rules.
The folks that have spoken out have received these sorts of comments often publically and privately and seen good friends suffer and leave the site because of them.
I'll admit there is some prejudice in that, but I'd hope you can understand the reasoning behind it.
I don't think it's fair to call Savida's behavior passive agressive. Site rules prohibit naming names, so it's difficult to walk that line at times. Was there a bit of sarcasm in her approach? Yep. Can't argue with that, but I honestly think she and others are genuinely puzzled and curious about the motivation and success rate of those types of communications.
It's been my experience that the Doms who use language like that never explain or clarify why they do so, nor have I seen a sub speak up to say "I met someone like that and they're a kind and good person".
Sav was right to break off that off topic question. I'd encourage you to do the same regarding your feelings about the 'same old group'. I've seen and known about every member of that group showing compassion and understanding to new folks. If there are new folks who feel otherwise, I'd encourage them to speak up, either publically or privately to me. I'll be happy to make sure their viewpoint is heard too.
You don't have to like Sav, and she doesn't have to like you, but please discuss the issues and ideas. You're both smart and can speak for yourselves. I'd like to hear more from both of you.
I'm not always right, and I'd enjoy and welcome more civil.discussion and criticism when I'm not. Usually the other side just uses ad hominem attacks when their ideas are refuted fairly and intelligently, or simply deletes my comments and blocks me.
I've yet to block a single person and do apologise when I'm wrong.
Nobody is wrong here, but the discussion is drifting towards ad hominem. Let's not do that.