Non sexual sadistic domination

Non sexual sadistic domination

rogue w • Jul 3, 2023

I'm in a new dynamic with a friend of mine and her husband. He is a soft dom and would like for me to guide him. We take turns picking her clothes out, assigning chores and tasks, she is punished with a point score t in which at the end of the day I give him. The problem is her and I have a non sexual aspect, but she requires of Me domination in all other things, she craves non sexual sadistic domination. Which is something new to me. I would be grateful for any ideas or advice

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Jul 3, 2023

I often relate a relationship I had with an s type back in the late 90s. This was a woman who was engaged to a guy who put her on a pedestal. This woman could not do anything wrong is this guy's eyes.

She hated it. She wanted to be corrected. She wanted to be told off. So she came to me. The end result was she came to my apartment and cleaned it for me. I would follow her around and criticize her work and make her do it over again.

The only thing she took off close wise was her shoes and socks. Got to satisfy that foot fetish of mine.

Miki • Jul 3, 2023

Being a third wheel can be a recipe for a bad day at the office, so to speak.

You don't mention it, so I'll ask, rhetorically, is the husband aware of this prelediction of hers and your non-sexual dalliance? That he asks for advice and guidance, and you guys pick out her clothes and give her a score at the end of the day doesn't mean he's jake with you and her playing in a different sand box-- again, unless he's all-in with it.

This kind of happy horseshit is still outside the box even in this day and age, when it comes to married couples unless both are OK with it.

Having said that, if this broad is looking out the window because she's not getting what she needs from her home life, their marriage is destined to head down the crapper as it is...

Don't be the one to pull the chain.

Don't Be That Guy!

Through it all, down the line (or pipe) you'll only end up feeling shitty about it.

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Disclaimer: I can only go by what I read in the header post so my response comes with a free salt shaker.

aradialspire​(dom femme) • Jul 3, 2023

Yes! IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE!

Now it's hard to create specific tasks when I don't know this person's psychology or what drives them (this is a future hint to anyone that's seeking any kind of dom/domme) but there ARE SO MANY WAYS to dominate someone outside of a sexual context.

Assign them the task of being your alarm clock. As soon as she wakes up in the morning, she needs to be in that SERVICE mindset. This is one of the most best ways of getting started for the day (if she has sexual service duties for the co-dom, she can do those first then send you your wakeup call just to keep life sane for everyone.) Beware though, subs can get crafty and schedule these and I have caught them doing it before especially on the weekend!

If your sub is open to degradation, consider having them act as human furniture as part of a punishment. Footstool or table is ideal, the length of a Netflix show for your medium range infraction but you can make her go for a 1-2 hours like that if it's something REAL serious. (I say this because some people have traumas that preclude them from this kind of play, always be considerate of that.)

I once had a brat decide that they were real tough and being a footstool wasn't shit. So I made them separate out all the pasta and rice pieces from a family sized box of Rice-a-Roni into two separate bowls. Then they dumped the contents of each bowl on the floor where they had to kneel on it AND be human furniture. Never heard about how easy that shit was again.

Speech restrictions can be EXTRAORDINARILY effective as a nonsexual punishment. Also binding parts of the body, like an elastic strap or belt around the thighs or ankles, while they do their everyday chores. Not enough to completely hobble them, but to remind them of what they are.

Also remember impact and pet play are also within the realm of the nonsexual so you have a lot of options to explore! I know it can be challenging but really just try to expand your mindset outside of what's traditionally considered sexually fulfilling and think about what will get at her emotionally. How can you instill obedience in her, make her feel lesser (but not devalued, because she's not) and put her in her proper place?

Codomming is such a weird space to be in, bless you!

I'mME • Jul 3, 2023

aradialspire,

In reading your answer, you mentioned if a sub is into degradation then serving as human furniture being a method of domming.
Serving as furniture seemed to turn into punishments, did you mean funishments?

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Jul 3, 2023

Not all human furniture is "punishment".

I find objectification can be a very interesting form of servitude. Specially when coupled with full body latex.

aradialspire​(dom femme) • Jul 3, 2023

Being a footstool, a table, or even a beverage cozy isn't always a punishment, it can be a simple act of service. It can also be an act of obedience and devotion! The brat with the family sized box of Rice-a-Roni under their knees did not find it to be much of a funishment, haha.

But no, I meant that as more of a reminder to have a conversation with your submissive before you engage in certain kinds of play. As in, "if they have a history of childhood trauma or prior abuse, this may need to be removed from the repertoire completely." If they have something in their history like that, and you engage in degradation, it can dredge that stuff up and it is not pretty. Those conversations need to be had ahead of time for the safety and sanity of all involved.

I'mME • Jul 3, 2023

Topeka,

Not being a smart ass, I know all human furniture is punishment . ..

I know about objectification too.
I thought I was questioning why serving as furniture to turned/slipped into using it for punishment.

Is it that the idea that degrading a sub is punishing a sub?

I don't know, it's why I ask questions ..

Somehow it has become a bad thing to ask people questions.

That's some bullshit and I will not be picking up that line of thinking EVER.

I'm not a kind person or so this new way of thinking these days wants people to believe.

I hope you can guess what I think about this new attitude out here.
Im old school. I like the aspects of mental domination .
It would never fly for me to mix up sexual shit with some rule that I was not able to do.
Or task that bc of life I could not complete.

I hope you understand the things that I am choosing NOT to write out here.

Disclaimer : this is not directed at whom I posed my question too. Noe is this directed at Topeka.



And this is not A RANT.

Miki • Jul 5, 2023

IDK what I can add that would be useful but the original topic was about "non sexual sadistic domination" but here goes.

Being human furniture and similar humiliation / degradation is highly erotic for me even as only a sexual maso-girl and not a "real" sub-- As such it would not be "punishment" at all...

But on the topic of non-sexual sadistic domination.. All I can say to that is it's probably mind-play and I'll never allow such a situation because, given my other challenges, as in communication, [but not restricted to that]... sadistic mind-play can damage me, hence it's a hard limit. That and, in general as far as I can see, a "sadist" is someone who gets their rocks off exacting pain or torment that the recipient would absolutely NOT enjoy.