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Victim Blaming and Rape Culture in Kink

I'mME
1 year ago • Aug 20, 2023
I'mME • Aug 20, 2023
Solace wrote:
I'mME,

You're grandstanding.

I never said it was a ladies fault for being raped. I suggest you check your reading comprehension, re-read what I and others have written, slowly, word for word, out loud, several times.

I said, it was the mans responsibility to have his hard hat. An analogy to say that he is responsible for knowing how to keep himself safe and acting to keep himself safe. It is not his fault for being hurt, that blame resides with his coworker. We have the same policy in kink. Dom's keep the subs safe, but the sub is still responsible for knowing that they are being kept safe and acting to keep themselves safe. It is not a subs fault when they get hurt, but we should all be horridly ashamed of ourselves if we don't encourage and teach other people to learn and act in the interests of their own safety. This dialog that is being pushed right now, is harmful to everyone.

For these two topics threads in question...No where, anywhere has anyone said its a ladies fault for getting raped, said a topless photo is an invitation to be an asshole or even specifically defended men. These are all escalations that you and djinni have grasped without context by imputing your own bias into the discussion. I applaud djinni for taking a stand and saying rape and rape blaming are bad, because they are, but its also bad to slander others so casually. It's disservice to the people wrongly named, and a cheapening of the actual horrid acts.

You are absolutely correct that no one no knows the contents of that sweet girls message box. What you fail to grasp is you and and djinni are the only ones assuming the contents of the box. For all we know her messages are roses and chocolates, after all she left a positive review of them and nothing negative to say aside from quantity. I too believe there is a fair number of crude messages crammed in there, but it is neither my nor your right to judge the contents or what that sweet girl desired in them. Therefore there is no victim here, and there is no men to defend.

If she gets on today and say the experience is horrible, she hates it, and men are all so rude...the conversation flips. Everyone will support her. Right now there is no substance for this.





I read quite well and have a great comprehension skills. Grandstanding?
You should quit with the gaslighting that you try on these pages. Granstanding is exactly the word for what what you did in your comment to the OP.

I read your words, and you gave an analogy that SAID it was the guy who didn't wear the hard hat on the construction site fault if something fell on his head . Then as an after thought you added and the person responsible who let it fall. Which you are now directly contradicting below.

BESIDES THE FACT, that the rest of this long drawn out , insulting reply, was nowhere in your comment to the OP on this forum question. You know damn good and well i used the word analogy, so i would say only one of us is lacking reading comprehension.


*I never said it was a ladies fault for being raped. I suggest you check your reading comprehension, re-read what I and others have written, slowly, word for word, out loud, several times.

*I said, it was the mans responsibility to have his hard hat. An analogy to say that he is responsible for knowing how to keep himself safe and acting to keep himself safe. It is not his fault for being hurt, that blame resides with his coworker. We have the same policy in kink. Dom's keep the subs safe, but the sub is still responsible for knowing that they are being kept safe and acting to keep themselves safe. It is not a subs fault when they get hurt, but we should all be horridly ashamed of ourselves if we don't encourage and teach other people to learn and act in the interests of their own safety. This dialog that is being pushed right now, is harmful to everyone.*
I'mME
1 year ago • Aug 20, 2023
I'mME • Aug 20, 2023
Solace


*We can also sit here and say victim blaming is a horrible thing, and in many instances it is terrible. However, a man who goes a construction site with out a hard hat on and gets injured should be blamed. As should the person who caused the accident*

Those are your words, (you contradict yourself and in such a nasty manner, insulting me as your usual behavior) and this is the words i commented back to.

I didnt make any subject up, you changed the subject in your nasty comment back to me.
When i have time i will read the rest of what i will gather is more of your BS insults to me, changing what was the actual words were.
Satindragon{Not Lookin}
1 year ago • Aug 20, 2023
Satindragon{Not Lookin} • Aug 20, 2023
I think it's time we all acted like adults and shut this thread down.

It has gone from a discussion over how to handle an overflowing inbox to bashing fellow members. Which is against site policy.

It is one thing to have a heated debate but a whole other ball park to attack each other.

Then you wonder why people don't write any more.

The behavior here only insures that people who want to voice an opinion or ask a question won't for fear of being attacked.
I'mME
1 year ago • Aug 20, 2023
I'mME • Aug 20, 2023
I'mME wrote:
Solace


*We can also sit here and say victim blaming is a horrible thing, and in many instances it is terrible. However, a man who goes a construction site with out a hard hat on and gets injured should be blamed. As should the person who caused the accident*

Those are your words, (you contradict yourself and in such a nasty manner, insulting me as your usual behavior) and this is the words i commented back to.

I didnt make any subject up, you changed the subject in your nasty comment back to me.
When i have time i will read the rest of what i will gather is more of your BS insults to me, changing what was the actual words were.


*These are all escalations that you and djinni have grasped without context by imputing your own bias into the discussion.*

First of all, you need to stop with your bullshit. I commented on the words written here on this forum post. I am my own critical thinking brain. The 2 comments that i read here about short skirt and bare tits, i 100% agree that if someone said these things as excuses for her getting lots mail, YES, they are basically saying that she gets what she gets, whether it's mail or anything else. She deserves it. This is what I understood djinni to be writing about.

And That is what they ARE inferring.
You need to quit thinking that you are some kind of philosopher when it's apparent that you don't pay attention to what is written.

I asked you a damn question. But you turned it as usual into your personal field of lording over us peasants.

I warned you, remember, the first time you brought your garbage to my door? Telling me to be silent. Idk who you think you are, but to me, you are just a person who doesn't hear anybody else but your damn self who is wrong half the time.
I'mME
1 year ago • Aug 20, 2023
I'mME • Aug 20, 2023
Satindragon wrote:
I think it's time we all acted like adults and shut this thread down.

It has gone from a discussion over how to handle an overflowing inbox to bashing fellow members. Which is against site policy.

It is one thing to have a heated debate but a whole other ball park to attack each other.

Then you wonder why people don't write any more.

The behavior here only insures that people who want to voice an opinion or ask a question won't for fear of being attacked.


Well that's all well and good to shit something down. What now that someone as standing up to being attacked. You didnt have a problem with what he wrote to me which is filled with half truths and outright lies. Insulting me. Did I insult him in my original comment? I asked him a question. I get back a diatribe .
Horror Business​(dom male)
1 year ago • Aug 20, 2023
Horror Business​(dom male) • Aug 20, 2023
Imma just throw down a shitpost regarding the stupidity of the hardhat analogy.
As someone who has written plenty of incident reports after industrial injuries, I can say with certainty that, while failure to wear proper PPE would absolutely be documented, it never makes the incident "more" the fault of the injured person than if PPE was worn / worn correctly.

Taking it further, hard hats are meant to reduce the extent of impact from one hit. There's no less fault on the person responsible for someone getting smacked in the head just because a hard hat stopped them from being injured more severely (hopefully).

"putting nudes up will get you harassed more" is literally the exact same rationale as pointing out what a rape victim was wearing.

By all means, put on a hard hat and let someone swing a sledgehammer down on it.