Slap Happy ?

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Oct 12, 2023

I don't think you're a troll. I do think you have some serious introspection to do. So that you're able to listen to others' opinions without it triggering you. Without trying to shoot them down.

Many of us have taken the time to answer you in good faith. You haven't heard a word.

You have suffered immense personal trauma. And I'm so sorry for that. I'm familiar with the need to... Assert and reclaim oneself. But you don't do that successfully without looking inside oneself first. And preparing the ground to actually hear what others say.

aPeepingMom​(sub female) • Oct 12, 2023

This is not Silent Consent and I doubt argument or defense would ever be upheld in a court of law when used in a domestic abuse case.

CarmenZ • Oct 12, 2023

@Sincorrigible

thank you for trying to explain, it is well appreciated. Having said that, I must tell you that at no point in time was I triggered or angered by any of the comments here on this thread. I made every attempt tp answer all the comments as best as I could.

I haven't insulted or mocked anyone. I haven't called anyone a 'troll' and I haven't told anyone to 'fuckoff'. If you can show me at what point you think I was triggered or trolling another member, please point it out so I can apologize.

Purĕ • Oct 12, 2023

So You gave him consent,hm ?
Because you stayed.

And, I always make sure that I only open MY mouth when I know what I'm talking about.

So You are an abuse victim as well,... makes it even worse that You wrote something like that about US.

You did Yourself very ugly with that post. very very ugly.

CarmenZ • Oct 12, 2023

@Purĕ​

"You did Yourself very ugly with that post. very very ugly"

oh well, guess I'll have to deal with being ugly, very very ugly.

aPeepingMom​(sub female) • Oct 12, 2023

@CarmenZ - I would like to apologize for being harsh. I was quiet triggered by the comments made, and lashed out in anger.

What I was prepared to say - even though you stated you didn’t care to hear it - was that as a survivor of domestic abuse, I had a very similar reaction as you to things like choking and face slapping. I never thought I’d enjoy it, let alone ask for it, in any way shape or form.

Had a random person suggested it out of the blue, as someone did with you, I would have reacted the exact same way.

What I discovered, however, is that once I found someone I trusted, I became open to the idea. I allowed him to slap me across the face. I allowed him to wrap his hand around my neck and choke me, his eyes piercing mine. And that… the CONSENT I gave him, willingly and fully… was one of the most liberating and empowering moments of my entire life.

The first time he slapped me without warning me first… he had already received my permission, he just didn’t prep me like he had before… I orgasmed instantly and will never, ever forget it.

My point is that the beauty of this BDSM journey (for me) is that I’ve discovered things I had never imagined I’d enjoy. I’ve experienced things that have changed my life, rocked my world. And allowing these things to happen, with my consent, has empowered me in beautiful ways.

Hold your ground with your limits, but allow yourself the freedom - and permission - to explore the possibilities. Once you find someone you trust, you may surprise yourself!

Bunnie • Oct 13, 2023

@CarmenZ,

Sometimes we can be triggered without realising. This is the beauty of discussion

I can’t count the number of times this has happened to me, until I sit back and acknowledge the discomfort and ask why it is affecting me so strongly.

Having answered before reading the other responses, I overlooked this:

‘I received this:

"sometimes I urge to get physically rough in a sense of taking a good hold on your throat and slap you on your face tight" ‘

Going solely off this snippet of the conversation that you share… A hold on the throat with a slap to the face brought to mind, for you, being strangled and punched in the face. That’s a pretty big jump. Trauma often takes us to the extreme version of what may actually simply be nothing more than what is stated. Reading further through and seeing that you come from a background of violence, it does make sense that this may seem like an act of violence, regardless of whether it’s consensual or not. And it does explain your seeking of answers as to why someone might enjoy inflicting that kind of “harm” (in your mind) (perhaps “hurt” in the minds of others).

The desire to hurt or be hurt, is not the same as the desire to harm or being helpless against being harmed. In my world there is a huge difference between violence (the intention to cause harm) and the way in which we choose to participate in this way of life (even if we enjoy hurting or being hurt). Yes, consent is the major factor, but so too is intent. Someone who acts out with violence has a very different intent (and agenda) than someone who wishes to explore hurting/being hurt with consent. It’s really only through addressing our demons and recognising triggers when they occur that we can begin to determine this difference I think.

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Oct 13, 2023

Thank you Bunnie. X

I'mME • Oct 13, 2023

I noticed you didn't answer my question.
Several ppl did answer, but you don't care, you just here doing whatever..

I'mME • Oct 13, 2023

CarmenZ,
There are many things in life that can not be explained. Although i like knowing why something bothered me, only I can examine that. If both people in a relationship enjoy what's happening, what they negotiated, who cares..
And for every person, it kay be something different, the reason they like it..kind of similar to how people liked their eggs cooked.
The examples you brought up do not fit the definition of consent. Are you aware of SSC, R.A.C.K, F.R.I.E.S, I'm forgetting some, oh yes P.R.I.C.K..?