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Punishment

aPeepingMom​(sub female)
1 year ago • Oct 25, 2023
aPeepingMom​(sub female) • Oct 25, 2023
SnowMinx wrote:
Orgasm restriction sounds like my worst nightmare 😑


That means it would probably be a damn good punishment for you!

And it’s awful.
Sweet Minx​(sub female)
1 year ago • Oct 25, 2023
Sweet Minx​(sub female) • Oct 25, 2023
aPeepingMom wrote:
SnowMinx wrote:
Orgasm restriction sounds like my worst nightmare 😑


That means it would probably be a damn good punishment for you!

And it’s awful.


😒 shhhhhh dont tell anyone lol
I'mME
1 year ago • Oct 26, 2023
I'mME • Oct 26, 2023
Sololoquy wrote:
TopekaDom wrote:
Punishment, within the lifestyle, is something that has been perverted.

In my not so humble opinion.

In reality, it is something done to correct a behavior that is wrong in a given relationship.

Now I get s types want to be spanked, or flogged or whipped, or the myid of other physical stimuli and that is great. But when done in a positive fashion, that is not punishment. Now some people will use the term "Funishment", however I think that term is obscene. If you enjoy it, then it is not punishment. That is scening. It is not corrective measures.

Punishment is not something you should enjoy. It is something painful so you will not engage in the same behavior again.

When I have to, and I don't like it any better than the s type, I use emotional punishments. I start with "I am disappointed in you" and work my way up from that. I don't use physical punishments. Emotional ones hit harder.


I get where you're coming from and I'm not sure exactly where I stand on this either, because I have mixed opinions. This is where my difficulty lies.

Everyone participating is doing so consensually, presumably for their happiness. If I consent to a spanking for any reason and it's used as a corrective measure but I enjoy it, then I agree it's not really a punishment because it isn't corrective. The problem is if it's so painful I won't want to engage in that behaviour again, it's almost certainly where my limit lies, which effectively means withdrawal of consent. That would mean never being punished.

Maybe others are different, consenting to punishments that lie outside pleasure but still within their limits.

Like I say, I get your point and agree to a large extent but I don't know how you reconcile it with where people's pleasure and pain limits for consent are almost the same.


Sololoqy,

I will not use the term Old School, bc it sets people off. There is a whole school of thought, and that is...

One should not punish their sub with the same thing (impact , or w/ anything that a sub enjoys) that they punish them with. It's a pretty simple concept yet seems to go right over people's heads.

The obsession with punishment seems to take over common sense.
I'mME
1 year ago • Oct 26, 2023
I'mME • Oct 26, 2023
Sololoquy wrote:
House Talion wrote:
There's a lot of ppl within this lifestyle that enjoy a variety of activities that most would say arenpunishments, but as I've always said you're not suposed to enjoy punishments.


Does this then mean that masochists can't easily be punished? And that non-masochists are choosing to consent to something they don't like? I can see that being the case, but if you only consent to what you enjoy, punishment would essentially not be possible. That window is certainly small in my case.


Sololoqy,

I'm not speaking for House of Talion.
You are equating punishment with always being corporal. It's not, and should be the last resort.
Punishment for a masochist is like punishing any other person. Two people get to know one another as they should before embarking down the road of an authority exchange relationship,. Rules and consequences should be something they discuss and negotiate.

Clear communication is the key.
I'mME
1 year ago • Nov 2, 2023
I'mME • Nov 2, 2023
I'mME wrote:
Sololoquy wrote:
TopekaDom wrote:
Punishment, within the lifestyle, is something that has been perverted.

In my not so humble opinion.

In reality, it is something done to correct a behavior that is wrong in a given relationship.

Now I get s types want to be spanked, or flogged or whipped, or the myid of other physical stimuli and that is great. But when done in a positive fashion, that is not punishment. Now some people will use the term "Funishment", however I think that term is obscene. If you enjoy it, then it is not punishment. That is scening. It is not corrective measures.

Punishment is not something you should enjoy. It is something painful so you will not engage in the same behavior again.

When I have to, and I don't like it any better than the s type, I use emotional punishments. I start with "I am disappointed in you" and work my way up from that. I don't use physical punishments. Emotional ones hit harder.


I get where you're coming from and I'm not sure exactly where I stand on this either, because I have mixed opinions. This is where my difficulty lies.

Everyone participating is doing so consensually, presumably for their happiness. If I consent to a spanking for any reason and it's used as a corrective measure but I enjoy it, then I agree it's not really a punishment because it isn't corrective. The problem is if it's so painful I won't want to engage in that behaviour again, it's almost certainly where my limit lies, which effectively means withdrawal of consent. That would mean never being punished.

Maybe others are different, consenting to punishments that lie outside pleasure but still within their limits.

Like I say, I get your point and agree to a large extent but I don't know how you reconcile it with where people's pleasure and pain limits for consent are almost the same.


Sololoqy,

I will not use the term Old School, bc it sets people off. There is a whole school of thought, and that is...

One should not punish their sub with the same thing (impact , or w/ anything that a sub enjoys) that they punish them with. It's a pretty simple concept yet seems to go right over people's heads.

The obsession with punishment seems to take over common sense.



Sololoqy,
I had a typo, DAMNIT.

This is what I 'tried' to write.

One should not punish a sub with the same thing they bring pleasure with.
captainwaddles
1 year ago • Nov 21, 2023
captainwaddles • Nov 21, 2023
So let's start with a distinction between actual punishment for undesired behaviour, and 'punishment' or funishment, where a rule exists basically so it can be broken and some fun activity occur.

The latter isn't punishment at all, because the submissive partner is generally into it and getting positive emotional vibes from it. But I think it might be what you are actually asking about. Unfortunately the answer isn't very helpful. Literally anything works there if both parties are into it. Throat fucking, spanking, nipple torture, verbal degradation or humiliation, forced watching of the Thomas the Tank Engine TV show. Anything. If you do mean actual punishment, then I have a word of caution for you.

Actual punishment is something that needs to be negotiated carefully, and generally isn't enjoyable for either party, although it is usually particularly unenjoyable for the submissive. Typically this take the form of a submissive partner having some objective that they want to complete, and a desire to be conditioned to do things that fulfil that objective. Generally speaking this should be done with positive reinforcement, because that is more effective and the exercise is supposed to be about the submissive achieving some goal.

However, negative reinforcement is not totally ineffective, and sumissives can be a stubborn and perfectionist bunch who will take what advantages you can give them. So they might ask for punishments for such a routine. It can also allow some submissives to forgive themselves when they inevitably mess up on account of being humanm, thus preventing a despair cycle. Being trivially forgiven for an indiscretion feels a lot like the dominant partner doesn't care about their sub for some submissive. So you do a little ritual where you acknowledge the failure wasn't acceptable, and then you both move on. The sub doesn't dwell on their mistake and the dominant partner doesn't keep bringing up those mistakes in an insecure way.

What works there? Depends on the submissive, and on what the dominant is willing to do. I tend to make the punishment fit the crime, and remind the submissive what they are trying to achieve. Things like - write me a short essay on what the goal we set was, why we wanted it and how what was done is counter-productive. I'll administer physical punishment if something like the above is too emotionally intense for the submissive, but I'm not a huge fan of that approach. And remember, safewords apply just as much in lifestyle work as they do in the bedroom.
lambsoneVerified Account
lambsoneVerified Account
1 year ago • Nov 23, 2023
lambsoneVerified Account • Nov 23, 2023
I had to write a certain sentence pertaining to the infraction several hundred times in a certain time frame for a previous Master. But then he shortened the time I had, by surprising me with occupying some of it so that I had to write faster to get it done. I had to photo all of it and email it to him since we weren't in the same country.
jildo
1 year ago • Nov 23, 2023
jildo • Nov 23, 2023
Firstly, I would want to take my punishment as deemed necessary by my Dominant. Because, I do want to remain in a relationship with him. So I would expect that a punishment for being one in which is painful to myself for all my wrong doing done to him knowing first not to do whatever it may be unfavorable by him. I sometimes think that I would want my Dom to spank me good and hard for his punishment served to me. Not because its arousing to me, the truth is though, when I visualize this really being done to leave my ass blood red from being spanked it terrifies me, and I'm no longer aroused thinking Dom is going to spank me hard enough to cry from painful ass. I think I would learn something valuable then for my Dom, and try to move mountains so as to not make that same mistake twice. To be physically punished I think that is best to straighten out to learn my lesson. Something I feared consistently growing up from childhood getting spanked, thankfully that was rarely the case. My mother was great with handing out a mental punishment needed. When Dom chooses to mentally punish me ( has done this before) to me. I have learned though, it sorta has a reverse effect on me becoming hardened to changing my ways. This has created some problems for us. I will try and digest this form of being punished better knowing that he does know what is better than I do for me , and I'm working on that because I want to remain with him so.
Richard GirardVerified Account
Richard GirardVerified Account
1 year ago • Dec 6, 2023
Richard GirardVerified Account • Dec 6, 2023
A little hot sauce, or ice more advanced use with caution tens units, remote shock, mint oil, rubbing alcohol