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Stupid Question for Black People (not other people)

I'mME
11 months ago • Oct 26, 2023
I'mME • Oct 26, 2023
Byrdie wrote:
I have an issue with the term "Queen of Spades," but it's pretty easy for me to avoid people who use that term.

I wasn't aware of "pawg" until someone mentioned it, but I've seen discussion groups and fetishes about that sort of thing so having an actual acronym for it only makes sense.

As to BBC, after clearing up my initial confusion about it on FetLife - I thought discussion group titles were referring to the British Broadcasting Company - again, it's pretty easy to ignore as I don't count for what they're looking for.

The only time I get offended is when men contact me to be their potential BBC dealer / broker, as though I have stable of shy, hung Black men who can't figure out how to get a desperate white guy to pleasure their penises. Why drag ME into this?!?


Byrdie,

Lmao, not at you but your story. I was thinking back to when I first arrived there, and while I knew some things but others, I was like WTF.
CherryDrop​(sub female)
11 months ago • Oct 26, 2023
CherryDrop​(sub female) • Oct 26, 2023
SnowMinx wrote:
Sorry to ask but what is a queen of spades? I think we all have different triggers and things that can offend us. Also depends on the context and who its coming from.




"It connotes white women with a sexual preference for black men. It can be seen on tee shirts or even as a tattoo. Also a way for a white woman to let potential black lovers know she is available."
Is the answer google gave me, never heard of the term or experienced anyone else using it though
Sweet Minx​(sub female){NotLooking}
11 months ago • Oct 26, 2023
CherryDrop wrote:
SnowMinx wrote:
Sorry to ask but what is a queen of spades? I think we all have different triggers and things that can offend us. Also depends on the context and who its coming from.




"It connotes white women with a sexual preference for black men. It can be seen on tee shirts or even as a tattoo. Also a way for a white woman to let potential black lovers know she is available."
Is the answer google gave me, never heard of the term or experienced anyone else using it though


Thank you ms cherry, I've never heard of it before
DeepEmbrace​(dom female)
11 months ago • Nov 5, 2023
DeepEmbrace​(dom female) • Nov 5, 2023
SnowMinx - I think a reason someone could be offended by someone claiming to be a "Queen of Spades" is that "spade"/"spades" is a older racial epithet for black people along the lines of the n-word. So "Queen of Spades" is basically the same as saying "Queen of [N-words]."

To me, that is not descriptive and/or inoffensive like something like BBC or PAWG. "Queen of Spades" is far beyond that in that it is literally someone calling a whole group of people a racial epithet and saying they are the Queen of them.
Byrdie​(switch female){rl only}
10 months ago • Nov 8, 2023
SnowMinx wrote:
Sorry to ask but what is a queen of spades?


It’s generally a white woman who feels that she has had intercourse enough times with black men that she’s earned the title.

I’ve seen it used in cuckolding or BBC-themed threads, sometimes by the woman and more often by her cuckold. I’ve yet to see a Black man use the term, though it’s possible that I’ve missed it due to lack of hunting.

Sometimes there are threads about queen of spades related tattoos.

Given that “spade” is an older derogatory term for Black people, and the history of racism in this country, the term grates on me.
Irrelevant Admiral​(switch male)
8 months ago • Feb 2, 2024
White guy who's already asked these questions, and there for has useful context, and doesn't really care if anyone thinks voices should be eliminated from the conversation since you didn't get the *message* and instead only absorbed the performativity of progressivism (as in every time you ask a black persons opinion you performatively shame any white person as if black people were ACTUALLY so fragile they COULDNT POSSIBLY speak up in an online space where a white boy happens to exist as a human being as well.... btw they have been doing so the whole time regardless of the circumstances.... even at risk to themselves....)

BBC: usually the ones who are insecure about this fall in to 2 categories that i've encountered.

1: they dont like the "expectation" of "black guys having huge dicks" because the vast majority of African American males fall relatively in line with averages across most males, and this basically gives them size insecurities (which some times get reinforced by women who had that expectation, telling them that they failed to meet it in the moment). while yes, most guys would consider this some form of praise or confidence bolstering penis worship, there are some who simply dont like that kind of association because it causes negative self thoughts (which can lead to performance anxiety)

2: they dont like the generalize objectification of their race ( "its the *BLACK GUYS* that have the xyz thing that gets my all hot and bothered") as a specific person and they dont like feeling that sort of cultural preconditioning brought in to the bed room in any way at all. For them, they expressed it feeling literally identical to women feeling objectified for their looks, and in one case they even argued about it in the context of the relationship on her end but then failed to reciprocate in this manner for him.

as for PAWG, most complaints ive heard about it have to do with specific women having specific internal reactions to things and feeling some sort of gender projection in a similar manner to the above. often people with certain types of weight insecurities, or people who have specific negative reactions to anything that stimulates the "woman as a sex object" type of objectification vibes. but this one was alot more personal and niche in nature so i couldnt squarely divide it in to categories like the above which had 2 very clear camps from what i encountered.

in either case, there were more people seemingly curious why people were reacting negatively than there were responding to it. so, it seems to be specific people with sensitivities to specific unhealthy internal self dialog, and having that come out in reaction to some stimuli that made them feel it in that moment, not so much a broader racial context that is held in regard by society. which honestly seems to be the case with most of these types of sensitivities. its not even the thing, its what the thing happens to make them feel about themselves in the moment. So more of a negotiate the kind of dirty talk your specific partner likes and doesnt like kind of a situation, generally speaking.