captainwaddles
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1 year ago •
Nov 21, 2023
1 year ago •
Nov 21, 2023
So let's start with a distinction between actual punishment for undesired behaviour, and 'punishment' or funishment, where a rule exists basically so it can be broken and some fun activity occur.
The latter isn't punishment at all, because the submissive partner is generally into it and getting positive emotional vibes from it. But I think it might be what you are actually asking about. Unfortunately the answer isn't very helpful. Literally anything works there if both parties are into it. Throat fucking, spanking, nipple torture, verbal degradation or humiliation, forced watching of the Thomas the Tank Engine TV show. Anything. If you do mean actual punishment, then I have a word of caution for you.
Actual punishment is something that needs to be negotiated carefully, and generally isn't enjoyable for either party, although it is usually particularly unenjoyable for the submissive. Typically this take the form of a submissive partner having some objective that they want to complete, and a desire to be conditioned to do things that fulfil that objective. Generally speaking this should be done with positive reinforcement, because that is more effective and the exercise is supposed to be about the submissive achieving some goal.
However, negative reinforcement is not totally ineffective, and sumissives can be a stubborn and perfectionist bunch who will take what advantages you can give them. So they might ask for punishments for such a routine. It can also allow some submissives to forgive themselves when they inevitably mess up on account of being humanm, thus preventing a despair cycle. Being trivially forgiven for an indiscretion feels a lot like the dominant partner doesn't care about their sub for some submissive. So you do a little ritual where you acknowledge the failure wasn't acceptable, and then you both move on. The sub doesn't dwell on their mistake and the dominant partner doesn't keep bringing up those mistakes in an insecure way.
What works there? Depends on the submissive, and on what the dominant is willing to do. I tend to make the punishment fit the crime, and remind the submissive what they are trying to achieve. Things like - write me a short essay on what the goal we set was, why we wanted it and how what was done is counter-productive. I'll administer physical punishment if something like the above is too emotionally intense for the submissive, but I'm not a huge fan of that approach. And remember, safewords apply just as much in lifestyle work as they do in the bedroom.
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