Question For The Alphas Out There

TigerBDSM​(dom male){looking} • Mar 9, 2024

A long writing.
Had no idea I, my father and mother were alpha.
Was never brought up in conversation. Probably due to this being the 1960's and 1970's with little to read about or even cognizant to look where and why.
My father worked for the department of defense his entire life. In major wars, World War 2, Korean conflict, and Vietnam twice. As you progress up the food chain of leadership, the alpha male stands out. They lead effectively and effortlessly.
I had no idea who he was to his troops. I simply saw a happy man when he was home and very polite to everyone.
On day in my late teens he said this to me...be a polite gentleman to everyone, strive to make your point but also listen and lead at all times. Approach everyone with kindness. However you must always be aware that if your kindness is stepped on or you are put down, never forget you will always have a tactical advantage in any situation and can obliterate anyone that stands in your path. Choose the high road, but if pushed, render them harmless and move on. An alpha among alpha men he was.
Then I began to hear the stories of him in action from his peers. Had no idea that that gentle man was a leader of the pack where people might die because it is war.
As for my mother, one day in my mid twenties I stumbled upon someone who was in her organization. She asked if I was her son. Then she told me about my mom. I always thought she was just a member of this organization. The lady informed me that my mom was the president and reelected for that position since her first year there.
I called my mom, she said yes I'm the president, no big deal...
I saw my mom as the atypical Japanese mom, taking care of our family. A happy and caring person.
I asked my dad about her and he said, she is the leader of her pack and expected excellence from herself and her organization. She lead with a VERY heavy hand.
Again had no clue, just a loving mom.
Now to me. Due to my father working for the DOD, we moved constantly. Yet with each new school, I would quickly be the gang leader.
I had no idea why, nor thought nothing of it.
I just did what I did without knowing why.
As for being alpha, you are or you are not.
YES anyone can study and introduce those traits to their mannerisms. However at a higher level, the alpha simply shines without thought, it is in the DNA.
Now to the lifestyle.
Take away the kinky sex activities and being forceful to someone who WANTS to be dominated and attempt that to someone who expects more than that and they fail.
Anyone can pretend to be a dom and interact with someone who wants to submit to someone.
That non alpha dom can have an enjoyable time.
Put him in a room that a true alpha and if he brings the sub along, the sub will QUICKLY see what an alpha is all about.
Similar to getting a cooked meal, that is good and tasty, then one day having a chief make dinner....game over...oh, that is different.
Ultimately, alpha, or not, we are all here to have fun and share our desires with those who are on the same page.
Be well everyone.

lambsone • Mar 9, 2024

Thank you Tiger for sharing your perspective. I had a hunch that there was a little more to being an Alpha than being a non-alphs Dom.

Sweet Minx​(sub female) • Mar 10, 2024

At the end of the day, it's not really important who thinks they are a superior alpha and who simply doesn't care about these inconsequential labels.

What matters is how you treat others including of course your submissive. Theres no golden alpha trophy or an alpha membership card to covet.

lambsone • Mar 10, 2024

You are entitled to your opinion Snowminx, however that really wasn't the point of me asking for the specific info that I asked for.

Sweet Minx​(sub female) • Mar 10, 2024

Is there a problem?

lambsone • Mar 10, 2024

Yes there is a problem Snowminx.

1. By the fact that you have spoken negatively about the alpha choice, I gather you are not an alpha. Hence you answered a question that was not yours to answer.

2. This was not a debate thread, it was an attempt to understand a specific group of individuals and learn something about their choices.

3. When a person participates in a thread, they generally answer the specifics of what is asked. You didn't do that. Instead you decided to rewrite the topic and judge the life-style of Alphas, basically saying that it is illegitimate or unnecessary. That wasn't at all helpful to what I needed to know.

4. When people add information to a thread that doesn't apply to the original question, it causes the truly interested people, a bunch of time to wade through all the answers, to find the one that actually applies. If the responses to this thread were in the hundreds, do you see how impractical that would be for them? If they got frustrated and gave up searching for the real answers, would they learn anything then about the responses asked for?

*********
I could go on, but I will stop there.

I thank all those, both Dominants and submissives, who chose to share their alpha choice with me, and/or continue to help me to understand it better. I appreciate it.

If anyone does want to debate or discuss the differences of lifestyle choices, in the interest of bringing more understanding to the table (positive or negatives issues), I invite you to start a forum thread on it, where it can be discussed thoroughly and opinions shared. My thanks to all.

Sweet Minx​(sub female) • Mar 10, 2024

1. Whether or not I choose to slap a virtual alpha sticker on my forehead is my choice. Much like it's my choice if I will post in a thread. In a public forum. You dont get to exclude anyone.

2. Any thread can be a debate thread. You don't get to decide that. You are only a participant the same as I am. The goal of a forum is discussion.

3. I didn't rewrite anything. I am participating in the thread as it's meant to be. No offense meant but it wasn't meant to help YOU. Its not about you in the least. It's a public conversation that you started but it evolves. Its here for everyone. I believe we've established that I can have my own opinion and am an equal member here.

4. Have you ever considered that maybe people enjoy reading other comments/ conversations/activity on a subject. Or maybe they don't. Isn't it better than a dead forum where noone talks? I can't process rn.

Look at the forums. They need more discussion, not less. Everyone should feel welcome to post. Good night.

Ingénue{VK} • Mar 10, 2024

Are we answering points now?
1. Alpha stickers available online but can't give the links because of site Ts and Cs
2. The goal of Forum is for 95% of people to state their opinion and/or vigorously disagree with others who see things differently. If you think it's a pity that Forum can't be curated and stay on topic, use your blog for that purpose.
3. See point 2
4. Scrolling is a wonderful thing. If you post in "Lifestyle BDSM" category, you'll get most of the community answering rather than a more niche group. Mind the ghosts.

Anyhow, back to the first post with many thanks for the delicious and fun interlude, Snowminx. I'm loving the range of responses on here. I am noticing that from the definitions given, self-designated alphas are just bog-standard doms and subs. The only thing that distinguishes them, at all, is the *need* for an alpha tag. What the tag appears to fulfil is either 1. drawing attention to their competence in their chosen occupation, 2. bragging about their genetics, educational and professional background and unique capacity in any or all of these 3. a desire to see themselves and be seen as in charge of others with their charismatic leadership skills or 4. delusions of superiority. I'm waiting for this thread to reveal additional information. My ex-sub was all about 3 and 4 which was great as I got to slap him down almost every day.

lambsone • Mar 10, 2024

Okay I think it's no secret that I disagree with both of you. In that case, I invite one and all to respond in any way to any forum post that strikes your fancy. We must keep the forums alive in any form of response that we can. It has been decreed, and so it shall be. It is a new day. Let the chaos begin.

Alphas I do apologize that you have been treated badly for your choice. I enjoyed the responses from the true alphas who responded and took the time to be yourself and share what you are about. For myself, based on what you shared, I think that I would like to have an Alpha for a Dom. Perhaps I'll find one sometime in the future.

If any of you Alphas, sub or Dom, would like to still share with me the reason you see yourself as Alpha and how it plays out in your life, feel free to message me because that is a private and safe venue, as was suggested by the discenters.

I now turn this thread over to the discenting factor as they pointed out that once a post is publicized, the poster and the information they seek is immaterial to the one who posted it. It belongs to everyone and can be taken in any direction that anyone wills it to. So have at it, I withdraw my future misguided thoughts.

LilSugarFairy​(sub female) • Mar 10, 2024

I'm sorry but the sense of entitlement on this thread is unreal. Where is the empathy? Someone was trying to learn more about a topic and you guys not only felt it necessary to pull the topic in the direction some of YOU saw fit, but to act as if you were entitled to do so and to hell with what the original poster was asking. CAN you post whatever you want because this is a forum? Sure, you are free to all act like self entitled children, but that doesn't make you RIGHT.

I feel for Lambsone... Trying to figure out the term Alpha for the understanding of figuring out what she wants and instead of helping her out, you turn this into a debate forum instead of at least TRYING to stay on topic because I forgot.. you can ignore peoples thoughts and wishes and just do whatever you want.

Real nice...