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Question For The Guys

lambsone
4 days ago • Jun 11, 2024
lambsone • Jun 11, 2024
I was just going to make the same point about mama bear and her cubs balloonkotinsp ... hahaha.

I think the radio show was making the same point that you're talking about even for young men. One of my brothers is 14 years younger and I see this tendency in him.

I also grew up in a culture where it was expected for a man to be the protector of those more vulnerable than he was when they needed protection.

But I've also seen women rise to the occasion when they needed to to keep an injustice at bay. Especially when no one else was around to take the reins.

So ... I think there can be some shared characteristics between the sexes.
Literate Lycan​(dom male)
4 days ago • Jun 11, 2024

Re: Question For The Guys

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Jun 11, 2024
lambsone wrote:
. . . They talked about every man having a protector tendency. Protecting those that mean something to them but I also gather that perhaps anyone who is vulnerable might also stir that tendency.

So I'm curious to find out if you guys sense that characteristic in yourselves no matter your choice of BDSM role or life situation. Do you think it's really an intrinsic quality that all men have?

Do you have any life stories to share about how you saw this protective tendency emerge in you in an encounter with another person?


First a point: It's like some guys are trying to prove your point without agreeing with you. The question posed was specific to men. It bore no malice to women. (Hint - no one needs protecting from the question) Simply asking whether men may be inherently protective doesn't negate the fact that many women are equally protective. Women can be very protective, regardless of whether it's for their children or their loved ones or what have you. But the question was posed about men, so for the sake of all, anyone defending any perceived hurt feelings before they are felt, sit down.

In answer to the question: Not every man has that quality but those that do display it in varying degrees. I concur with @balloonkotinsp above - I tend to believe it is an inherent trait that may be brought out either by nature or nurturing. It varies on the individual but I've seen, based upon only my experiences, many men make horrible choices in life based upon defending or protecting someone who appears vulnerable. Think the White Knight syndrome - always running off to save the day or the damsel in distress - even when the damsels probably don't need a Knight or saving - or perhaps the knight isn't qualified to doing the saving.

I think we traditionally think of protection as being physically based. Who knows why exactly? Was it our evolution 50,000 years ago? And often (up until the recent generations) young men such as me and those I grew up with were taught to protect. But we are living in a different age and time.

Experiences: I have tons as I'm sure others do as well. Give me a wounded bird and I'm all about rescuing it. But as I've matured I've learned not every bird is really wounded nor can I or should I save every one. I do recall at a very young age (fifteen or so) working outside the polls during an election. A woman pulled up in a car - much older than I and probably in her early 30s - in tears sobbing with a child in the back seat. I don't recall her exact story, but it was a wild one that involved Satanic worship and I was in way out of my expertise or maturity - but I still wanted to help, to save her and her child. To protect them! Luckily I told her to wait and I'd get someone (I went to grab an adult because thankfully I realized this was a bit too much) and she drove away. That plagued me for weeks - that I couldn't help her. Now I look back and realize that was one of many events in my life that I shouldn't have felt responsible for fixing.
lambsone
4 days ago • Jun 11, 2024
lambsone • Jun 11, 2024
You may have saved yourself Literate from the woman at the poles. If she really needed help she would have waited until you came back with an adult. Her purpose may have been to pray upon your naivete, and the desperate act she put on (including the child in the car) might have been only a ploy to involve you in something bad. Who knows.

I believe all of you men have answered the question with integrity and honesty. I'm not detecting anyone wanting to prove my point as I made none. I just shared what I heard on the radio and asked if you guys thought it was true or not. The program itself was dealing only with men at the time so women weren't brought up.

However I think it's okay that it was brought up that women also have the tendency. Thankfully it didn't devolve into a discussion about women instead as it would have buried the original question and perhaps kept future men from sharing their experiences and thoughts about themselves or men in general.

So, so far I appreciate that each of you have shared your personal experiences and thoughts regarding men and protectiveness. Hopefully other men will contribute their thoughts whether they agree or not.
NCarraway​(dom male)
2 days ago • Jun 12, 2024
NCarraway​(dom male) • Jun 12, 2024
My own opinion: it's complicated!

My thought was also initially drawn to the example of women protecting their children facing danger. So I certainly don't think it's an inherently male versus female characteristic.

I am certainly very protective nowadays of those people I feel responsible for (children, partners, my munch community of kinksters, strangers I see in distress) but it hasn't always been that way, I'm ashamed to admit.

I noticed though that my tendency to protectiveness has become more pronounced the further into my Dom journey I get. I have also noticed this trait in other Doms that I admire. I don't think this is an inherent trait. I suspect for myself, confidence both in myself and what is right and wrong has increased so i am more likely to intervene. I am also living the Dom role and protection, for me, is a big part of that. On the basis of my logic there I would assume that I would intervene because, well that's what I do. So in some way that sounds like a developed trait.

And here is a flipside question for subs...

Do you find that your tendency to protectiveness has changed because of your submission? I'm thinking that possibly being submissive to a partner might have you defer to their judgement about whether to get involved or perhaps go with an assumption that the protectiveness might be their thing. Or do you think it hasn't changed because of submission?
lambsone
2 days ago • Jun 12, 2024
lambsone • Jun 12, 2024
Thank you NCarraway for your thoughts on protectiveness as being more of a learned behavior for men, rather than being a normal part of your nature.

Just a suggestion, your question to subs would probably do better in a thread of it's own. You can refer back to this thread so that people have a context though. So far our input about women has pretty much been commented on by the men's perspective, plus my counterthoughts to acknowledge the men's thoughts.

For your question, formally adding a discussion by women for women to this thread, I fear will stop the guys from responding to the original question. I have some thoughts in response to your question to subs, but I think I will wait to see if you start a separate thread about it and look forward to reading the gals' responses. Thanks.
TwinkleEyes
2 days ago • Jun 12, 2024
TwinkleEyes • Jun 12, 2024
And here is a flipside question for subs...

Do you find that your tendency to protectiveness has changed because of your submission? I'm thinking that possibly being submissive to a partner might have you defer to their judgement about whether to get involved or perhaps go with an assumption that the protectiveness might be their thing. Or do you think it hasn't changed because of submission?[/quote]

I find this to be a very good question and that you value the opinions of the community at large. Understanding that true education comes out of a multitude of resources. Without diversity inbreeding of ideology happens and true education stops.

As the OP has repeatedly posed questions that drip with reverse sexism, discounts ideology different than theirs, with deliberate actions, seems to refute opinions coming from female submissive. May I ask for you to post this question in a new forum post. For I know there are a few females subs who have an opinion and want to voice.

Once again I find the OP a good question. Not the “policing” of it. Basically cock blocks a real conversation and learning opportunity for the community SMH
Sweet Escape​(sub female)
2 days ago • Jun 12, 2024
Sweet Escape​(sub female) • Jun 12, 2024
lambsone wrote:
Thank you NCarraway for your thoughts on protectiveness as being more of a learned behavior for men, rather than being a normal part of your nature.

Just a suggestion, your question to subs would probably do better in a thread of it's own. You can refer back to this thread so that people have a context though. So far our input about women has pretty much been commented on by the men's perspective, plus my counterthoughts to acknowledge the men's thoughts.

For your question, formally adding a discussion by women for women to this thread, I fear will stop the guys from responding to the original question. I have some thoughts in response to your question to subs, but I think I will wait to see if you start a separate thread about it and look forward to reading the gals' responses. Thanks.


I highly doubt that women posting a comment or opinion would discourage men or Doms from
posting here lol most people understand a forum is for everyone and is inclusive. As you can see several men have already indicated exactly this.
lambsone
2 days ago • Jun 12, 2024
lambsone • Jun 12, 2024
Gals were you going to actually answer NCarraway's question?
lambsone
2 days ago • Jun 13, 2024
lambsone • Jun 13, 2024
If you all don't know, NCarraway has indeed started a separate thread on submissive protectiveness tendencies. So if you would like to contribute your thoughts or just read what is being said, here's the link to it: https://thecage.co/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=5871

Would love to hear more about the guys perspective as well if anyone else would like to share your thoughts.