Is Experience A Turn On or Turn Off For You?

Steellover​(sub male) • Jun 19, 2024

I don't think of it in terms of a turn-on or turn-off. I prefer experience in a dominant, simply because a more experienced dominant knows what they are doing, and I would feel safer being in a compromising position with an experienced top in charge. Someone with experience is more likely to know exactly how far to push a limit without inflicting permanent damage- or necessitating a safe word.

Although, I would also think that submitting to someone who is experiencing the erotic thrill of being in charge for the first time, with a sub at their mercy, would be erotically exciting in it's own right. You could sense the rush of their dominant head space more intensely, because it's so new to them. To see a normally shy and inexperienced person unleash their inner dominant fire upon you and relish it, and you knowing that you were the special one to help them unleash it, that would indeed be hot.

Sweet Minx​(sub female) • Jun 19, 2024

So many great responses here. I can absolutely see an experienced partner being important for safety issues and concerns. Excellent point.
We all have to start somewhere though so I think as long as a potential partner is willing to learn, research and cares about my safety and wellbeing , that's a plus for me.

@zach I admire your honesty! Most Doms didn't address that part of my questions lol

@solace noone better think badly of you or your personal preferences, you are not one of the bad guys but super respectful in every way

InATimelyFashion • Jun 19, 2024

Turn off On the Tagtime in a message saying (Real Dom )😆
But then go profile nothing just sweet words so its a no still a no.

Turns on can read a profile get in your mind and soul.

InATimelyFashion • Jun 21, 2024

Experience yes or great not first thing to say but not free ride none not willing to grow or heal is a off.

bdsamworld​(sub female){collared} • Jun 21, 2024

I used to not play or even talk to Dominants who were new/inexperienced to the scene. I didn't feel comfortable. But as I've grown and realized that not every Dominant who has experience means it was "good" or "quality" kind of experience. And being a new or inexperienced Dominant didn't mean they weren't knowledgeable.

I will add same thing for submissives/slaves. I admit although I've been around a long time it doesn't mean I have the experience that someone else wants and/or needs. It's all about vetting, comfort levels, and willing to teach/be taught.

House Talion​(dom male) • Jun 21, 2024

The more you know the less I have to teach you, but the less you know the more we get to experience together. You decide which is better.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Jun 21, 2024

i'm a critical care nurse in a mid sized teaching hospital. Experience in a hospital setting can (grossly) be divided into two categories:

1) experience with procedures, 'hands on' interventions that involve some sort of physical act. In general, the more experience one has at say, putting in an IV, the better they are at it. But not necessarily, some never get 'good' at that and can keep doing the same things wrong over and over. Repetitive practice doesn't always equate to better or excellent skill, it can also reinforce poor practices and give a sense of misplaced confidence.

2) experience with communication, listening, looking; connecting with the individual.

Patients will often choose the caregiver with a 'good bedside manner" (i.e. #2) over the skilled practitioner who has brilliant outcomes with their physical procedures.

"Experience" is not a factor i consider very closely (if at all?) when wanting or pursuing a Guy. i'm looking for what i perceive as 'maturity,' something that doesn't necessarily or automatically come with age or experience. Self awareness but not self absorption. Even with a physical act, no two people are exactly the same, so what worked for another in what seems to be the same action, may not work for another.

i don't believe we can ever separate the physical from all the other parts that make us who we are? For me, i connect more with the driver (i.e., the person and what that makes them who and how they are) behind the action. (Compatible) desire and need are two huge "drivers" that connect me to another person. We can work on the physical skill stuff, practice makes better. But, for me, no amount of experience can replace compatible need/desire.

i'm gonna press the "submit" button... this feels like a haphazardly written post, i hope it makes sense lol