Subs: what are some bad habits of FemDoms?

Steellover​(sub male) • Jun 25, 2024

I think that is a fair point, and, speaking as a self-identified submissive, it is very easy for partners of either orientation to fall into this trap. Submissives tend to fall into the trap of focusing on their own kinks, fantasies, desires, or what have you, and seek fulfillment of them. Some dommes can fall into the trap of "Service first and only- kink last (if at all.) What will You do for me?"

The question both partners of any relationship should be asking is, what can WE do for EACH OTHER?

Ultimately, many, heck probably most of us- myself included, do want to seek a deeper and more fulfilling connection than just a quick fix of kink. We want a deep, romantic, and lasting connection. For guys like me, this means getting outside of my own head, not being too caught up in my own dirty/kinky fantasies, and really reaching across and trying to connect with the partner I am interested in. I know as a sub, it is easy to fall into this trap of being inside your own head too much.

I do see no real issue with a female domme who wants and enjoys being worshipped. I am, after all, attracted to strong assertive woman and I WANT to worship them- and I want my partner to appreciate being worshipped. But there is, of course a point where it becomes sort of a toxic narcissism and it isn't sustainable.

lambsone • Jun 25, 2024

I don't see a problem with femdommes wanting to be worshipped either but instead of earning the worship, some just expect it and assume a sub is going to fall at their feet immediately. That's the tone I'm picking up in some of these profiles.

Any Dominant who distances themselves from their sub and comes across as though they are on a higher plain than a sub, is not conducive for a partnership developing, unless this type of dynamic was negotiated.

I don't get the impression from some profiles that it is. It comes across to me that if a sub doesn't see themselves as lower than the Dominant, then they are out on their ear. It's almost as though they are issuing an ultimatum.

I don't see this inflexibility in many of the Maledom profiles. I see the Maledoms as recognizing that it is the subs that hold the power, but I don't see this in the Femdomme profiles.

Steellover​(sub male) • Jun 25, 2024

I agree with you but I think part of the issue is that female dommes are in far more demand than male doms. For the simple reason that there are far, far fewer of them than there are male doms- and far, far more male subs than there are female subs.

So, it's a numbers thing. This simple fact of "numbers" causes two potential problems- for one, female dommes have a lot more suitors, and a lot of these suitors don't always know how to approach a domme in a respectful way without sounding too needy and/or creepy. Second, because of all the attention, some female dommes- not all, thankfully- begin to see themselves as super-entitled because of all the attention they get.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jun 26, 2024

The Numbers Game applies to all facets of seeking relationships--- kink or mainstream.

The ratio of Men Looking to Women looking is off the charts. Some estimate over 95% but I doubt an in-depth statistical study hs been done.

So transfer that to those seeking dominant women-- it's even more steep. Back when I was in the game, I couldn't find a domme willing to do me up as a good and obedient maso-girl.

That I never was into relationships beyond a few days didn't even come into play.

I had somewhat better luck staying away from the Online scene and sticking to Local but even then--- whatever dommes wo are around are taken.

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However, as to the Original Subject, of the handful of experiences with dommes I had over the years, there weren't any "bad habits" that I noticed.

As with everything else in life, it's a case-by-case thing.