DirtroadSamurai(dom male)
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4 months ago •
Jul 20, 2024
fluffypoppet wrote: This question has lit my brain up like a pinball machine. I keep jumping from one thought to another.
My answer to this question is NO, because: - Punishments serve a purpose- to restore balance and trust. (At least in my world- I wouldn't consent to punishment for anything less.) - Not everyone consents to punishments. | Given my experience with them, I'm not sure I would. - If I willingly consented to a punishment, it would still need to be within my boundaries. - No contact is a hard boundary. - A beating seems risky, if I associate a beating with punishment, it will NEVER be a funishment to me again. - If a slap leaves a mark on my face, that's again outside of a boundary for me. My preference when it comes to terrible mistakes is as follows: - A conversation- I prefer to have a discussion about what happened, why it is wrong, what should have happened, what needs to be done to make amends, and how to prevent further transgressions. - A punishment we've discussed that fits within my boundaries. I may not get to choose my own punishment, but I can choose my boundaries, and they exist for a good reason. Anyway, if something is so terribly wrong that the only restorative justice is to violate my boundaries then the dynamic is already over. So I guess losing him is the final outcome. Though, it needn't have been. A creative Dom could find other impactful punishments within set boundaries. Perhaps a helpful question might be: *What are appropriate punishments for a terrible transgression?* Or perhaps even better if you ask "What punishment is best for your particular dynamic between the two or more parties directly involved? |
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Sweet Minx(sub female){NotLooking}
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4 months ago •
Jul 20, 2024
I think we shouldn't assume that this is what the OP has done or is considering. He may very well just be trying to induce conversation or satisfy his curiosity .
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TopekaDom(dom male)
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4 months ago •
Jul 20, 2024
Sweet Escape wrote: I think we shouldn't assume that this is what the OP has done or is considering. He may very well just be trying to induce conversation or satisfy his curiosity .
If this is indeed his intent, he did a crappy job of it . |
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Sweet Minx(sub female){NotLooking}
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4 months ago •
Jul 20, 2024
TopekaDom wrote: Sweet Escape wrote: I think we shouldn't assume that this is what the OP has done or is considering. He may very well just be trying to induce conversation or satisfy his curiosity .
If this is indeed his intent, he did a crappy job of it . I mean idk lol but let's not repeat the rimming thread and judge him. |
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Little Vixie(sub female){Mgh30}
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4 months ago •
Jul 21, 2024
I'm confused. Define "did something terrible". The way it's phrased it makes me think they cheated and at that point beating them is a no go for me. It's a great way to end up in jail especially since at that point it doesn't sound consensual.
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LoveMaster(dom male)
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4 months ago •
Jul 21, 2024
Sweet Escape wrote: I think we shouldn't assume that this is what the OP has done or is considering. He may very well just be trying to induce conversation or satisfy his curiosity .
As I said, violence is not something that i choose, and to do something i disapprove is lowering my standards. I want to understand if punishment can be a preferred option from a sub point of view. |
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Sweetlydepraved(masochist female){Mostly}
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4 months ago •
Jul 21, 2024
LoveMaster wrote: Sweet Escape wrote: I think we shouldn't assume that this is what the OP has done or is considering. He may very well just be trying to induce conversation or satisfy his curiosity .
As I said, violence is not something that i choose, and to do something i disapprove is lowering my standards. I want to understand if punishment can be a preferred option from a sub point of view. Punishment doesn’t need to be physical and it also doesn’t mean ending the dynamic. It can be an assignment of writing lines, or taking something away that the sub likes for a given period of time based on the level of the offense. It can be language restrictions, once I had to refer to myself when talking as “This disrespectful bitch” for 2 weeks. Punishment comes down to knowing you’re submissive. Daddy never physically punishes me because that’s not how our dynamic functions. I ask for pain, or he rewards me with pain. It is something we share to connect us intimately. He also says he will never release me voluntarily because I am his forever girl. Knowing that he intends to keep me forever makes me feel safer and more secure as his property, and that makes me more willing to accept his will, guidance, and care. |
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fluffypoppet(sub female){Protected}
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4 months ago •
Jul 21, 2024
LoveMaster wrote: As I said, violence is not something that i choose, and to do something i disapprove is lowering my standards. I want to understand if punishment can be a preferred option from a sub point of view. Yes. Punishment can be preferred to ending a dynamic. It can be a relief to know things have been set right. However, punishments should (like anything else) be within the boundaries that have been established. Punishment should serve a purpose- restoring trust and good faith. Violence beyond one’s boundaries is not going to restore trust. |
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Bunnie
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4 months ago •
Jul 21, 2024
Neither.
Personally I see both of those options as reactive, and merely band-aid responses. Neither of them address the real issue… the terrible thing that was done. Preferably I’d opt for discussion in this case, because if it’s enough of a terrible thing to warrant considerations of ending the relationship, something is terribly wrong, and a mere slap across the face isn’t going to salvage it. |
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I'mME
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4 months ago •
Jul 22, 2024
fluffypoppet wrote: This question has lit my brain up like a pinball machine. I keep jumping from one thought to another.
My answer to this question is NO, because: - Punishments serve a purpose- to restore balance and trust. (At least in my world- I wouldn't consent to punishment for anything less.) - Not everyone consents to punishments. | Given my experience with them, I'm not sure I would. - If I willingly consented to a punishment, it would still need to be within my boundaries. - No contact is a hard boundary. - A beating seems risky, if I associate a beating with punishment, it will NEVER be a funishment to me again. - If a slap leaves a mark on my face, that's again outside of a boundary for me. My preference when it comes to terrible mistakes is as follows: - A conversation- I prefer to have a discussion about what happened, why it is wrong, what should have happened, what needs to be done to make amends, and how to prevent further transgressions. - A punishment we've discussed that fits within my boundaries. I may not get to choose my own punishment, but I can choose my boundaries, and they exist for a good reason. Anyway, if something is so terribly wrong that the only restorative justice is to violate my boundaries then the dynamic is already over. So I guess losing him is the final outcome. Though, it needn't have been. A creative Dom could find other impactful punishments within set boundaries. Perhaps a helpful question might be: *What are appropriate punishments for a terrible transgression?* Poppet, This type question, there is no right answer, neither is a choice. You nailed it in the head, someone that would give these as choices is not creative, they would be many things but not that. |
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