Power Exchange According To You

Power Exchange According To You

lambsone • Jul 27, 2024

Recently someone asked me what I believed Power Exchange to be. Is the sub the only one that gives over power, or do both give power to each other? I have to admit that even though I seek a power exchange, I have never really clarified what it would be.

So in a feeble attempt to respond this is what I said in response:
"As a sub, I prefer to think of power exchange as me giving my power over to my Dom and me consciously submitting to him fully. So he has both my power and his own. My power is returned to me in his protection, love, care, devotion, leadership, etc. The giving of my power to him fuels and energizes his acts in these areas as well as my acts of submission to him."

So, how about you? I'll ask the same question that was asked of me:
"What are your views on power exchange? Do you think it's one sided or both give power to each other?"

Sweet Minx​(sub female) • Jul 27, 2024

I think you've already answered the question lol it's called power 'exchange'.

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Jul 27, 2024

Power exchange depends on the people involved.

Some people want an exchange where the Dom/me runs the whole show. Finances, clothing choice, food choice, sleeping arrangements, what have you. Personally, I don't have time for that kind of micro management.

Other's just want to have control over the s types orgasums. Or really the lack thereof.

What most people think of when saying "power exchange" is real Old School stuff. Rituals, protocols, certain behaviors. But again this is hard work since it takes time and energy on both sides of the collar to figure out how it is all going to go down.

And it isn't something that happens overnight.

lambsone • Jul 27, 2024

Yes SweetEscape I did answer the question for myself, but I was hoping to gain more insight by hearing how others would respond for themselves. How would you answer the question if someone asked it of you? If you want to share that is.

lambsone • Jul 27, 2024

How do you see it working in your own life Topeka? If your answer is not too personal that you don't want to share.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jul 27, 2024

It's as variable as there are personalities. In my own past experiences submitting -- or rather being subdued-- was only in sexual / maso-girl session scenarios. Outside of that I am fiercely independent as in "I am the only boss of me, Period." ...Well not counting my capacity as an employee. On the other end of the stick is of course what's often said to be "TPE".

TPE works for some, but not for not others, just like what I used to do / have done to me, and the limited circumstances therein, certainly wouldn't appeal to many at all. But that's just fine with me. I seek no approval. That's the beauty of this BDSM crap. No "One Size Fits All". No "Officially Sanctioned Law of Kink"

It's a combination of the "levels".

"Power Exchange" is indeed and wholly according to the couples involved.

"Season to Taste"

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Jul 27, 2024

It depends on what relationship you want to talk about.

I've done the micromanagement. It became a chore and won't do it again.

I've had slaves where certain ones had certain requirements. Being Old School, it was a good deal of rituals and protocols. I've used cock cages and Chasity belts for sleeping (had a male/female couple at one time, not married) and they had to wear them at night when sleeping in the same bed. Then there was things like asking to smoke, even when out in public or with family.

Then there are the playmates who the only power exchange is tying them up and beating.

zamarra​(sub female) • Jul 27, 2024

Power Exchange is what i love, and agree it depends on the dynamic as each is its own.
i too don't want to be micromanaged per se...
My surrender in the past has been complete, CNC, but don't know if will repeat that as i lose perspective of what is best for this girl...in a way of speaking.
However it is an exchange, and for me, the D/M type becomes my world and my purpose above all else is to please my Master or Dom. Yet it does take time and care to develop the exchange appropriately. Transparency is a must: for the D/M with intentions above all else. For me, as i cannot speak for other s types, i share my thoughts feelings actions...so the One i serve knows best how to care/lead/teach me.

Truemasterkai • Jul 28, 2024

To me, it is important to examine what 'power' is and entails before getting into any meaningful exchange of it. In the context of BDSM, the answers already made here more or less paint a fine general picture, but I think there are certain nuances that aren't talked about often.

One of them being: 'To what extent do the desires of two (or more) individuals effect whatever power interplay might occur between them?'

If I and a sub have interest in each other, it can be argued that the extent of that interest plays a part in the formation of power within that relationship. If it is something I want more than they do, i may be inclined to do or commit more to forming and maintaining a connection than they might. If that interest were to ever evolve into a 'need' (as it sometimes does), then we are talking entirely new exchanges of power, independent of whatever the type of relationship entails by itself.

This is a tricky subject and there are far more layers to it than it may initially seem. Subs may 'give up' power to a degree in these relationships, but the power they give isn't the only type of power involved in the relationship. I'll cut my reply short here for brevity. If this can even be called brief anymore. Lol

rare jewel​(sub female){none} • Jul 28, 2024

Power exchange could never be one sided thus the exchange. For me in my many years of submission once you have established pure trust with whom you've decided and believe will care , protect and ultimately better you, then and only then I give myself wholly and completely. Yes it does require time, patience and commitment but it's so worth it! I can say I've been lucky enough to have been owned by 2 amazing, very knowledgeable well-known Dom/Domme's. Thanks for this thread.
Ish