Power Exchange According To You

CruelPuppetMaster​(dom male) • Jul 28, 2024

"What are your views on power exchange? Do you think it's one sided or both give power to each other?"

An exchange involves each side both giving and receiving, and that certainly happens. But "power exchange" might be a little misleading because that part of the transaction only goes one way. Certainly there is an "exchange," there are many things that the Dom gives and the sub receives... but none of them are power.

Power is the ability to do something, to impose your will, to influence whatever is happening. I have the power to take my SexPuppet by the hair and force her to her knees, but only because she surrendered her power to "do something" (like punch me in the balls) to influence events and made herself helpless before her Master. When she consents to being tied up, she relinquishes her power to resist: she gives up her power and allows herself to be made helpless, without ability to control events: her Master can do anything he wants to her.

The submissive surrenders every power except the ultimate one (hard limits and safe words), and while I like to flatter myself that what she gets in return is a fair exchange/deal/trade/swap, it's not accurate to say we are exchanging power. The only power she gets is over my heart.

CPM

p.s. I just remembered and honesty compels me to admit, she does have one power I surrendered to her as part of the "exchange."
She gets to decide when I need a trim.

lambsone • Jul 28, 2024

Very interesting responses so far.

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female){95%} • Jul 28, 2024

There are many types of power that are exchanged. In the beginning it is very surface, sub gives D type a level of physical power over them. This could look like all the myriad of things a D type controls/does. In return, the sub often receives a sense of purpose and a sense of belonging.

As you delve deeper, if you ever do, that power becomes inner power and it has nothing to do with rules or even activities. It becomes the ability to control emotion, and that is where as a D you experience true control and as an s you experience true surrender. It is in that emotional control/surrender cycle where the magic happens.

My surrender to Daddy’s will fuels me in every step of my day. Mundane tasks have a deeper meaning because he isn’t just on my mind, he is part of me and my every action is somehow related to his pleasure and satisfaction. This is not because he has given me 150 rules to live by, it is because I know him and he knows me to our core selves. I intrinsically know what he wants and needs without being told, I can read his emotions and body language without thinking about it. Just as he can mine. We are constantly intertwined in a cycle of emotional bonding.

So back to those mundane tasks, it gives me an immense sense of pleasure and satisfaction to execute these daily tasks, which lifts my mood and makes me feel more energized because ultimately (and we aren’t there yet) I will be a living embodiment of the diverse tapestry of what feeds his soul. Just as he feeds mine. At some point you can’t tell where one begins and the other ends. This aspect is achieved by making his pleasure a source of mine which is deeply related to the release of oxytocin and dopamine and a few others. This is where orgasm control comes into play, because that’s an incredible source of those hormones, by taking control of that early your body/mind begins to associate your D with pleasure, and then the D moves to melding that association of pleasure into different areas and aspects of your life that he wants to encourage because it pleases him. This rewires the subs neural pathways and that’s a whole ballgame I’m not going into.

In regards to masochism and sadism, I get an incredible amount of energy from Daddy when he hurts me. Biologically this is adrenaline and cortisol, and it is highly addictive, so he has to keep it balanced and controlled. He in turn gets the same adrenaline and cortisol. Separate, we can not achieve this level of release of hormones but together we exchange our “power” with one fueling the other. In other words, I can’t go whip myself and get the energy any time I feel like it, Daddy has to be involved in some way. A good sadist deeply understands this biological aspect of sadism/masochism because too much adrenaline and too much cortisol have very negative effects on your body. So, he doesn’t need to only know the level of bruises or marks he’s inflicting, he also needs to consider what’s happening internally.

These things take years to happen.

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Jul 28, 2024

To me, it's an exchange. A give and take. It's fluid, it's negotiated. It's dynamic within any given dyad.

And it's different depending on the connection and chemistry between the couple.

I think TD is right that it can often indicate old school for those of us who have actively been involved in (real life) ds/bdsm for some years. But, these days, I think there are a lot of people about, especially in the virtual world, who don't know what old school means. They've seen a lot of bdsm porn and think it's all 'power exchange' in Sex. They're mystified that it could mean anything else.

SirDomCE​(dom male) • Jul 29, 2024

There is always a "power exchange" in any Dom/sub relationship. You answered it well. The exact dynamic for the power exchange is navigated through a process called a mutual consensual agreement. Always think of what you have possibly heard a million times in the BDSM communities...things always need to be safe, sane, and consensual. This "power exchange" is different for every Dom/sub relationship and it definitely shapes the whole relationship. There are many different range types of Dom/sub relationships and I suppose it also depends on the type of dynamic you get involved with. Keeping it simple think of say the difference even between just a 24/7 as opposed to a bedroom only dynamic or private versus a public etc. Good luck to you.