Sweet Minx(sub female)
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4 months ago •
Jul 29, 2024
Miss Anima wrote: Sweet Escape wrote: Miss Anima wrote: Have you actually been diagnosed with
PTSD ? Really not an appropriate question. Smh. If people are going to make such claims they should expect questions .. Are you the doctor? The OP is not asking for medical advice. I disagree with you. It's completely none of your business. I have PTSD and yes I've been diagnosed and no it's still not anyones business. Boundaries. |
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Online now
Knightsundere(sub male)
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4 months ago •
Jul 30, 2024
Miss Anima wrote: Knightsundere wrote: Miss Anima wrote: Have you actually been diagnosed with
PTSD ? Even if not, it's fairly common lingo for trauma in his/my age bracket. Strange question. It shouldn't be lingo it's a serious diagnosis that shouldn't use lightly I understand and even agree, but with asking, at best it's an uncomfortable question with no real positive outcome, and at worst they do have PTSD and you look like a jerk. Better to just leave it alone, and be supportive in the meantime. |
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| Miss Anima(dom female) |
4 months ago •
Jul 30, 2024
Sweet Escape wrote: Miss Anima wrote: Sweet Escape wrote: Miss Anima wrote: Have you actually been diagnosed with
PTSD ? Really not an appropriate question. Smh. If people are going to make such claims they should expect questions .. Are you the doctor? The OP is not asking for medical advice. I disagree with you. It's completely none of your business. I have PTSD and yes I've been diagnosed and no it's still not anyones business. Boundaries. Maybe you should work on your triggers, I've seen many of your posts you have no room to talk.. |
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| Miss Anima(dom female) |
4 months ago •
Jul 30, 2024
Knightsundere wrote: Miss Anima wrote: Knightsundere wrote: Miss Anima wrote: Have you actually been diagnosed with
PTSD ? Even if not, it's fairly common lingo for trauma in his/my age bracket. Strange question. It shouldn't be lingo it's a serious diagnosis that shouldn't use lightly I understand and even agree, but with asking, at best it's an uncomfortable question with no real positive outcome, and at worst they do have PTSD and you look like a jerk. Better to just leave it alone, and be supportive in the meantime. Maybe I was going to give them advice , try thinking past your overly emotional response .. |
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aPeepingMom(sub female)
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4 months ago •
Jul 30, 2024
Ignoring the off-topic, petty comments… my take on the OP’s actual question:
(Again, this is only MY opinion, not necessarily the “right” answer) A “dom” who starts off with demands for those things is looking for a physical connection only - whether it be via online interaction and photos or through a possible meet - and not for the mental/emotional connection that many (not most) submissives crave. These men are not men I would continue conversing with, they’re only interested in themselves. |
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reticent(sub female)
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4 months ago •
Jul 30, 2024
Miss Anima wrote: Knightsundere wrote: Miss Anima wrote: Knightsundere wrote: Miss Anima wrote: Have you actually been diagnosed with
PTSD ? Even if not, it's fairly common lingo for trauma in his/my age bracket. Strange question. It shouldn't be lingo it's a serious diagnosis that shouldn't use lightly I understand and even agree, but with asking, at best it's an uncomfortable question with no real positive outcome, and at worst they do have PTSD and you look like a jerk. Better to just leave it alone, and be supportive in the meantime. Maybe I was going to give them advice , try thinking past your overly emotional response .. The only advice that would make that question relevant is if you're a Dr and were going to offer actual medical advice. If you were going to offer peer advice about dealing with trauma, an official PTSD diagnosis is completely irrelevant. There is no legitimate reason to ask that question, especially in a public forum, instead of messaging the OP privately. Purposely trying to shame somebody like that and then saying that people calling you out for doing so are just having an 'overly emotional response' says a lot more about you than those pointing out how inappropriate of a response it was. |
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reticent(sub female)
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4 months ago •
Jul 30, 2024
Re: How much should I Share on first contact? confusedvirginboy wrote: People may have asked and answered, but I still wonder how much of myself should I share for an online connection. Ex: All Doms I approach teel me to send pictures, my body measurements, contact details, and name. I want to get into a relationship so I would do it usually, but it feels like leaving myself too vulnerable.
Also I have some PTSD with this too, I got extorted for my pictures once when I trusted a girl I had met on OkCupid. So I don't want to be in the smae position again. PS. I know this is a personal decision, I was just wondering what the consensus is If anything makes you feel uncomfortable and the "Dom" you're communicating with is going to punish you in any way (including stopping communication) for saying no, then my advice would be to move on. Being lonely is hard but it's infinitely better than being in an abusive or transactional relationship. Finding a relationship is hard enough without the extra layers of compatibility that having certain kinks add. If you do share photos, you can make it a little 'safer' by making sure they're as anonymous as possible (no face, tattoos, clues in the background, birth marks etc.. visible in the smutty ones, only share face pics with those you trust). Don't let people pressure you to give your contact details like you phone number right away, if they're not willing to give it some time chatting on here that's a red flag. Feeling vulnerable is one of the great things about this kind of dynamic, but not before trust is earned and that takes time. If somebody is pushing you for things you've made clear you are uncomfortable with then they're probably not relationship material. Don't settle for less than what you and everybody here deserves - a healthy/supportive relationship free of any sort of coercion or abuse. |
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Sincorrigible(sub female)
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4 months ago •
Jul 30, 2024
Re: How much should I Share on first contact? reticent wrote: confusedvirginboy wrote: People may have asked and answered, but I still wonder how much of myself should I share for an online connection. Ex: All Doms I approach teel me to send pictures, my body measurements, contact details, and name. I want to get into a relationship so I would do it usually, but it feels like leaving myself too vulnerable.
Also I have some PTSD with this too, I got extorted for my pictures once when I trusted a girl I had met on OkCupid. So I don't want to be in the smae position again. PS. I know this is a personal decision, I was just wondering what the consensus is If anything makes you feel uncomfortable and the "Dom" you're communicating with is going to punish you in any way (including stopping communication) for saying no, then my advice would be to move on. Being lonely is hard but it's infinitely better than being in an abusive or transactional relationship. Finding a relationship is hard enough without the extra layers of compatibility that having certain kinks add. If you do share photos, you can make it a little 'safer' by making sure they're as anonymous as possible (no face, tattoos, clues in the background, birth marks etc.. visible in the smutty ones, only share face pics with those you trust). Don't let people pressure you to give your contact details like you phone number right away, if they're not willing to give it some time chatting on here that's a red flag. Feeling vulnerable is one of the great things about this kind of dynamic, but not before trust is earned and that takes time. If somebody is pushing you for things you've made clear you are uncomfortable with then they're probably not relationship material. Don't settle for less than what you and everybody here deserves - a healthy/supportive relationship free of any sort of coercion or abuse. This. This is really good advice. 💜 Me expressing my concerns recently about what was being asked of me won me a 'this concerns me' from the man in question (not a dominant in my book however he chose and chooses to present himself). And I've years of experience. There are men and women out there who play this game really well and know the buttons to push to bring out the pleaser in submissives. Trust your gut. When you feel that something isn't quite right, listen harder for further clues. |
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Miki(masochist female)
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4 months ago •
Jul 31, 2024
@sincorrigible
Thanks for bringing this back closer to the original topic. ------------------------------------------------------------ All too often there are threads which start out with a sincere question that go sideways and degenerate into pissing contests between dime-store head shrinkers. |
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SirDomCE(dom male)
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4 months ago •
Jul 31, 2024
Whatever makes you feel most comfortable. Nothing more. There is NO consenual arrangement between you two as stated. Best of luck.
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