Intimacy and connection

Intimacy and connection

bdsamworld​(sub female){collared} • Sep 16, 2024

What is intimacy? Well here's the actual definition:
- Close familiarity or friendship; closeness.
- A private cozy atmosphere.
- An intimate act, especially sexual intercourse

With that out of the way, what is intimacy to you? Is it "just" sex or a sexual? Is it something transparent while being vulnerable with someone? Do you need a connection to be intimate?

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Sep 16, 2024

Sex and sex acts can be entirely separate to intimacy for me. Though I believe most would say that doesnt make sense (not in here: it'll make a good deal of sense to this self selecting group).

Intimacy is a connection of thought and intent, appreciation and mutualilty. Understanding and reciprocation. A look, a smile, a raised eyebrow, the lifting of skirt to reveal stocking top or naked cunt, a gentle touch, a hug...... All can be far more intimate than a 'sex act' .

For me, it could even be an instantaneous intimacy, not predicated on an existing relationship.

Kelpi • Sep 17, 2024

Intimacy. Is many things and depends on who you are with. There have been cold nights wrapped in a blanket watching a fire outside the house just cuddled up and loving the feeling of having her in my arms. Then it has been the wild sex and the cool down after when I ask if it was enough or should we try for another round. Although those winter nights just sitting and both of us reading whatever book we had. The pleassure I got looking over my book to watch her reading knowing there was not only the mother of my child but the holder of my heart.

It is what you put into it and want out of it. A cuddle a fondle or a quick grab of a cheek as you pass by.

PrincessLemon​(sub female) • Sep 17, 2024

For me, intimacy can come in many forms. It could be something as simple as holding hands, sharing a smile from across the room, or even covering the table corner as I bend down. I don’t think you necessarily need a prior connection to experience intimacy.

Take, for example, having sex with someone—even if it’s just a one-night stand. To me, it’s still intimate because you’re letting them make you feel good, and you’re doing the same for them. In those moments, you’re both showing each other a vulnerable side, and that’s what makes it Intimate. I think an orgasm is the most intimate experience you can have with a person.

Miki​(masochist female) • Sep 17, 2024

I always interpreted "intimacy" "as defined" but I also know that these days, definitions are variable.

But for me personally, intimacyinvolves an emotional bond or commonality aside from the "hot sheets".

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As for the balance of the original post, "emotional vulnerability" was never in my wheelhouse, so I don't expect emo connections at all when I want to get it on.

In fact, speaking for myself, I prefer there not to be a connection. It jibes with what turns me on.

Along with being sexually vulnerable in bondage, suspendion, whips and crops and other instuments of discipline, I get off on being "enjoyed" by whomever I am with and then left lying there with the aftermath but of no other use to the top.

DidiRN​(sub female) • Sep 18, 2024

I always looked at physical intimacy and emotional intimacy as two separate but connected things. Physical intimacy, to me, is sex. Emotional intimacy is letting someone see all of what makes me who I am, even the dark hidden parts. Personally I can't be physically intimate with someone without at least a spark of emotional interest. Right now the idea of emotional intimacy terrifies me because of the hurt I'm currently healing from, and I didn't even let him see all of my shadows.

MangoBits​(sub female) • Sep 21, 2024

Intimacy to me feels like **deep** connection. Very below the surface, almost like I'm baring my soul to another soul and being heard and felt... **deeply**. When done right, it's almost like you two are the only people left on Earth.

Maybe it's me, but intimacy feels harder to attain and maintain in an increasingly vapid world. My hope is that as I get older, and further into community, I'll find more people who share that same understanding of intimacy with me 🥭

Truemasterkai • Sep 21, 2024

I would define it as a state in which the expressions of emotion between people aren't burdened by external factors. Or at least less so than they usually are. By that I mean things like, worrying about how you look or if the other person thinks of you the way you'd like them to. You're simply in the moment of expression and that's all that exists. And I think there's an idea that this is exclusive to positive emotions. You can be intimate in your hatred of a person, I believe. Depending on circumstances.

Regardless, I agree that it's an increasingly rare thing. I don't think it has anything to do with sex, exclusively. You can sleep with anyone. Simply because you are naked and not on guard doesn't mean you are being vulnerable. And I would argue that a lot of what people call sex is just co-op masturbation and not actual sex. But that's me being unnecessarily particular.