Experience

daveyNY​(sub male) • Oct 2, 2024

While this old subboi is in no way new to the "Lifestyle", it is his first day here.
Have read the preceding posts and find it interesting how many different ways F/folks find, to try and justify their O/own experiences to O/others.

This one has always found that it is more than appropriate to just remember that each of our life experiences are very unique and should be shared and enjoyed and commented on in such a way that uplifts the Community as a Whole.

It is never easy nor very productive to attempt to deal with O/our internal demons on our own.
W/we all have bad days, it just important to remember to express the frustration and ask for support during those times from F/folks you feel comfortable talking with.

This one hopes to make new friends here and share his experiences with anyone who is interested. 🙂

Steellover​(sub male) • Oct 2, 2024

Like a lot of dudes who discover their kinky side for the first time, at first the feelings were so intense that it was overwhelming to me. I wanted to express them, and of course, to experience these things first hand. Thankfully, it was well before I discovered this site; it was on a now-defunct fetish dating site (Not fetlife, which I still have yet to register for.) Lets just say, I made a lot of the same mistakes that many newbies make (guys especially) when they first open that pandora's box of kinky BDSM desires. I learned and overcome them, and over time, learned about myself and my own needs. One thing I realized eventually was that I still have a need for a long-term emotional and romantic connection to go with the "Spice." A quick session with a pro isn't good enough anymore.

Kelpi • Oct 3, 2024

They are just like anyone else and come in all shapes colors and attitudes. The one thing I truely love is that here I can let my other side out. The one only close friends know about. It feels so good to have some place I can talk about things and know I will not be judged a dirty old man. Not that it is a bad thing because I am. I hear it almost everyday from friends who know me. It is just nice to know I am understood.

bdsamworld​(sub female){collared} • Oct 5, 2024

I've been in/out since 2004, with majority of my days being involved in some way. My first Master passed away in 2006, so I decided to see if there was a local community. Huzzah! Found my people! I quickly joined as many events as I could. Mainly to meet other people because I felt like I was so "weird" (I am, but for other reasons) and it was exciting to meet other "like minded" people. After such a dark time in my life I felt like I was on cloud 9 attending all of these parties and meeting so many people. It was awesome, but the people I was meeting weren't of a good quality. While it was on me for still playing or engaging in activities with these people, I still learned so much.

Skip ahead to the end of 2008, I met my now husband. He was NOT into BDSM and his version of kinky was not the same as mine. Hahaha. We struggled for many years, me denying what I needed and wanted. While he struggled with trying to be someone he wasn't (Dominant). We decided back in 2016 to become poly for many reasons and it was a decision we took a long time to come to. My slow immersion back into the community went horribly wrong. I kept meeting some very toxic characters (one almost ended in a restraining order).

Basically the worst stuff that could happen...happened. So why am I still here? Why am I still excited to be here? Because I knew that I needed to work on myself and heal some deep trauma I was putting off dealing with for many years. And now I couldn't be happier, a collared slave to an amazing man.

Should I have quit or ran away from something that I enjoy and is so deeply rooted in me after some bad decisions and bad people? Perhaps, but then I wouldn't be where I am today. I know I wouldn't have realized how much I needed to heal my trauma, even though I'll always be healing, I can now recognize some red flags. If not I can reach out to the community, get some feedback, and then make decisions based off that and what my gut tells me. Not every negative experience needs to haunt you.