I hope I didn't trigger anyone with what I wrote. Sort of thought about that too late.
ByronDeSade wrote:
Third, How do the BBW's feel they are treated here? Is there any sense of Fatfobia?
My response above was to this. Yes, I experience fat phobia here, in the BDSM world and in general, quite a lot. And obviously, I don't like it. Although, in my experiences with vanilla people vs non is that they either want to fuck me and be done or they just won't ask me out in the first place. Whereas Doms will want to change me.
Even when I'm fighting tooth and nail saying that's not on my OK list or when I say that I don't trust their opinions on what's best for my body because they have demonstrated they don't understand my personal health issues (mental health and my eating disorder) or even know what a single meal looks like for me???
The first Dom to want to change the way I look fought me a lot and I ultimately gave in until he did something else I didn't like, so it ended. The next time it happened (with Mister and Miss), I didn't fight because I thought this was to be expected. Small sample size, but I was young. Still it has proven right in most cases, in my experiences with Doms.
I have a stack of things going for me that people don't like: what I do for a living, my size and my sexual preferences (as someone who likes BDSM). I see all of it as filters for the right kind of people for me!
I still have an eating disorder and it still impacts me negatively, but I've worked really hard on it and my body dysmorphia is GONE-GONE. I love my body the way it is and any control of my eating that I display has to do with me trying to calm myself, not reshape myself (or as a way of slow suicide).
I love my body no matter what anyone else thinks of it. But given the opportunity to choose, I don't hang out with people who look at me that way. Period.
I love my job. Most people would put me down for it, so I have very few friends.
I like BDSM and kinky stuff. I don't have to talk about this to anyone, I realize... but I like surrounding myself only with people I have close and authentic relationships with - and for me, that means I CAN and DO talk about it to an extent.
If my body were more accepted by people as a whole, if they were ok with my job and thought my interest in kink made me a badass (like some of my friends say), then it WOULD be something else. People judge, it's what we do.
I'm lucky I can filter out the people who won't judge me so quickly and finally.