Online now
Online now

General Meetings

ArthursKnight​(sub trans man)
3 months ago • Aug 14, 2024

General Meetings

How do you think one should start in getting into the in-person bdsm community?
I'll be moving to another country soon, and there I think I'd feel safer doing something like this, but how does one find Munches or stuff like that? Does one search online? Are there dedicated groups online or should one search another way?
I also feel awkward because as a trans man with no surgeries and only wearing a binder I fear general rejection but alas.
Solace​(dom male)
3 months ago • Aug 14, 2024
Solace​(dom male) • Aug 14, 2024
I'm not a big fan of Fetlifes community. The cage is a much more welcoming space. However, the shear size of Fetlife makes it much much easier to find munches and events in your area. Perhaps even ones tailored more to your specific tastes if you have any to speak of.

That would be the only reason I personally use fetlife though.
    The most loved post in topic
lambsoneVerified Account
lambsoneVerified Account
3 months ago • Aug 15, 2024
lambsoneVerified Account • Aug 15, 2024
Since you are in Italy, you might do a Google search for bdsm munches in the community you live in. If nothing comes up then expand it a little further outside your community.

But a munch would be a low key way to get introduced to people in your area. Often people dress as vanilla and meet at restaurants to get to know each other.

Beyond that there are play parties, dungeon classes which you could Google in the same way as Munches. Try BDSM organizations in your search too. Something will emerge as a starting point.

And don't be shy about your own proclivities. Or think you are the only one who has those particular ones, because you will just isolate yourself and not see the options available. You'll defeat yourself before you even start.
ArthursKnight​(sub trans man)
4 weeks ago • Nov 14, 2024
Solace wrote:
I'm not a big fan of Fetlifes community. The cage is a much more welcoming space. However, the shear size of Fetlife makes it much much easier to find munches and events in your area. Perhaps even ones tailored more to your specific tastes if you have any to speak of.

That would be the only reason I personally use fetlife though.


That's interesting because I've only been told to stay away from FetLife altogether but I see it might have its uses
ArthursKnight​(sub trans man)
4 weeks ago • Nov 14, 2024
lambsone wrote:
Since you are in Italy, you might do a Google search for bdsm munches in the community you live in. If nothing comes up then expand it a little further outside your community.

But a munch would be a low key way to get introduced to people in your area. Often people dress as vanilla and meet at restaurants to get to know each other.

Beyond that there are play parties, dungeon classes which you could Google in the same way as Munches. Try BDSM organizations in your search too. Something will emerge as a starting point.

And don't be shy about your own proclivities. Or think you are the only one who has those particular ones, because you will just isolate yourself and not see the options available. You'll defeat yourself before you even start.


I'm in the process of moving to Germany and I will start looking here.

Your advice is sound. I try to hide myself and what I like, even in normal convos, for fear of judgment. But in bdsm there shouldn't be as long as everyone is a consenting partner, and even speaking of it, I could find someone with the same tastes that I could talk to
MissBonnie​(dom female){oz}Verified Account
4 weeks ago • Nov 15, 2024
MissBonnie​(dom female){oz}Verified Account • Nov 15, 2024
Easiest way to just to type in your search bar "BDSM" and "munch" and your nearest "capital city"

Best of luck with your move https://findamunch.com/category/locations/germany/ is a good place to start. You might also find this group of interest as you just meet their age criteria

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SMJG
Miki​(masochist female)
4 weeks ago • Nov 15, 2024
Miki​(masochist female) • Nov 15, 2024
Indeed, search online using the keywords mentioned above..

--------------------------------

And... just to note: Contrary to its oft-deserved reputation, going into Fet is not akin to breaching the gates of Hell or going into a farted-up shithouse.

Like any site, it can be what you make of it and you're free to go in and look around for what you're interested in and ignore anything you're not.


I did the same in this place when I joined nearly 7 years ago.

At the outset my inbox was blown to smithereens with offers to hit the Hot Sheets and other messages of "interest" from horn-dog doms with their one-eyed snakes a-searchin'.

(and there was a smattering of well-intentioned dudes)

But it didn't discourage me. My purpose in here is not to meet people in person to get boinked, do a maso-girl session or anything other than to stay in touch with the "pulse" of the twisted community, post to forum threads I feel I can stick two sometimes tarnished pennies into, and respond to the occasional message. Nothing more...

So... you can do that too on FootLife, as you engage the site to get the information you need to connect with the BDSM community in your new digs.
silentnotes​(sub female){Looking }
3 weeks ago • Nov 18, 2024
I'd always suggest looking up open meetings, sometimes there's just people from the community meeting in a casual setting, which I think is nice to get into it. Aside from that probably conventions or classes would probably be a good thing to look for in your area