cyberfucking, sexting, phone sex

cyberfucking, sexting, phone sex

intenseoldman​(dom male) • Nov 21, 2024

I have spent a lot of time sexting/cyberfucking and phone fucking. When it was just consensual play with someone, I never considered it more than a mood elevator . There were times I felt more connection, but I really didn't consider it sex. I am now aware through therapy and friends, that even though it didn't mean that much to me, it meant something to others. Now, I don’t think I should cybersex when I'm with someone, and I believe I shouldn't cybersex anyone I'm trying to get to know. I wonder about others' views because I'd like to be more aware. Is cybersex really sex? Is it connection? Is it cheating if you're involved with someone? Is it good, or Is it harmful?

Miki​(masochist female) • Nov 21, 2024

As should always be the case---Ask 'em!

As for getting busy remotely being "sex" or not: Does it really matter?

If you both enjoy this activity and understand the pitfalls of putting this kind of thing online, where it stays until Hell freezes over, it's between the two of you.

********************

However, be mindful that when cleaning up afterwards, certain glass cleaners can fuck up your monitor screen surface or worse, your phone screen.

Just Sayin' ^_^

B L O N D I E​(sub female) • Nov 21, 2024

I think it can be a great way to both build connection and get to know someone remotely before you've actually meet them. And yes, I would classify it as cheating. The fact that others have developed feelings based on this says it all. You might not have feelings for someone you had IRL sex with, but the other person develops feelings. I don't see a difference.

TwinkleEyes{N/A} • Nov 21, 2024

I consider anything that can create an orgasm sex. AKA oral sex, anal sex, sexting, cyber sex.

It’s good to have a conversation about sex, consent, and what it means. However, doing it right before the event is a mood killer. 👎🏼

As far as anything online staying just between 2 people… does it all the time? Gossip happens and people get nicknames in an online community.

I do know several females who will start saying “I love you” within the first couple of times during play. Even had some guys say “I love you” during or after. To me this is a 🚩 Others would get really possessive of me and my free time over sexting and/or phone sex. Also, a 🚩

Now I’m more cognizant of what it means to other people and try to be responsible before having any type of sex/kink with someone. Out of respect and honor for those involved.

If your partner doesn’t know that you’re having ANY type of sex with others, it’s cheating. It’s disrespectful to yourself, to your partner, and disvaluing a true deep connection with someone.

All in all it’s subjective to those involved. I personally find it boring and used to fake orgasms or watch some porn to get off. I prefer in the flesh, smells, sounds, feel of a cock inside of me, the wetness, 🤤, and 😈 things said to me.

intenseoldman​(dom male) • Nov 21, 2024

Yeah, Miki, you bring up a good point. I may delete all those words--taken in the wrong context, they could get me in a lot of trouble--but I don’t know what happens on the other end. They could wind up in some chat group like many conversations do here.

intenseoldman​(dom male) • Nov 21, 2024

So you may never have physically touched another but you touched them. Like I said, I don't cheat when I'm with someone but I don't think I'm with someone until I'm with them IRL. I mean online relationships and the sex that goes with them... it's hard for me to count them as real.

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Nov 21, 2024

Touch goes way beyond the physical. I've had some truly life changing relationships online. Mileage varies, and what any individual wants varies.

People are real, whether your cock is literally or metaphorically inside them.

That Berry Lover​(sub female) • Nov 21, 2024

For me, phone sex has the same effects as physical sex,

A person can feel incredibly draining to me or energising, even over the phone.

There's something intimate about sending images, I'm the type of person who doesn't even like getting naked around other women because my body is the only thing that feels completely mine. Everything else is temporary and can easily be taken away, but my body is a constant in my life. It's the one thing that I have full control over. I get to choose who to share it with. I am also very careful of what comments are directed towards my body, so I am strict about who I share my body with. For me, sharing images is sharing my body and it's so intimate.

I am celibate in real life but I struggle with being completely celibate, I love touching myself. The more I've been avoiding physical sex, the more I realise that I really don't like it. I realised that I loved touching myself and exploring myself more than being with someone physically. I was not really strict in my early to mid-20s, with who I shared my body with and it felt very traumatic afterwards because I was not doing it for the right reasons. I am such a lover girl, I'm a person who gets attached to people very easily.

I was once in a long-distance relationship that was solely based on phone sex and it felt extremely dehumanising to me. That's when I realised that I need to be careful of who I play with to protect my own mental health. I struggle to feel aroused without a connection and I start dreading online play when I feel like there is no connection. I am very vocal about it but I am also aware that not everyone feels the same way. Honesty is always the best in these situations.

B L O N D I E​(sub female) • Nov 21, 2024

I think as long as you are upfront with the person that you see it this way, then there's no problem. They just need to understand that you two aren't fully together unless it's real life--and explain to them that you will continue to communicate with other people until that happens. That's something I think you need to be clear on upfront. Just my opinion.

lambsone • Nov 22, 2024

I've played with men online here at the cage. Some of it was under the guise of "training", and some just because we wanted to. I've played with those who owned me and those who didn't.

In all cases, feelings developed of some sort. The interaction was real, even if not in person. Some sort of bonding took place even if just admiration.

I tend to believe that if your thoughts and interactions online produce an orgasm or the need for one, then you have connected to the other person on a deeper level than a surface "get to know you" level as you would for anyone.

Jesus understood that deep connection and taught:

“You have heard that it was said to the people in the old days, ‘You shall not commit adultery’. But I say to you that every man who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her—in his heart." Matthew 5:28 (Phillips)

As much as we may want to deny it, we give a piece of ourselves to those we interact with. For this discussion it would be a sexual piece.

While sexting, we are imagining being with that person, what they might look like, how our bodies would comingle, what we would do to them and what they would do to us, etc. We have the scene in mind. This can take our mind off of the one we are committed to if that person exists. It can water down our pure devotion to them. And they will sense it.

My two cents from my personal experience. Your mileage may differ.