Obedience

“I have encountered guys messaging in the first instance, saying I will obey them, bla bla bla. I think it is funny these days . For me, it's not practical. I have done exactly what as been asked of me, lots of times when in person connections. “

I recently met with a sadist/abuser who called himself a Daddy Dom. Within 1 day he expected me to obey his commands and to accept his sadism as if I was his. He started ordering me around without any agreement to do so. When I said no and stop that he would tell me to “fuck off” or say “you little bitch” along with something about topping from the bottom. Even though our agreement had always been friends with a side of Sadist/masochist play. No guarantee of sexual play and/or servitude.

On the 3rd morning I told him to leave. We agreed a couple of hours later for him to stay with the agreement that all he ever would be to me is a friend. Over the next 13 days he tried to manipulate me into a dynamic of his building, was abusive, passive aggressive, lied, manipulated, and became extremely gas lightening towards me. The more I stood my ground, honored my boundaries, and said no the worse his alcoholism and verbal/emotional abuse got.

On day 16 he unconsensually physically put his hands on me at a casino in a controlling violent way. The security guard who saw the event walked me to the bathroom and kept asking me if I would be okay. I drove this narcissistic, alcoholic, abuser back to my place told him to pack his shit and leave. I graciously drove him to a hotel because he was in no state to be out wandering the streets in an unfamiliar place.

So, I have a bit of a question concerning obedience. How to handle an online Dom/sub relationship? I am getting more under the "control" of my Mistress, so how do I ensure the obedience? Must I video every task assigned, for example? I'm sure I will get commands from her soon, but how do others deal with that aspect?

@TopekaDom

If a sub and Dom were in the negotiation stage of their relationship, wouldn't it be wise for them to clarify the Dom's expectations in all areas before entering into a relationship? And the Dom to find out the subs expectations as well?

I'm asking specifically for the types of things the Dom would expect in the area of obedience before a relationship is established. I'm not asking about what they expect after they have already finished the negotiations where they've already discussed it.

Your answer would apply to after negotiations. If by chance you mean a sub should just know at any time, even without the Dom making it clear beforehand, then the sub would have to be a mind reader. Right?