New Online Master/Sub Relationship

New Online Master/Sub Relationship

Little D​(sub female) • Nov 21, 2024

I have an online relationship with my Master and sometimes I get jealous thinking he might be talking to another sub, which he says he isn’t and would not but how do I overcome the fear of this. I have never done an online relationship before so this is new to me. Any advice would help.?

lambsone • Nov 21, 2024

I've only had online relationships at the cage (except the last one who I met in person for a few hours after 2 months of online).

Trust is a key factor in any relationship. Even in real life. We are never going to be around someone 100% of the time, so trusting them to be faithful can be a challenge.

I usually trust them until they give me reason not to. But it can strip a relationship of joy if we are constantly fearing that we are being cheated on or that they are bored with us.

I encounter that in every relationship, so that's why I have decided to give them the benefit of the doubt until I know differently. It helps me relax and enjoy them while I can.

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Nov 21, 2024

I'm sorry you are feeling this. I have been there. And there are, sadly, many men (and women I presume) who play these online games and do not treat people well, do not treat them as real people, with real attachment and feeling.

I have been where you are, and been told that he is not talking to others. When he is.

I have also experienced truly wonderful online dynamics where the man isn't and doesn't lie to me. And he has been a man of his word.

The only advice I can give you is what I've said here many many times:trust your gut. If the man is not consistent, vanishes at odd times (wife or partner on the scene, talking to others), or gaslights you, makes out that you are the problem, believe your gut feels. You will know when it's okay and he is to be trusted.

Men who convince us to let go, feel safe with them, trust them, and push us hard to do so 'i wish you'd just let go'... Are red flag manipulators. And I think we know, deep down. We just get sucked into the 'thirst trap' claptrap they feed us.

I hope you can talk to him, share your thoughts and feelings, and that he is a genuine gentleman and dominant. But if you get funny feelings of doubt, and things aren't sitting well, trust yourself.

TwinkleEyes​{n/a} • Nov 21, 2024

[quote="Sincorrigible"]”

“sadly, many men (and women I presume) who play these online games and do not treat people well, do not treat them as real people, with real attachment and feeling”
“trust your gut. Ifthe man is not consistent, vanishes at odd times (wife or partner on the scene, talking to others), or gaslights you, makes out that you are the problem, believe your gut feels”

“Men who convince us to let go, feel safe with them, trust them, and push us hard to do so 'i wish you'd just let go'... Are red flag manipulators. And I think we know, deep down. We just get sucked into the 'thirst trap' claptrap they feed us.”

Big truths here. Trusting your gut is key. Many people choose the shallow pond online. Titles, age, gender mean nothing.

Sadly I believe many choose the shallow end online. Having quickies online and never really getting deep into it. It’s the quick fix. AKA dopamine rush. Rather than the slow, tantalizing, deep burn.

I’ve learned to vet, vet, vet, and then vet some more. Ask around about them. Ask all ages, titles, genders, etc. send a quick message out. As Sincorrigible said trust your gut it’s part of vetting. Take time to show your vulnerable side.

Learn yourself and your needs verses wants and desires. Take care of yourself in the ways a D type would. These types of things will help you feel more secure in your choices of partners now and in the future. By building a deep relationship with yourself first.

intenseoldman​(dom male) • Nov 22, 2024

I agree with Sin and Twink... you should trust your intuition. It is a gift. Use it. Why give anyone the benefit of the doubt online when most are fakes and liars? If you feel something's up, it probably is. If you're new to online relationships... and new here or wherever you met your "Master" ask people who have been around and seem knowledgeable about him. Try to make friends with other subs so you have some support and someone to talk to besides dominants. You'll get more objective and more valuable advice from a sub.

vv V vv​(sadist male) • Nov 22, 2024

Just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s true.
Don’t let the ghosts of past relationships haunt the relationships of the present and future.

lambsone • Nov 22, 2024

I feel the need to clarify my statement to "give the benefit of the doubt".

What I don't mean is blindly accepting anything they tell you.

What I do mean is keep your eyes and ears open to how they consistently act and talk. Stay aware of the things others in this thread have stated.

Build your own dossier on them. I often take notes on what I'm told and compare future information with what I've already seen and heard. When I get enough identifiable information on them, I run a background check.

Don't be afraid to ask questions no matter how small or petty they seem. It could be just the tip of the iceberg to something greater whether good or bad.

If you are doing these things consistently, and you aren't coming up with roadblocks or red flags, then trust what they tell you so that you can enjoy the part of the relationship that you've already checked out. If something to the contrary comes up later, then re-evaluate.

But always stay on the alert because if you don't have the benefit of knowing their family and friends and didn't grow up with them & having observed their behavior and decisions, then you have to resort to other ways of discovering accurate info on them.

House Talion​(dom male) • Jan 17, 2025

Trust is required for any such relations. For you to call him Master without trusting him even for just an o line relationship is wrong.

rsparks​(sub female) • Jan 17, 2025

I will have to say that whether it is an online relationship or an in person relationship, there is always the potential to have trust issues, especially when you don't live together. Also, because we all have busy lives, it's easy for someone to get suspicious or make their own assumptions when we could simply be working or pursuing a hobby. I can admit that I have trust issues from past relationships. I have been cheated on just like everyone else. But I don't let that affect a future relationship unless that person gives me a reason (one that isn't created in my head) not to.

The only thing I can tell you is that you are going to have to trust him and if you can't, then you shouldn't be together.

The Number one Sir​(dom male) • Jan 17, 2025

To start a new relationship is to open yourself up to being hurt in some way, we have to accept this to move on.

Even if he is talking to someone else, if you and him are a better fit then he will soon just focus on you.

I went through similar thoughts earlier on during my conversations with my current sub (who I have not met yet) but with time it usually goes away.