Cheating kink

Cheating kink

JayeJaye​(sub male) • Apr 9, 2025

Hi, I'm fairly new to all things BDSM.

Little background: spent a while thinking I might be asexual, but eventually found that the things that turned me on were just things I hadn't really encountered before. At some point I became aware of chastity cages and cuckolding and thought this seemed like the thing for me. I spent some time thinking and researching, and eventually managed to find the courage to talk to my girlfriend about it. She was great, supportive, open minded. We've already got me a couple of cages and I've started to wear them a little to get used to them, though we haven't really broached cuckolding yet.

The thing is, at a certain point I started to like the idea of, rather than cuckolding, cheating (ie my girlfriend cheating), as sort of a fantasy/roleplay thing, and I'm seriously concerned about feeling this way. It feels like it's not healthy and I'm not sure what to do about it other than suppress it. I thought it worth asking for advice, so here I am. Thanks in advance

MasterDarcy​(dom male) • Apr 10, 2025

Suppressing anything in life will lead to nothing but wasting of precious time.

If it feels natural to you, do it. Discuss it with your girlfriend and take it from there.

If she's up for it then go for it.

Life's too short to repress your natural inclinations or instincts. Life is about experiencing, experimenting and being true to yourself.

Don't use negative words like "unhealthy" as it's toxic and it does nothing but bring shame and embarrassment.

Best of luck.

MasterDarcy​(dom male) • Apr 10, 2025

Also, it's technically cheating if there's prior consent.

It would only be cheating if the other person in the relationshipd/ynamic hasn't made aware.

JaredMayer​(dom male) • Apr 10, 2025

Based on many years of inhabiting spaces for unusual pornography, I can tell you that your kink is much more common than you probably think. As long as everyone involved is informed and consenting I don't think it's a big deal or particularly unhealthy. I mean, you'd basically just be in an open relationship where you both pretend it is illicit.

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Apr 10, 2025

Really the question becomes how do you define "cuckhold". Do you have to be present during her fornication with others, or does your knowing she is out there banging others without you around fall into that? If you know she is out there doing that and tells you later, is that really cheating?

Steellover​(sub male) • Apr 10, 2025

I've talked about this before on forums, blog posts, etc.

The cuckolding dynamic has it's positives. It allows the female partner to experiment, and to seek variety, and thus be less likely to be bored or feel trapped. For the male, if he is kink-inclined and submissive, there is both a voyeuristic aspect to it and a humiliation aspect to it which can be a turn on. Both partners need to have a mutual desire to explore this however. There can be negative outcomes, too: The woman may, after a time, no longer wish to be romantically involved with the cuckold anymore, and may fall in love with the "bull" (not my favorite term) i.e. her alternative partner. Or she may feel that if her hubby proposes such a thing, that he is encouraging her because he is no longer attracted to her and that might make her feel uncomfortable.