Can You Truly Call Yourself Obedient

SubStanChill​(sub male) • Nov 24, 2025

Apologies, but I think there is an important distinction from being “obedient” and being “submissive”.

I do not think you can at all call yourself obedient if your actions go against your domme/dom’s directions. But I do not think being submissive implies veing obedient.

The real question is, if you aren’t able or willing to get your sub to obey… are you really a domme/dom?

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female)​{🍕+☕} • Nov 28, 2025

As a Brat, this is a question we face DAILY! We can be viewed as disobedient to the point that we aren't viewed as submissives AT ALL.

Beneath the mere act of obeying a command is the question if "what does the act of being obedient provide the dominant?".

In the case of a dynamic with a Brat, the service provided is the mental stimulation. That mental stimulation (eventually expressed by physical acts/verbal interaction) could be the anticeedent of the dominant energy.

Consider this: The dominant in question has a history of adrenaline driven activities. That could range from sports to military service. Whatever they do with their time, adrenaline always seems to be activated.

Outside of those activities, daily life could seem dull and boring. The dominant can (and does) become addicted to adrenaline so it takes a certain type of dynamic to "rev the engine". Enter the Brat.

The Brat provides the service of being that anticeedent. The Brat pushes the right button, the dominant feels their neanderthal brain activating, the drive to conquer flares, adrenaline starts coursing through their body and the Brat, with what others view as their "disobedience", provides for the dominant what they most desire, an adrenaline high.

When the brat observes that just the right amount of stimulation has been provided, they release some of the pressure and just like turning the temp down on the stove to prevent a pot from over boiling, the dominant "cooks" until the meal (play session) is finished.

House Talion​(dom male) • Nov 28, 2025

I obey where its proper by basic social standards. Other than that im hardly obedient.

Texasdays​(dom male) • Dec 2, 2025

In my experience, if the words and actions don't match then it is the same to me as just a role playing game.

"Being submissive sounds fun"
"That's interesting, I'll try it"
"That book was hot, can we try some of it?"

Fun games, but not really true submission or obedience. Both parties in the scene have decided the flow and boundaries, and overall narrative. It's a role play rather than a submission which can be fun if you're aware of the other person's intent, but hugely frustrating for a dominant personality that was looking for a true submissive partner. I've taken to asking questions before I interact with someone in a scene to try and get a better idea of their experience or expectations to avoid this misunderstanding. Soft scenes can be fun like I said, but like all scenes, everyone needs to be on the same page.